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5 August 2014 ~

Roy Hodgson says that England may have to play "like Norway" when they travel to Switzerland for a Euro 2016 qualifier on Monday. That sounds a bit ambitious, Roy.

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GoAhead150Badge of the week ~ Go Ahead Eagles, Netherlands
Apparently one cannot say Holland anymore. It is The Netherlands everywhere these days. No matter. The Go Ahead Eagles are represented by the Go Ahead Eagle, an eagle elevated among his peers through his commitment to working towards The Body Beautiful.

On the club's crest he is seen in typical pose, flexing his wing muscles artistically to display their prominence and definition. Many Netherlandish (I am not going to risk offending anyone by using "Dutch", a perfectly good old-fashioned word in my view) eagles would go about their business, flying around and dropping from a great height onto a water vole, but the Go Ahead Eagle wanted to get ahead and spent much of his spare time practising the Dynamic Tension technique pioneered by Charles Atlas.

It was said that the Go Ahead Eagle could crush a grown man between its wings as if he were a paper invitation to appear on Aled Jones' Sunday morning Christian chat show. So, the eagle is still seen in what we must time-wastingly refer to as The Netherlands as a figure of strength and power, as well as a big lover of the full-length mirror. Cameron Carter

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from Martyn Ruscoe
"Mark Draper moves into haute couture."

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from Tim Manns

"Highlight of the Football Focus Deadline Day Special, Neil Lennon: "Obviously they have still got to dot the t's and cross the i's."

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Aston Villa may not have noticed but their announcement of Tom Cleverley's signing is a Photoshop of him scoring against them.

Clev400

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from Tom Lines
"The St Kitts & Nevis FA try to put a positive spin on Wednesday's action at the Caribbean Cup."

StKitts400

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Also in the news this week
Sky Sports News report interrupted.
The "great vision" of the Jordanian FA president leads him to appoint Ray Wilkins.
When James Milner mishits a pass, it stays mishit.

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