A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
22 August 2014 ~

England can draw one positive from what will surely be a record low attendance to the new Wembley for the upcoming match against Norway. Even if they lose the crowd won't be big enough for the players to hear a crescendo of boos.

---
Nakhon150aBadge of the week ~ Nakhon Si Heritage FC, Thailand
The Wheat Witch of Nakhon Province is a marginal, unknowable figure in all the tales that are told of her. For one thing, her powers are only strong in areas of high wheat presence. So this is wheat fields and the cereal aisle of supermarkets. She did work the cereal aisle of supermarkets for a while, until a trainee manager at the local Tesco carried out a civilian's arrest on her for "dressing in a manner inappropriate to the public's enjoyment of the Tesco retail experience". And for "foul and derisive language".

Sticking thereafter to the wheat fields of Nakhon Province, the Wheat Witch had some success cursing ramblers and frightening farm labourers. Her most destructive spell being the infliction of a wheat allergy, the witch eventually lost ground in the area of Legendary Figures to contemporaries such as the Dairy Products Witch and the Magazines & Confectionary Witch. No one tells stories of the Wheat Witch in Thailand anymore, she is remembered in the club's badge only because in their choice of local characters it was either her or a local drunkard with a perpetual black eye. Cameron Carter

---

from Steve Wilson
"If you have a copy of John Aldridge's autobiography, sell it now while there's a collectors' market."

---

The Lincoln City manager demonstrates the versatility of jelly babies.

---

from Ross Garner

"Leicester City have just given a debut to an ageing rock star, according to their Facebook page."

LeicesterNugent400

---

Also in the news this week
Alleged birdpoop incident at Old Trafford.
A shoe-in for Toronto FC.
Well-worked free-kick at Upton Park.
And a superb corner at Valencia.

Related articles

From tildes to umlauts: Premier League players embrace shirt punctuation to show roots
Embed from Getty Images window.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'Pq2kari6TadvlklHcMGEAw',...
Heads Up: My life story by Alan Smith
Constable, £20Reviewed by Pete BrooksbankFrom WSC 386, May 2019Buy the book...
Micky Adams: My life in football
by Micky Adams & Neil MoxleyBiteback Publishing, £20Reviewed by Neville HadsleyFrom WSC 372, February 2018Buy the book...

Sign up to the WSC Weekly Howl - a small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday