A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
8 August 2014 ~

Everyone is excited. It's nearly here. Vanishing spray will make its English debut in the Community Shield on Sunday. Let's just hope referees have been trained in the geomoetry of the spray arc and how to apply the correct amount of nozzle pressure.

Leon150Badge of the week ~ CD León de Huánuco, Peru
Spiderlion is a comic-book hero in Peru (known in the original Spanish as El Super Senor Arana-Leon de los Silvas de Huanuco, which means usually that at least two story boxes are taken up whenever he is referred to). For the purposes of brevity we will refer to Spiderlion here, the provenance of whose superpowers lay in the visit to an experimental science laboratory of a hungry lion, searching for scraps of food. In its hunt, the lion entered a Ray Box (this is a box in which scientists keep volatile rays that haven’t been passed as safe for experiments yet) which was also inhabited by a spider.

When the lion emerged it found it had the ability to walk up walls with its newly sticky paws and also land suddenly in people's hair. With its new powers, the lion started to fight crime and was instrumental in catching three criminals in ten years who had decided to flee the police by clambering up high buildings. The lion's effect on arrest rates was negligible but at least it was using its powers for good. Which is more than can be said for Prawnsquirrel. Cameron Carter



A gem in the online Pathé news archive. Chelsea's John Dempsey with surely the best hairstyle ever seen on a footballer.


Holland's new coaching team wonder why the photographer didn't look for a bigger bench.


from Keith Turner
"Celtic's use of Murrayfield this week gave the Guardian's reporter an opportunity to mention the Edinburgh festival, unfortunately."



Those who hoped that this tweet might start a public feud between Richard Keys and Gary Lineker have been disappointed, so far.



Also in the news this week
Some underhand brand-building by Real Madrid.
Royston Drenthe makes some new friends.
Micah Richards shanks one.

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