A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
18 April 2014 ~

"If you add the points that Bale earned us last season to what we have now we'd probably be challenging for the title," said Tim Sherwood earlier this week. After he leaves we can expect to hear that Tim's next job is teaching logic.

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SmilteneBadge of the week ~ FK Smiltene, Latvia
The Latvian folk tale, The Three Doves, tells of three white doves that belonged to a poor farmer in the beautiful but impoverished region of Smiltene. The three doves sense, somehow, that their master is very poor and determine to help him. The first dove decides to fly and fly until he finds a financial advisor offering a free start-up consultation. He returns two months later, exhausted and unsuccessful. The second dove thought it wasn't really their problem but the third dove rose with the sun one morning and flew into the poor farmer's window repeatedly until the man finally awoke.

Concussed but still sentient, the bird then performed an elaborate aerial mime intended to convey the concept of crop diversification. Finally, at the end of a four-hour cycle of mime followed by incorrect guess, the farmer divined the meaning in his dove's behaviour and immediately started up with a bit of flax in the top field. As the only flax producer in the district, the poor farmer soon prospered and was able to live well with his wife and family and doves for a very long time until the bottom fell out of flax. FK Smiltene celebrate altruistic labour and persistence to the cause in their crest. Cameron Carter

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from Phil Town
"Reading's Jem Karacan auctions his boots for charity. Sean 'Stalker' Morrison looks on."

Reading300

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Nice to see that childhood memories of watching cartoons on TV can still influence a match report, like this by the Sunday Mirror's Paul Jiggins.

Mel300

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from Jim Waterson
"Well done to the Accrington fans in the away end at York who discovered that their individual "Accrington Stanley" T-shirts could be easily rearranged."

Acc300

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For anyone who feels that football matches are best experienced in the vicinity of imposing slabs of concrete, there's a website you will want to browse.

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It's rare for an internet troll to have a clear sense of his own limitations.

Kompany300

 

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Also in the news this week
Gunnersaurus snubbed by Bacary Sagna.
Newcastle's Sunday Sun reacts to Alan Pardew's complaints that the local press are against him.
Substitute runs on to prevent a goal in an Iranian league game.

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