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16 August 2013 ~

David Moyes seems set on continuing traditions started by Alex Ferguson. This week he has been moaning about fixtures. If the pattern continues, next he will be ostentatiously tapping a watch from the 85th minute of a match onwards then having a major row over a racehorse.

thimp150Badge of the week ~ Thimphu City, Bhutan
In Bhutan, when a person "Russian-dances on the Beatle Cat's nose", it means that this person is in a state of natural ecstasy which will last for a limited time only before they inevitably remember the muscular promise of their own mortality.

So, for example, when the minutes of a recent meeting of the Thimphu Council's planning department note that "The Chief Architect’s personal eunuch stated that, like many others, he was Russian-dancing on the Beatle Cat’s nose to hear of the proposal for the refurbishment of the Eunuch, Vegan & Communist Drop-In Centre", he was recording his feeling of elation, tempered by recollection of his own and all other attendees' mortality.

If you ever watch a Bhutan sitcom, you will notice that the audience laughter on the soundtrack cuts off very quickly, even at the funniest bits, for the same reason. Thimphu City have adopted the phrase in image form to represent the joy the game of football gives us, followed on the journey home by the sudden thought that we will spend approximately 6,000 hours of our glimpse of light between eternal nothingness watching an essentially meaningless activity, not counting injury time. Cameron Carter



from Nathan Walker

"I am hoping this Elton Welsby story is not Wikipedia vandalism, because I would love it to be true."



from Ross Andrews

"I don't understand why dressing room access for TV cameras is reckoned to be a good thing. Besuited middle-aged men yelling at a row of sullen twentysomethings – you can get that in a call centre."



The mass launch of new kits is a good excuse to replay this item from German TV, in which a fashion designer offers some bold suggestions for Bundesliga clubs.


from Tom Kingsbury

"I noticed this on Sky Sports News' report of the recent Torquay v Wimbledon game. I'm not sure if they're trying to rub salt in the wounds, or perhaps the reporter is a bitter MK Dons fan."



Also in the news this week
Superstars turn out for Farnborough

"Glorious horseplay" at Chesterfield

Best not to timewaste after only six minutes


Get with the programme A match played this week in history


Oxford Utd v Cardiff City, August 16, 1978 League Cup first round, second leg

An ad-packed programme on flimsy paper sees Oxford manager Mick Brown getting his excuses in early, bemoaning that the early start in the League Cup means "50 per cent of the clubs taking part will be regarded as some sort of failure even before they have kicked a ball in their League programme". Happily for Brown, third division Oxford overcame second division Cardiff and became some sort of failure only at the hands of eventual winners Nottingham Forest in the third round.

Secretary Jim Hunt meanwhile aims to silence the "dismal Jimmies" among the support as the club hopefully "stands on the threshold of a brand new era" (they finished the season in 11th place). He also warns any juveniles planning to "commit ungentlemanly acts" that "by their actions shall the name of the club be judged". In heaven as on earth, no doubt. Either that, or they will be smitten with a dose of the dismal Jimmies.

Targeting the fan demographic The match ball sponsor for a coming game against Tranmere is Cotswold Erection Ltd. They don’t name building firms like that any more.

Result Oxford United 2 Cardiff City 1 (4-2 on aggregate) 

Attendance 4,760

Oxford Utd Burton, Doyle, Fogg, Briggs, McIntosh, Jeffrey, McGrogan, Taylor, Foley, Curran, Duncan. Sub: Seacole 
Cardiff City Healey, Thomas, Pethard, Campbell, Pontin, Larmour, Giles, Dwyer, Bishop, Went, Buchanan

Ian Plenderleith (with thanks to Martin Brodetsky)

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