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2 August 2013 ~

"I'm trying to bring players in that will blow people's minds," said Harry Redknapp at his press conference today. So that's Francis Jeffers and El Hadji Diouf, plus Christopher Samba again.

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Chunnam150Badge of the week ~ Chunnam Dragons, South Korea
In the Chunnam area of Korea, long ago and far away (although not far away if you lived in Korea), there lived two sailors. One of the sailors was brave, cheery of nature and hard-working. The other was the same but had little red shoes – this is how most people told them apart. One day, when they had finished sailing for a while, the two were throwing an anchor around in the forest. Anchor-tossing was a popular leisure pursuit for Korean sailors in these times, second only to mending bicycles.

On this fateful day, just as the first sailor had tossed the anchor, his friend was distracted by an egret and turned momentarily to view with wonder the long-necked and milky-white splendour of this shy creature. Needless to say, perhaps, this was the sailor with the red shoes. Anyway, the anchor thudded into the second sailor’s skull, killing him outright. The first sailor was so affected that he tried to drink away his guilt and grief every Friday and Saturday night, at first with cheap whiskey and subsequently with a New Zealand Cabernet Merlot, often accompanied by game pie and a blue cheese salad.

At a memorial service, the deceased sailor’s family had the anchor hoisted into the boughs of the nearest tree, where, it is said, no birds ever landed from that day forth. Squirrels were seen in the tree but then squirrels are matter-of-fact bastards. The anchor served as a warning to the community not to throw anchors to each other in areas visited by egrets and the club use it on their crest to represent brotherhood, comradeship and playing with your head up. Cameron Carter

 

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The Football League's new chief executive Shaun Harvey trained for the job from an early age, according to Wikipedia.

Harvey450

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Gerard Deulofeu's loan at Everton got off to a shaky start with his name being misspelled on the shirt. But then Gerard got a name wrong himself, on this quickly deleted tweet:

"Terminado el partido contra el Blackburn Roberts! 1 a 3. Mañana para USA. Buen torneo de pretemporada! Un abrazo grande a todos y un saludo."

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from David Meller
"I appreciate someone putting in the time making Arsène Wenger look like he's 'amusing' himself, but I think I'd feel dirty if I did so myself."

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from Peter Marques
"Andy Cole and Lee Sharpe break into Old Trafford but, uh-oh, they've been spotted. Should have got Teddy Sheringham involved – see if he and Cole could make a short film without speaking to each other."

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Man turns up for work – now a headline news story

Bale400

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Also in the news this week

Zlatan is not wearing a sports bra.
Edgar Davids is number one at Barnet.

Liverpool produce a guide to obscenities. They've left out all sorts.

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Get With The Programme

A past match played this week in history

Rangers prog 150

Rangers v Manchester City, August 3, 1981 Friendly
The programme addresses its readers in block caps, as though they are particularly deaf or dense old-age pensioners. "FOR CITY this is just the START of their big build-up," it explains. "FOR RANGERS tonight's game is the CLIMAX to the build-up for Saturday's opening League Cup fixture against Morton." Got that?

Although a sermon telling fans NOT TO BEHAVE LIKE NEANDERTHALS when City's black striker Dave Bennett was on the ball would have been more useful for much of the home support.

A profile of City manager John Bond observes that he is an "amiable but blunt-talking man" who, "like his spy-hero namesake, enjoys a rich life style with luxury cars, big cigars and expensive clothes." Funnily enough, James Bond also never won a senior honour in over two decades as a Football League manager. An advert shows us that Tennent Caledonian at this time produced no less than eight different brews of lager, making them "The LAGER leader". Got that?

Targeting the fan demographic "Embassy Regal and Regal King Size – Scotland's favourite". Middle tar tabs in patriotic blue packaging. 

Result Rangers 2 (Johnstone, Johnston), Manchester City 0. 

Crowd 22,500

Rangers Stewart, Jardine, Miller, Forsyth, Jackson, Redford, McLean, Russell, Johnstone, McAdam, Johnston. Subs: Dawson, Cooper, McKay. Man City (from) Corrigan, Ranson, McDonald, Reid, Power, Caton, Bennett, Henry, Mackenzie, Hutchison, Gow, Reeves, Tueart , O'Neill

Ian Plenderleith

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