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19 August 2011 ~
As a sportswear retailer Mike Ashley will know more than most about why clubs are constantly changing their strips, with away kits especially prone to being messed about with. Newcastle, for example, will be wearing orange when they play at Sunderland tomorrow. Even though both sides have sometimes worn change kits for this fixture, it still seems absurd that rivals who have been playing each other for over 100 years should wear anything other than their regular colours. It's almost as if Ashley's main concern is his profits. Imagine that. Update – turns out Newcastle actually wore their home kit. But we stand by the point
Badge of the week ~ FC Seoul, South Korea
This badge is based on an awkward moment experienced by its designer at a reception held at the K-League president's gilded mansion. At first, with the champagne and conversation flowing, he was in sparkling form, but then matters deteriorated for him. A jealous rival, annoyed that the designer had become the go-to guy for K-League logos, fixed it that the canapés he was offered contained slices of hallucinogenic mushroom. It was hoped that the designer would "freak out", as the youngsters say, and permanently damage his reputation in the eyes of the uptight football folk.
Sure enough, while in mid chat, the designer suddenly saw the face of X Factor runner-up Olly Murs with serpents for hair appear in the chandeliers above him and shortly thereafter has to be taken home by an old lady who used to be a nurse and put to bed. Happily he didn't feel compelled to tear at his clothes and scream and so was able to pass off the discomfort as the effects of a dicky tummy. The reimagining of this low point in his life is employed as FC Seoul's motif to remind each player to be prepared for the unexpected, on and off the pitch. Cameron Carter
from David Carrington
"A friend is moving into a new flat soon and he's considering one of these for the living room – I've a feeling that he may become infected by the spirit of 1990s lad culture as a result. But if he starts saying 'Good work fella' on a regular basis we will stage a destructive intervention for his own good."
from Trevor Lawson
"The new film One Day is supposedly going to be the romantic slushfest of the decade – this summer's Titanic – but a full-length version of this tribute to Cesc Fàbregas might overshadow it."
Still on Cesc, it didn't take long for Ebay merchants to react to his big move. Quite pricey for a bit of redaubing even if it is, for once, a good likeness.
from Peter Blake
"Just in case you haven't been made aware of west London football's latest attempt at social inclusion."
from Jon Millard
"I always had a soft spot for Grzegorz Rasiak, and hoped he would do well. Sadly, it seems a Spurs fan spotted a tiny detail which derailed his shot at the big time."
Harry Redknapp hates being described as a wheeler dealer. Yet here he is living up to the archetype in an advert for Sky's Fantasy Football. It's almost as if he doesn't know what he's doing from one day to the next.
Getting shirty Notable kits of yesteryear
Queens Park Rangers away, 1992-93
Popularly referred to as the "Dennis the Menace" shirt, QPR's red and black hooped second strip has been revisited several times over the years, in between experiments in plain red, dark blue, red and white or red and black halves, white with red and black pinstripe hoops, and a vile yellow and black number that was the marketing department's idea of bringing Rangers and then tenants Wasps RFC closer together. Because it follows the same template as the classic home blue and white hoops, and nods to the softy-bothering Beano favourite, this shirt is still sported in numbers around Loftus Road. Alas, when Neil Warnock's charges take to the road this term, it will be in either a curious orange number, or a Dancing on Ice red and black quartered effort.
Nineteen years ago, in the inaugural Premier League, this particular version, trumpeting a brief and uneasy flirtation with Classic FM, was worn by Ray Wilkins, Andy Sinton and Les Ferdinand. The latter scored 20 league goals and won his first England cap as Rangers finished top London club and fifth in the table. Ferdinand managed two hat-tricks over Easter weekend, as Forest at home and Everton at Goodison were beaten 4-3 and 5-3 respectively. After 16 and 24 goals in subsequent seasons Les was sold to Newcastle. Danny Dichio and Kevin Gallen struggled for goals and the team was relegated 12 months later, beginning a 15-year exile from the top flight that was only broken in May. Jamie Sellers