A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
14 October 2016 ~
So, after all the clamour to drop Wayne Rooney, England went on to grind out a 0-0 draw in Slovenia without him in the starting lineup. It's almost as if the problems go deeper than one player.
Badge of the week ~ Security Systems XI, Botswana
What you see here is not an original idea but a compromise. The first idea was a man in a prison cell, clutching the bars and screaming, with the logo Do Not Loiter In Retail Parks. The image was thought to have a high impact but the logo seemed, to the club, to be a little bit off the mark. The next suggestion, a CCTV camera trained on an inner-city car park, was felt to have very high relevance, but less immediate impact. Focus groups shown this draft gave feedback to the effect that it lacked a sense of joy.
The third idea, the last to be rejected, was an image of a security guard rampant, holding his utility kit tactical belt stretched above his head in triumph. At his feet is the crumpled figure of a youth with an aerosol can close to his twitching hand. The motto here was to be Can I Help You? Finally, with the deadline date approaching, the club went for a much cheaper option: the team's initials with a football, just two colours. The club motto, All Systems Go, was selected by a mongoose with a pool cue. Cameron Carter
Tony Yeboah's brother is happy to work anonymously.
Jordan Henderson needs to work on his "no look" passing.
AFC Wimbledon move above MK Dons for the first time.
Meanwhile Norwich United only got promoted to the Isthmian League this season .
from Sarah Choonara
"FA to introduce rulebook for walking football. But if there was a Walking World Cup, would we qualify?"
Also in the news this week
Christian Benteke scores the fastest goal in a World Cup qualifier
El Clásico not live in UK
Norwich keepers' training goes viral
Diego Maradona and Juan Sebastián Verón clash at "peace" match