A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

5 February 2016 ~

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Pep Guardiola says that managers "get no respect whatsoever in the world". He clearly hasn't read the UK press fawning over him this week.

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Chico150Badge of the week ~ Deportivo Boyacá Chicó, Colombia
The Boyacá Chicó area, in the olden days, was quite a dangerous place to live, what with roaming bandits and cut-throats and people who could steal your identity just by copying your hair. For this reason, it was important for the Castle Boyacá Chicó’s front door to be kept shut and locked at all times. Communications and security technology was not so advanced in these early days and authorised visitors to the castle had to alert a member of staff to let them in by jumping into a moat in full armour.

Even then, when the staff arrived at the front door, the sodden visitor had to show the correct documentation to gain ingress. However, around the latter part of the 14th century, many of the people of the region were attracted to work in neighbouring settlements because of the introduction of an extra feast day that was never acknowledged in their home town. Consequently, the castle was forced to employ younger people on work experience and it happened more and more frequently, as procedures lapsed and daily practises were left undone, that the castle front door was found unlocked or even swinging open in the morning.

Finally, the castle was taken by a small group of Venezuelans who had only rolled up in the middle of night to ask directions to the border. This crest is a reminder of the perils of this kind of lapse and, ever since, the region has been very tight on security, to the point where one has to show one’s birth certificate and driving license just to get into a linen party. Cameron Carter

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from Andrew Walker
"Aberdeen’s win over Celtic this week has got the i paper’s reporter a bit over-excited."

Aberdeen400

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Quite a scoop for Sky as they get José Mourinho’s dramatic reaction to Pep Guardiola joining Manchester City.

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from Graham Menzies
“Having  been on Linkedin for a while without finding any use for it, I’m pleased to see that it can be a way to find a new right-back.”

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from Huw Richards
"Liverpool's defensive woes explained?"

Marshmallow300

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Wycombe manager Gareth Ainsworth can honestly say that he didn’t touch Plymouth counterpart Derek Adams last Saturday but that’s some very vigorous hand-clasping.

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Also in the news this week
Fabian Delph snubbed
Peterborough inspired by The Revenant
AC Milan unveiled a huge tribute to… Mark "Attila" Hateley
Greek players stage protest in support of refugees

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