A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
8 May 2015 ~
It's an outcome no one would have predicted a month ago and we're still trying to work out how it could have happened: Nigel Pearson has won five out of his last six games.
Badge of the week ~ Liberty Professionals FC, Ghana
Some of us will be reminded here of the scene in The Office in which David Brent is hired to give a motivational speech to a small group of salespeople in a cramped seminar room, choosing to mark his entrance with a recording of Tina Turner’s Simply The Best. One of the public services Ricky Gervais’ comedy performed was to shame people who may have been thinking of using this song as a motivational tool into not using it and, in extreme cases, actually questioning the efficacy of team-building sessions within small bureaucratic departments consisting wholly of low-paid job-hoppers and late-middle-aged women dreaming of retirement.
Liberty FC, however, see no problem with taking Turner’s preposterous anthem of romantic sycophancy and using it as their club motto. The lyric includes the line “In your heart I see the star of every night and every day”, a statement which manages to contain recognisable nouns, verbs and a possessive pronoun in perfectly acceptable semantic order without creating any meaning. Using a song such as this as a clarion call does not mark your team out as Simply The Best. It does, however, mark it out as culturally feeble-minded. Cameron Carter
from Craig Jordan
“I’ve nothing against North Shields but now find myself hoping that they don’t score at Wembley.”
Mobile network Three announces it has become the official fans sponsor of North Shields FC ahead of their historic trip to Wembley for the FA Vase on May 9, 2015.
As part of the sponsorship, North Shields will become the first football team to crowd source its celebration. In a chance to offer their very own celebratory master class, fans will be able to contribute their moves on Twitter, which will be complied by a choreographer and executed by the team when they score at Wembley.
Anyone wishing to submit to the celebration can do so through @NorthShieldsFC and using the hashtag #ThreeConnects.
New crowd control methods at Liverpool.
The worst half-and-half scarf yet.
Notts County have some bad news for a supporter.
The Finnish league takes on a satisfying symmetry.