THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

12 March ~ During England v Egypt last week, Clive Tyldesley talked mockingly about Mohamed Zidan's father/agent having the gall to suggest that the player was a target of both Manchester United and Barcelona. Tyldesley's reaction was something along of the lines of "My dad thinks that Manchester United and Barcelona want to sign me too". Imagine my delight when, only minutes later, Zidan gave Egypt the lead. And it was genuine delight – the fortunes of the national team were secondary to Tyldesley being embarrassed.

In England's opening match of Euro 2004, after leading for most of the game against France, Tydesley's gloating became so unbearable that I found myself hoping for a French equaliser, just to teach him a lesson. Of course, France ruined it for both of us by scoring twice in the dying minutes to win the game.

Can I request that Clive Tyldesley just commentates on the match, as he is paid to do, rather than mocking the aspirations of a footballer who was talented enough to score twice against Brazil in the Confederations Cup last year? And please, Clive, you don't have to tell us how happy we are when England win and how sad we are when they lose. Likewise, gloating about victories before they actually happen has a terrible habit of making one look like a fool, not that you need much help in that department. If you could at least remember to adhere to these rules when there is a player named Zidan(e) involved, it would be a start. From Gavin Duenas

Taken from this week's WSC Weekly Howl

Comments (5)
Comment by tratorello 2010-03-13 09:40:51

I'm not entirely sure I agree with "assisted suicide" but for Mr Tyldesley I'd be willing to make an exception.

Comment by placedetine 2010-03-13 23:10:17

I'm not familiar with Mr Tyldesley, the original entity (other than, I think, his clone in EA Sports games, which is bad enough). But I know plenty of German commentators who have driven me away from the national team more then even the "Shame of Gijon" of '82, a.k.a. the 'non-aggression pact between Anschluss powers' or Schumacher's manslaughter attempt later in the tournament (both, of course, accompanied by tepid or non-comments from team and entourage).
Don't know why, but the inability to be at least somewhat objective once 'your' team is involved still leaves me puzzled.

Comment by MSC79 2010-03-14 11:52:02

The patronising reaches a zenith whenever a certain Manchester team are playing - during the Champions League last week, Clive even managed to make an albeit poor Milan side sound as though they had never played football before.

Having spent the entire game telling us how poor Milan were, we were then assured by Clive and the Gang that United must now be considered firm favourites to lift the trophy on the back of their 4-0 win.

Sickening.

Comment by MrRossatron1980 2010-03-14 21:04:33

http://clivetyldesleyisacunt.co.uk/

Says it all really. Moronic and blissfully ignorant.

Comment by green_rhino 2010-03-15 09:34:59

Gratuitously offensive and incredibly funny!!

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