THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

6 May 2016 ~

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Even the BBC now begin a story about Middlesbrough v Brighton this weekend with the amount of money promotion to the Premier League is worth. So we can't be far away from having a financial analyst on the sofa of Match of the Day. They could examine how much each defeat costs the billionaire owners, or what a throw-in means for share prices in the FTSE index.

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Haka150Badge of the week ~ FC Haka, Finland
“Sleeping badger” is a very versatile Finnish expression that can cover a variety of meanings. For example, in urban areas, the expression is used to convey the speaker’s unwillingness to do something. For example: “Are you going to Ernest’s 40-minute lunch for his 60th birthday?” “Which one’s Ernest?” “The big guy from Human Resources – clears his throat a lot. Cleans his ears with a pen.” “I’ll travel there on my sleeping badger.” The second person here will not be attending the lunch.

Alternatively, in rural areas, the term “sleeping badger” is used more commonly to mean something that you might come across, but not remark upon, because your companion would not consider it worthy of mention. In the Finnish play Dancing With Serpents But In A Nice Way, the main protagonist and her husband fall to arguing at a picnic:
“Ah… how the light plays upon the river like a thousand dancing eyes.” “Sleeping badger.”

“How dare you – how can a person who says ‘Shall we dance?’ absolutely whenever he bumps into someone, possibly claim to notice the subtle poetry of light playing on the river and I have to listen to you banging on about your urinary infection five hours a day. How dare you Sleeping Badger me!”

This proves to be a turning-point in the couple’s relationship – only two scenes later she has taken a lover and he spends the whole of Act Three in the toilet. Haka, however, use the Sleeping Badger motif’s third meaning of something strong and mysterious that is dormant. Cameron Carter

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Martinez Out” is a not a message you’d expect to see on a screen outside Goodison Park.

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from Phil Ball
“It's not just the goal (Lowland League Cup first round, Stirling University v East Kilbride) which is possibly the greatest (or silliest) of all time, but the commentator's reactions: ‘We'll see if he meant that one in the morning.’”

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Is Ben Seymour-Shove the best-named player to have scored a decisive goal in a non-League play-off this week? Could be. (The local paper singled him out as a match-winner in advance.)

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Gary Lineker won’t care about being reminded of this old tweet.

LinekerLeicester500

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This summer’s Copa América is being staged in the US. Argentinian TV has identified someone who could help promote it.

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Also in the news this week
Arsène is unimpressed with Arsenal fans’ performance
Faustino Asprilla joins the ultras at Parma
Shaquille O'Neal celebrates Northampton's promotion with a song

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