THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

19 February 2016 ~

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Ahead of this weekend's FA Cup fifth round, there's once again been talk of scrapping Cup replays in an attempt to reduce the fixture burden on the top clubs. As if the FA would ever tamper with its traditions for the benefit of a few. Who could ever imagine such a thing?

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Ulsan150Badge of the week ~ Ulsan Hyundai Mipo Dockyard Dolphin FC, South Korea
The Ulsan Mipo water sprite is known for its magical powers that it uses to create mischief. A bit like the Irish leprechaun but with a different sense of humour. For example, there is a story of the sprite visiting a king and queen who could not have children and riddling them thus: "If you can answer my riddles two, A child will sure be born to you." He had agonised for some time about the meaningless "sure" in the second line but it helped the thing scan. “What has a coat but no umbrella?” asked the sprite first.

The king and queen consulted for a long time in fevered whispers and eventually answered "a horse, or an E-grade civil servant". The sprite graciously accepted their first answer and asked his final riddle: "What has a mistress among the kitchen girls and goes to see her on Wednesday afternoons when he says he is meeting with the Privy Council because he knows the very phrase 'Privy Council' bores his wife into a state of absolute incuriousness."

This created a bit of a scene and the sprite was banished from the land and left forthwith, but not before putting a curse on the king’s cured ham so that it tasted like you were eating it straight after brushing your teeth. Ulsan Mipo have the sprite in their crest because it is a quick thinker and mover and also incredibly easy to draw. Cameron Carter

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A League Two centre-half in the making.

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Malaysia’s goal of the season competition is a cinch.

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from Tim Manns
"I know it is a long way from Mansfield to Plymouth but there must be at least one toilet block."

Mansfield300

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It's nice to see Keith Hill putting on his best clothes to welcome Grant Holt back to Rochdale.

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from Mike Priestley
"As this Turkish keeper discovered last weekend, even if you keep your eye on the ball, things can still go wrong."

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Barry Thornton
“I suppose the thinking behind starting a match report like this is that Leicester are having a fairytale season. Not sure that quite comes off, though.”

Wolf150

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Also in the news this week
Uruguayan FA doesn’t like parodies
Tim Sherwood for Manchester United?
Joleon Lescott’s phone takes on a mind of its own
Arsenal fan gets celebration hernia

 

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