THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

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30 October 2015 ~ 

Leeds owner Massimo Cellino is threatening to leave the club after being banned by the League again over a tax conviction in Italy. He says: "Every night I lie awake asking myself: 'Am I good enough?'" The answer, Massimo, is no. Go back to sleep.

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Banbridge150Badge of the week ~ Banbridge Town, Northern Ireland
In Banbridge they have a festival on the first Sunday in March celebrating the inventor of the home gym. SL Donleavy was known to everyone in 19th century Banbridge by his initials, SLD, although some who knew him well found he would respond to just the first two initials, SL, as in: “Is this your package you’ve dropped here on the road, SL?” The doctor on his stag night once tried just “S”, but Donleavy became tearful, explaining that only one person in the world had ever called him just “S”, a pale-skinned, delicate woman who was always in a terrible hurry. 

Anyway, Donleavy, by the age of 40, had put on weight and was heard by his neighbours to be at it with the carpentry all hours. Finally he produced the mechanism seen in the bottom of the crest, the first exercise bicycle (note the solitary wheel – Donleavy had been initially experimenting with an exercise unicycle but was forced to abandon the project owing to injury. The finished version shown here has a backrest for safety and support).

Almost immediately everybody in town had one, although, strangely, no one seemed to become any fitter. Other of his early home gym inventions – the Big Spiky Metal Thing, the 20 Kilo Teardrop and the Wheatsheaf Dumbbell – are also depicted here but were not so readily adopted. Cameron Carter

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The Wombles are always a useful fallback for reporters on Wimbledon games.

York-Womble500

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Joe Haining

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What would you call new boots which "will chronicle Ronaldo's history from his childhood up until now"? Savage Beauty? That'll do.

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So you’re having a dream about being trapped in a football stadium then you wake up and

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Andrea Pirlo succeeds in protecting his post.

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from Phil Ball
“Javier Mascherano got a two game ban for shouting an obscenity at a referee that referred to his mother’s genitalia (‘La concha de tu madre’) during Barcelona's recent game with Eibar. Barça, fearful that he would get four games and therefore miss the Clásico, appealed the decision by alleging that Mascherano had actually referred to the ref’s sister’s genitalia (‘La concha de tu hermana’). That's OK then.”

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Also in the news this week
Referee held hostage in Trabzon
PA swearing at Bournemouth
A Twente goal celebration no one will want to steal…
and one that would be too difficult to copy, from Venezuela

 

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