THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

23 October 2015 ~

Sheikh Salman of Bahrain, who campaigners accuse of "crimes against humanity", says that he is being urged to stand for the FIFA presidency "by a growing number of senior football administrators". He's done well to find any that aren't suspended.

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Tunisia150Badge of the week ~ Tunisia
In Tunisia, the Bad-Tempered Herring-Gull is a standard character in folklore and, indeed, everyday conversation. There is the tale of The Slightly Cursed Princess, in which the Bad-Tempered Herring-Gull appears at the christening of a new princess and really quite spoils the atmosphere. Thereafter, whenever the young princess attempts to use a French phrase in conversation, such as “joie de vivre”, she uses a German accent to emphasise it. As a result of this she is not married until the age of 42.  

Tunisian parents will commonly address the reproach “What would the Bad-Tempered Herring-Gull say?” to poorly behaved children. In The Prince & The Shitty Seabird the prince disturbs the gull’s sleep by declaiming love poetry on a lonely cliff path. The Bad-Tempered Herring-Gull’s subsequent invective ends with a foul-mouthed refutation of the prince’s artless reliance on the medial caesura that brings parents from miles away hurrying out to gather their children into their homes.

The Bad-Tempered Herring-Gull is depicted on Tunisia’s crest to remind players that, if they don’t play well out there, they’ll very likely get told off at half-time. Cameron Carter

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Mossley’s new mascot, getting by without a mouth.

Mossley275

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from Liam Wilkinson
“It’ll need a brave person to take the latest vacancy at Sheffield Wednesday, given the criticism their ticket policy has received this season.”

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from Tom Acey
“Finally, someone has written a song about ex-Man City and Celtic striker John Guidetti, with a video that showcases some of his outrageous skills along with some near-post-tap-in filler. It's currently number 15 in the Swedish charts.”

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There won’t be a better goal scored by a Stevenage keeper this season.

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Also in the news this week
Fan runs the line at Newport
Schweinsteiger sues over Nazi doll
Giggs and Neville help the homeless
UAE player jailed for criticising his coach

 

 

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