THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
12 December 2014 ~

Among the five matches chosen by the BBC and BT Sport for the live FA Cup third round games are Everton v West Ham and Arsenal v Hull. The clubs will welcome those match fees of £144,000, which will make a major contribution towards the weekly pay packet of one, or possibly even two, players.

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Cham150Badge of the week ~ SC Cham, Switzerland
Mention the Dancing Mouse to anyone in the canton of Zug, Switzerland and their face will betray a strange and childish delight, even if they’re a dentist. This is because every child growing up in this part of the country is told the story of the Dancing Mouse and, in particular, the Dancing Mouse’s habit of dancing. The Dancing Mouse had other habits (eating excrement, scurrying around in sewers) but the one that really captured the public’s imagination was the dancing.

If you were very lucky and very good, it was said, you might discover the Dancing Mouse in the act of dancing, on a night of a wild and glowing moon, in the darkest depths of the forest. Alternatively, if you weren’t particularly lucky or good, you might discover him eating excrement by a storm drain in the commercial district. Whosever saw the Dancing Mouse in the act of dancing, it was said would encounter great good fortune and wealth or at the very least manage a small chemists.

Those who encountered him just after the dancing, however, reported him as grouchy and eager to get away. Whatever his faults, the Dancing Mouse of Zug canton represents a careless joie de vivre that is wholly reflected in SC Cham’s football and Christmas parties. Cameron Carter

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from Phil Ball

“Good to see Athletic Bilbao contributing to the agricultural sector of the economy in the Basque Country.

Farm400

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In the Sun’s report on the Christmas party brawl between QPR and Crystal Palace, Charlie Austin is merely an “unnamed man”. His agent should complain about that.

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Meanwhile the QPR squad need to work on their lip-synching.

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It's amazing how a Cup draw can change the FA's views on what's "in the wider interests of football".

Wimbledon400

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from Duncan Nisbet

“A punning start to the Mirror’s report on Arsenal’s victory at Galatasaray. Not good exactly but the effort should be acknowledged.”

Arsenal300

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Also in the news this week
Steaua Bucharest lose their identity
José Mourinho, of all people, complains about time-wasting
Ben Foster’s scary double

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