THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
7 November 2014 ~

Since being suggested as England's candidate to be FIFA vice-president, Rio Ferdinand has been banned for three matches by the FA for an offensive tweet. Now he will have more free time to concentrate on lobbying for his vital new role.

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CuracaoBadge of the week ~ Curacao
The national team of Curacao is represented traditionally by the Pregnant Women’s Floating Choir of Curacao. A very important institution on the island, it was, arguably, the first floating choir in the Caribbean. The choir was formed in 1848, the year that Curacao’s military dictator banned choirs as they were breeding grounds for dissent and malicious gossip, not to mention the fact that he was irritated by how wide they opened their mouths when singing in public, and it became immediately illegal to assemble for the purpose of singing, punishable by one year in prison or 24 hours with a song-and-dance man.

And yet the people wanted to sing – they had to sing – partly to praise God and His creation and partly to avoid talking to each other. Then one day, while the military dictator was relaxing in his private chambers, he heard drifting to him through the twilight the harmonious strains of a well-known folk song, clearly performed by a small group of people.



Furious, he ordered the offenders to be arrested, but his secret police immediately ran into legal difficulties making the arrest when they encountered three pregnant women on a jolly-boat. Not being on land, the women were safe from prosecution and when they continued to sing with their mouths not ostentatiously wide open, they won over the dictator and he repudiated the ban. From that day, the Pregnant Women’s Floating Choir has represented the potential strength of the people through organisation, especially with the backing of sound legal advice. Cameron Carter

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from John Dewhirst
“From a travelling stall in Lister Park, Bradford in August. We can assume that it’s not been to Norfolk.”

Nowrich400

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If you are in need a customised Vauxhall van, David James is selling his to help clear a bankruptcy.

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from Paul Sandham
"I don’t know what’s more surprising about the Anderson fridge magnet on sale on Ebay – that it’s described as a ‘top selling product’ or that two people have actually bought one.”

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Cristiano Ronaldo and his underpants cake. This will be flying off the shelves at Christmas.

RonPants400

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The new Indian Super League generates worldwide attention – for the worst shot of the year.

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Also in the news this week
A ghost goal in Belgium

Leon Osman: rapper

How to describe a boring game

Liverpool fans do the plane banner thing

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