A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
21 March 2014 ~

This weekend sees Arsène Wenger's 1,000th game in charge of Arsenal. He is to be presented with a special pair of glasses that will enable him to see incidents involving his own players.

PartickThistleBadge of the week ~ Partick Thistle
England has as its national flower the rose, Sri Lanka has the water lily, China, the peony. Scotland has a prickly, purplish weed. The thistle – dour, austere, ruiner of a Nice Sit Down. It is as if Scotland is saying to the world: "You can come here if you like, but don’t expect a big welcome. I have to be up at five." They have salt on their porridge you know. Not sugar, or Golden Syrup. Or molasses. Salt.

With their crest, Partick Thistle take up the acetic theme with gusto and lay it on the line for us. This image suggests that visitors can expect no cossetting and that the people in this area distrust the pursuit of comfort in all its forms. The beds round here come without pillows, there is no such thing as a keyboard wrist-rest and, while they do have teabags, you have to make the cup of tea in your hand. There is no impulse to rest the eye here, or drift off into reverie. The Partick badge asks us, visually, to move on and be about our business. Cameron Carter


In the kitchen with Gary Neville: "You just stick it in and when it comes out dry you eat it." He'll have a cookery show on BBC2 before the end of the year.


from Chris Rogers
"Are you fan enough for Manchester City? Becoming an "entry-level Memberships Executive" would be worth a line in a CV, I suppose."


The phone-hacking trial is an unexpected source of career advice for Titus Bramble.



We've been saying for a while that someone really should combine the recent history of Liverpool with an easy to follow guide to key developments in hip hop. Well, now they have.


from Michael Thompson

"Tim Sherwood's passionate gilet disposal got plenty of coverage this week. But what else does Tim plan on chucking to show much he cares? He'll have to start wearing extra layers of coats or a variety of hats (a fez first, then maybe a stetson)."


Some rather lax defending leads to FC United's second goal in their win against Kings Lynn Town.


Also in the news this week
The best goal scored in Jordan last weekend.
Paper bag protest in Mexico.

Italian player gets twee stomach tattoos of former clubs.

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