THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

29 March ~ A regular feature in the early years of WSC was a "classic team photo" from football's past. This one comes from issue 12 (January 1988)

Heroes Of Socialist Labour (Dynamo Kiev, 1975)

Key features:

1) The players' hair is either soaking wet or a tad on the oily side. This is either because: a) their rigorous training schedule incorporates a breaststroke relay across the Caspian Sea every weekday afternoon, or b) a wily member of the squad (my guess would be second left, middle row), has acquired the Ukraine's entire supply of salad dressing for a five-year period and re-sold it to his mates on the pretext that it is the absolute last word in trendy Western hair-gel.

2) Every team has a dressing-room funny man, and the joker in the Kiev pack is clearly visible (third from right, front row), captured whilst in the process of making a rude, but amusing gesture. His sense of fun is obviously not to everyone's taste, judging by the reaction of adjacent team-mates.

3) The fact that the team are kitted out in rather dingy tracksuits, which were out of date when the Mensheviks were still a going concern, suggests that the groundstaff may have done a runner with the playing-kit, which they will doubtless attempt to press upon bewildered tourists in exchange for Pink Floyd tapes. Note, as further evidence, the rather unkempt state of the terracing directly behind the players.

4) The tall, thoughtful figure in the middle of the back row, having detected a strong aroma of vinegar, has just had his suspicions aroused further by the chance discovery of some water-cress in his eyebrows.

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