Weekly Howl 28-09-12
A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
28 September 2012 ~
Badge of the week ~ Al Jazeera Sports Club, Libya
This one's not immediately obvious. It would be probably easiest to explain it in terms of the Libyan creation myth of the Overeating Fish who one day swims into colder waters and catches a very slight head cold, the only symptom of which is an intermittent ticklish cough which, on the morning of creation, irritates its windpipe just at the precise time that the Overeating Fish is swallowing some post-jentacular algae, causing it to emit, in crumb-form, the whole of the world from its mouth. The crumbs of creation are swept by great winds to the four corners of the earth, where they set up nation states and take varying amounts of time to distinguish public lavatories by gender.
The Book of Creation is subsequently written in words of fire by the Son of the Overeating Fish, but unfortunately, him being underwater means that this is an ultimately unsuccessful project. Fortunately, however, the Younger Son of the Overeating Fish foresees this problem and leaves the ocean in a Coat of Amphibiousness (symbolised by the button resting on the book) to create words of fire that won't go out. Thus is the history of the creation of the world branded indelibly forever. Al Jazeera use the image of this myth because it was the last creation myth left by the time the club had formed, owing to the fact that it is, visually at least, preposterous. Cameron Carter
from Mark Holme
"This new Boca Juniors-themed hotel 'mainly draws young Brazilian couples and Argentine families rather than soccer hooligans', which is just as well."
A new merchandise idea from Germany – a tank in club colours. This one parks outside the referee's house on the day before he takes charge of a Schalke game.
Capital One are employing Chris Kamara to promote their sponsorship of the League Cup this season. Really, they needn't have bothered. At least he didn't use his catchphrase.
from Brad Woodhouse
"Aston Villa gave this refreshing response to recent comments from porn magnate David Sullivan – a welcome antidote to anodyne PR platitudes."
from Chris Heath
"Barnet's new signing Collins John has his detractors according to Wikipedia."
This week in history ~ Premier League, September 29, 2007
An early goal from Robin van Persie secured the points for Arsène Wenger's most cosmopolitan Arsenal side to date. There were no British players among the 14 who played at West Ham and only two, Theo Walcott and Justin Hoyte, started league matches; Mark Randall made one substitute appearance. Arsenal stayed top, barring a couple of weeks, until late March. After 2-1 away defeats to challengers Chelsea and Man Utd in the run-in, they finished third.
Man Utd's goal at Birmingham came from Cristiano Ronaldo who went on to be the Premier League's top scorer with 31 goals, equalling Alan Shearer's record total for a 38-match season. United went into the final game level on points with Chelsea but with a much better goal difference. They clinched the tile with a 2-0 win at Wigan while Chelsea could only draw at home to Bolton.
United commemorated the 50th anniversary of the Munich air disaster in February 2008 and wore a 1950s-style kit for the Manchester derby at Old Trafford on February 10. City, then owned by Thaksin Shinawatra, won that game 2-1 but were to finish ninth after losing their final match 8-1 at Middlesbrough. Nonetheless, they got a UEFA Cup place through the Fair Play League. Shortly after the Boro debacle, Mark Hughes took over as manager from Sven-Göran Eriksson.
Portsmouth's 7-4 win over Reading was the first 11-goal game in the top division since Fulham beat Ipswich 10-1 on Boxing Day 1963. Trailing 2-1 at half-time, Reading levelled through Dave Kitson three minutes into the second half then collapsed. Zimbabwean striker Benjani Mwaruwari got a hat-trick, Sulley Muntari scored Portsmouth's seventh in the 90th minute. Reading's fourth in injury-time was a Sol Campbell own-goal.
Portsmouth went on to finish eighth, their high League position since 1954-55. They also won the FA Cup, beating Cardiff 1-0 in the final with a goal from Nwankwo Kanu. Man Utd, beaten 1-0 at Old Trafford in the last eight, were Portsmouth's only Premier League opponents during their run. Barnsley, who lost in the semi-final to Cardiff, had earlier beaten both Liverpool and Chelsea.
Reading were involved in another high-scoring game, a 6-4 defeat at Tottenham at the end of December. This was the start of an eight-match losing run that dropped them into the bottom three. Despite a 4-0 victory at Derby on the final day, Steve Coppell's side went down on goal difference because rivals Fulham won at… Portsmouth.
Derby finished on 11 points, 24 adrift of second-bottom Birmingham, and set a top-flight record of 32 games without a win; Kenny Miller was their top scorer with four goals. The replacement of manager Billy Davies with Paul Jewell in November didn't improve matters.
On the subject...