THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday

4 December 2015 ~ 

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FIFA's latest big idea is to scrap their 24-person executive committee, previously responsible for voting on World Cup hosting, in favour of a 36-member FIFA Council. Because a 50 per cent increase in first-class flights and five-star hotels is exactly what you need to root out a culture of entitlement.

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Korhogo150Badge of the week ~ CO de Korhogo, Ivory Coast
The X-rayed Duck of Ivory Coast is not a well-known figure globally – indeed the 2008 Hollywood film The Fantastic Four Take On The X-Ray Duck Between Visits To Radiology did poor business, especially as it was up against There Will Be Blood and Kung Fu Panda. Yet in the Ivory Coast, the X-Rayed Duck is a key reference point for anyone discussing breakthroughs in veterinary diagnosis or general hypochondria. 

In some tales, the X-rayed Duck insists on further investigation of stomach pains until he is finally x-rayed, revealing nothing out of the ordinary. It is later revealed that he has been eating discarded cigarette butts through sheer aquatic nihilism. Another time he is x-rayed for a persistent fizzing sound in his head which turns out to be the sound of his contact lens cleaner working as he sleeps. Once he really did become poorly after swallowing two vegan samosas (pictured) and he nearly died owing to the understandable apathy of his nearest radiology department.

It is not known why the X-rayed Duck features so prominently in the country’s folklore or why it appears on Korhogo’s badge, but it may be because he lived to great old age simply through believing he was dying at every twinge or spell of heartburn. He is perhaps a symbol of longevity and inventiveness that any team might aspire to. Cameron Carter

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from Carl Jones
Kevin Keegan finally outs himself as a Plymouth fan (he could always fulfil a dream of his six-year-old self by giving us a helping hand).”

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The latest indignity for Leeds supporters – a mandatory £5 pie tax on tickets.

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Tattooing trends among footballers reach a new level of absurdity.

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China’s top ten fouls of 2015.

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Also in the news this week
Steve McClaren mocked by Sunderland fan
Charlton’s “two per cent” in revolt
Liverpool top the table – in agents’ fees

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