THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
20 March 2015 ~

The Premier League stars taking part in the big match at Anfield this Sunday will be heartened by the presence at the match of Pelé. He's there as the representative of a sandwich company, "Liverpool's official training food partner". Take note Luke and Raheem, if you perform well enough, these are the sort of opportunities that will be open to you.

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Beijing150Badge of the week ~ Beijing Enterprises Holdings FC, China
The result of a 2015 name change from Beijing Baxy United FC, this is one of the less stirring, loyalty-inducing club names. They’ve thrown an eagle at the problem because otherwise the main image on the badge is going to have to be the contemporarily stylish reception area of a steel-and-glass office building.

Which would be quite acceptable, except that, with the necessarily compact nature of the image on a shirt badge, one wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the marriage of design and pragmatism that goes into many office reception areas. Bearing in mind that it is fine to have innovation and artistry in one’s vision but the receptionist should be able to see visitors at all times and let’s not forget about wheelchair access and deliveries. Because so many of these trendy new companies with their Staff Climbing Frames, Elvis Costello Areas and Walk-Through Mirrors forget about delivery drivers having to navigate through the room to hand over six boxes of hand-towels.

Anyway, Beijing Enterprise Holdings’ fans are notable for having one of the least rousing chants in the Chinese game, namely: “Beijing Enterprise Holdings, The Profit Attributable To Shareholders Of The Company Is Up 6.3 Per Cent In The Last Financial Quarter.” Which rhymes and scans in Mandarin Chinese if you want to check. Cameron Carter

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from Steve Johnston

“Following on from last week’s revelations about Steven Gerrard’s football statue theme park, he’s now getting an all-year round Christmas tree too. He’s been watching Citizen Kane.”

GerrardTree400

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At last, Manchester United launch a casino app. What took them so long?

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An insane penalty decision in Greece.

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from Ian Barr
“I suspect Tony Paskin of the Daily Express may have had this intro to the Monaco v Arsenal game prepared in advance. A laudable effort though.”

Impossible4001

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Aldershot Town – Buddhism HQ.

Buddhism400

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Also in the news this week
Groundsman rolls over goalposts
Potty mouth Nigel Pearson
Solomon Kalou’s wall jeopardy

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