THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
6 March 2015 ~

Today the FA called on supporters to report any sexist language they hear at matches. Presumably anyone sitting near a directors' box containing Richard Scudamore will be listening intently.

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Panetolikos150Badge of the week ~ Panetolikos GFS, Greece
On Mount Olympus lived many Gods – gods of war, hunting, music, drinking, love and wisdom. The powerful, well-known gods in the pantheon carved up the best things to be gods of between them, so that by the time lesser, more diffident gods such as Isimus (a deity unusually riddled with self-doubt) got to choose, there were only things like Lifting & Handling left.

Throwing himself into the subject, though, Isimus disguised himself as a lowly old hag and walked among mortals, studying their ways and the nature of their work-related injuries. He particularly noticed how the men carrying stone in the quarries lifted the stone straight up without bending their knees and keeping the centre of the load close to their body.

As a result, Isimus produced a long and detailed work entitled Manual Handling – The Lifting Techniques of the Gods, which every mortal had to read. Indeed, one of Hercules’s 12 tasks was to carry out the first audit for the whole of Athens based on this pioneering work. Isimus is remembered in Panetolikos’ crest as the god who made the personality defect of extreme pedantry useful to mankind. Cameron Carter

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from Peter Lawson

“Hugo presumably got handed this scarf on his way up the steps.”

Lloris300

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Lukas Podolski needs to work on his corners.

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from Andrew Thomas
"Luke Edwards, fighting a noble, losing battle.”

Spit400

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from Ian Scarisbrick
Cristiano Ronaldo gets unfairly picked on sometimes. I’m sure we all like to keep our waxwork lookalikes in tip-top condition.“

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Also in the news this week
Goalkeeper quits to sell cars
Premier League B teams for the Johnstone's Paint Trophy

Wycombe striker sent off 3.7 seconds after coming on

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