THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
3 October 2014 ~

Hull City owner Assem Allam says he will not spend any more money on the club unless the FA allow him to change their name to Hull Tigers. If this threat doesn't work he will refuse to eat his dinner and then hold his breath until he passes out. That'll teach them.

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RubinBadge of the week ~ FK Rubin Kazan, Russia
The Chicken Dragon features in a Russian tale that is repeated in anthologies with certain minor variations, but generally features a woodcutter who is so poor he cannot afford an axe and is forced to chop down trees using only a sharpened stick. Naturally his output drops and other woodcutters overtake him until he is forced to sell his two young daughters to a childless baron, although there were those in the area who felt he might have sold one of his horses or some furniture and possessions first or maybe just missed a few Friday night hog roasts.

When the Chicken Dragon hears about the affair he flies into a rage and the sky is darkened by his enormous wings as he hovers over the baron's house. The baron does not fear the monstrous figure above him because he has his own personal fire-extinguishing team who live on his property and a ready supply of water. Instead he taunts the Chicken Dragon by laughing at him and showing him the back of his knees (a terrible insult in the region).

The Chicken Dragon surprises everyone by dropping a massive egg on the arrogant nobleman, killing him instantly (most had forgotten the chicken-based capabilities of the creature because only his legs were a chicken's and no one really looked at those). To this day in Russia, the Chicken Dragon is a cultural signifier of Justice and Annoyance At Being Laughed At. Cameron Carter

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From Danny Last
"Can someone reset Crewe Alexandra's conveyor belt of talent? Have they really lost 78 games this season?"

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From Chris Hill
"Not that many footballers have had songs dedicated to them. But Brazilian Robson Ponte clearly impressed during his time in Germany, prompting techno producer Reinhard Voigt to pen this (slightly repetitive) tribute."

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Oldham's Connor Brown was only born in 1991 but it's still a surprise that he thinks Steve Bruce captained England in the 1966 World Cup.

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This may be the most excited anyone has got about the Finnish third division lately. FC Santa Claus (from Lapland) seal promotion with an injury-time goal.

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Also in the news this week
Roy blanks José
Sol Campbell, angry mansion-dweller
Man City tempt fate ahead of their Champions League match with Roma

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