THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

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January issue available in stores and online

JalgpalliklubiBadge of the week ~ Jalgpalliklubi Sillamae Kalev, Estonia
The crest iconography here centres on two performing bears, specifically, Bodo and Mr Polyokoff, the music hall act of two Estonians dressed as bears that rose to national fame in the 1930s. A typical performance would start with the compere introducing the pair, before running off stage as the two "bears" came on, shouting: "I have no news, I have no news!" (The joke here was that the two "bears" were ravenous for current affairs and would kill for a newspaper.)

OxfordCity250Badge of the week ~ Oxford City
The paddling cow was a cow that escaped in Oxford in 1425 while being driven to market. The procedure was in those days for the first person on the scene of the mishap or offence to raise the hue and cry. If they failed to do so, they would be considered by the sheriff to be the cause of the incident. The cowherd on this occasion raised the hue, but failed to raise the cry. He would normally have raised them both at the same time but, after he had raised the hue, he got into a conversation with a chandler about a problem he was having getting wax out of a new rug and completely forgot about the cry.

Miscellaneous200Badge of the week ~ Miscellaneous SC, Botswana
This is what happens when a league uses up all the good names that everyone wanted and is left with a club without a name. In a hurry, the new club's directors did what everyone in a bureaucracy does when faced with categorising something complex quickly, they called the club Miscellaneous and promised to change it to something more apposite later. 

Pandan150Badge of the week ~ Pandan XIV, Brunei
For a long time in the nation of Brunei, short trousers imported from the west for sporting or leisure purposes were, owing to an inconsistency of measurements between Europe and south-east Asia, significantly smaller than anticipated. The players of Pandan were not the only ones to struggle with their new kit but, instead of sending them right back to the supplier like everyone else, Pandan's first chairman instructed his players to wear them anyway.