THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

AlHussein150Badge of the week ~ Al Hussein Sports Club, Jordan
Al Hussein Sports Club came into existence after their founder, a share fisherman, was hypnotised by a storm petrel. Khalid Hussan, later to become first club president, was having a cigarette on deck in the dead of night when the diminutive bird alighted on the boat railing and cocked a gleaming eye his way. Lost in his own reverie - in his own words he was wondering at the time how to dry plates while his wife washed up without looking inadequate - Hussan paid no heed to the bird at first, but then realised he had been staring into its beady eye for several minutes. 

In the first documented case of a man hypnotised by a seabird, Hussan started to experience the sensation that he was an all-round entertainer at an after-party following a royal performance. He was discovered by the boat's captain, awoken by the disturbance above him, buck naked and halfway through a flawed performance of Little Ole Wine Drinker Me

The storm petrel had also telepathically advised Hussan to create a local football club and that wearing cufflinks at an orgy was a bad idea. The storm petrel remains the club's motif despite the fact that their first president was plagued by his own Dean Martin impressions, whenever he was near sea water, for the rest of his life. Cameron Carter

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Goalkeeper targets ballboy in Belgium.

And there's a "Cantona kick" in Chile.

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from Stuart Findlay
"This might be a first - match abandoned because of an abusive away fan."

EdgwareAbandon500

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At last, Manchester United have an official sleep partner.

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Gareth Bale and Sergio Agüero snapped up by Nissan. Will they get a diploma?

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from Mike Bayly

"A diverse menu at Cheadle Town."

CheadlePies500

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Also in the news this week
Danny Ings to miss another season
Football's latest poppy row 
London mayor to investigate West Ham stadium deal

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