THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
18 May 2012 ~

Yesterday Liverpool managing director Ian Ayre said: "The history of this football club means we will get any manager we go after." So Brendan Rodgers, who has turned down an interview for the job, must be less knowledgeable about football history than you would think.

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Badge of the week ~ Victoria Hotspurs FC, Malta
The proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" was at one time universally accepted in Malta and was used pictorially by Victoria Hotspurs to indicate that they were a club that dealt in the here-and-now, the nitty-gritty of reality, rather than pipe-dreams and Five Year Plans. However, when the island nation experienced a period of high inflation in the mid-1950s, the proverb was altered by the government to the more accurate "a bird in the hand is worth 0.35 in the bush" and then to "…0.2 in the bush", before, finally, the country was forced to withdraw from IPERM (the International Proverb Exchange-Rate Mechanism) altogether. 



This meant that the Maltese could no longer use proverbs or maxims in official documents – indeed, in the subsequent 12 months, eight civil servants were incarcerated for using the term "a cat in gloves catches no mice" in a Disabled Parking Badge application form, while another was sacked for explaining the difference between a proverb and a maxim to a gang of surveyors. During this difficult period Victoria Hotspurs were forced to change their crest to a bird in a paved area to avoid prosecution, before Malta were admitted back into IPERM and the hand icon and proverb motif were restored. Cameron Carter

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from Ian Chadwick
"Ball assistants? Well, aren't we posh."

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Giovanni Trapattoni joins some of his players in encouraging a young Irish supporter to eat his greens. It's not clear what he's saying, but it's sure to be well intentioned.

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Mark Lawrenson's insider knowledge is a crucial asset to the BBC.


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On the subject of Liverpool, not only is this DVD expensive, there's also nothing in the box.

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Sometimes the temptation to create a nice flat ticket is just too strong.

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from Wayne Beecham
"If you ever wondered whether Dancing in the Moonlight would be improved by being sung by Paolo di Canio, think again."

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Visitors to this new stadium in Spain shouldn't expect to see goals.

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