THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

The hundred club

  • Alex Anderson
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18 Mar 2016 12:43 #1182534 by Alex Anderson
Wow. Such a small post yet so thoroughly unpleasant. Just two words and - bang - I feel like I need a shower.

Well done, Gangster.
  • ad hoc
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18 Mar 2016 12:47 - 18 Mar 2016 12:47 #1182535 by ad hoc

Alex Anderson wrote: Wow. Such a small post yet so thoroughly unpleasant. Just two words and - bang - I feel like I need a shower.

Technically, it was 3 words
Last Edit: 18 Mar 2016 12:47 by ad hoc.
  • Gangster Octopus
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  • Formally known as Baron Octopus Of Harrow
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18 Mar 2016 12:48 #1182536 by Gangster Octopus
Er, it wasn't meant to be unpleasant. Sorry Alex.
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18 Mar 2016 13:18 - 18 Mar 2016 13:22 #1182545 by Alex Anderson

ad hoc wrote:

Alex Anderson wrote: Wow. Such a small post yet so thoroughly unpleasant. Just two words and - bang - I feel like I need a shower.

Technically, it was 3 words


And now I need the brillo pad ("erm, Brillo is a proper noun ..."). Yeah , see, Ad Hoc, I desisted when I found myself thinking "it's 'It is Porto, actually'" but - fuck me - I should have piled in ... I'm suddenly in the big boys' game here.

Sorry Gangster - no-one takes flippant pedantry as badly as a flipping pedant. It's just that my pedantry is about the football and it's thoroughly verbose. The sarky one-liners I get enough of at home. Oh, you held a cruel mirror up to me sir ...
Last Edit: 18 Mar 2016 13:22 by Alex Anderson. Reason: "I bet EVERY mirror you see is cruel ..." - yes, yes - JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ... to post ranting shite in a public forum and then be surprised when someone responds in a way I don't like ...
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18 Mar 2016 13:26 #1182549 by Alex Anderson

Gangster Octopus wrote: Er, it wasn't meant to be unpleasant. Sorry Alex.


And I should have remembered us talking happily about Rotherham and loads of other stuff from earlier posts, Gangster - apologies - Maccavennie's got to me ...
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18 Mar 2016 13:37 #1182553 by ad hoc
Mine, also, was intended to lighten the mood, not darken it.
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18 Mar 2016 13:39 - 18 Mar 2016 13:44 #1182554 by Alex Anderson

ad hoc wrote: Mine, also, was intended to lighten the mood, not darken it.


It did, ad hoc - it did - any more of this and I'm going to have to start using smileys.

:-)

Now that's dark.

I'm just generally raging because no-one wants to talk about all the European finalists I've not yet seen and how I keep getting oh so comically frustrated in my attempts to score them off a wee list I wrote when I was 12.

I mean - come on - that's gold dust ...
Last Edit: 18 Mar 2016 13:44 by Alex Anderson. Reason: We could turn it into a book - about our mad cap travels ... give it a title relating to divorce ...
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26 May 2016 12:13 #1211750 by Alex Anderson
This Saturday's my 40th European Cup/Champions League final. Today's my 17th wedding anniversary. The two aren't as unconnected as you might think - and neither are particularly different from my 38th and 15th :
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21 Jun 2016 06:37 - 21 Jun 2016 06:50 #1225839 by Stobart
In the 90's I had a drink in every Glasgow pub within the city boundary. Since then I've had to go into every new poncey pub that opens up just to keep my ticklist up-to-date. They are getting progressively more pretentiously named and even worse 'themed'. I hate every one of them, but I've got to keep doing it. Even at £6 a pint.

I've been at 33 of the listed clubs' home grounds (or former home grounds). You're not going to tempt me into another addiction though. Definitely not. Just as a matter of interest, do EasyJet have direct flights from Glasgow to Belgrade .... ?



Fiorentina
Milan
Barcelona
Birmingham City
Rangers
Atletico Madrid
Internazionale
West Ham
Liverpool
Celtic
Bayern Munich
Leeds United
Manchester United
Ajax
Newcastle United
Manchester City
Chelsea
Wolverhampton Wanderers
Borussia Mönchengladbach
Nottingham Forest
Fortuna Düsseldorf
Aston Villa
Aberdeen
Porto
Everton
1.FC Cologne
Dundee United
Espanyol
Middlesbrough
Fulham
HSV (Hamburg)
Újpesti Dózsa
Rapid Vienna
Last Edit: 21 Jun 2016 06:50 by Stobart.
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21 Jun 2016 11:40 - 21 Jun 2016 11:44 #1225938 by Alex Anderson
Fair play to you Stobart - that's some achievement, especially the (no pub pun intended) top ups. I've been down to the much acclaimed "Finnieston scene" and it was the biggest pile of wank I've experienced in Glasgow for a while (and I've drank in Oran Mor): A guy showing ye to yer fuckin seat - FOR A PINT??!! Then describing all the draught beers available (three in total - all pish) before getting a lassie to bring them to ye separately.

Yer not a gentrified part of Greenwich Village - yer Finnieston. Act like it.

Anyway - more importantly - love your grounds list and the only polite thing to do was work through it:

Seen all your teams live except HSV and Újpesti Dózsa.

Seen them all at their home except for Fiorentina, Chelsea, Leeds, Borussia Mönchengladbach, Notts Forest, Cologne, Espanyol, Fulham, HSV, Rapid Vienna and Újpesti Dózsa.

Saw Euro 96 games at Elland Road and City Ground. Have been inside the old Montjuic Olympic Stadium when it was still Espanyol's home, poked my head in Rapid's Gerhard Hanappi and couldn't get in but walked ALL THE WAY ROUND Cologne's Mungesdorfer and Craven Cottage.

Okay - okay - you can't walk all the way round Craven Cottage (didn't swim it either) and I'm also cheating with Milan and Inter: Only been to the San Siro once and it was for the Milan derby - Inter were the away side so I haven't seen them at home but I have seen them playing in their home. Conversely, when I saw Fortuna Dusseldorf they were in the third division (old Regionaliga Nord) and playing at their smaller Paul Janes venue: So I've only seen them at one of their homes.

Tellin ye - this anal-retention, it's a complicated life.

Belgrade? Let it come to you, mate - let it come to you ... and then take it for a pint. In the city centre.
Last Edit: 21 Jun 2016 11:44 by Alex Anderson. Reason: They'd love The Horseshoe ... maybe even the Karaoke upstairs.
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21 Jun 2016 13:26 - 21 Jun 2016 13:27 #1225997 by Stobart
I've been shown to my seat a few times right enough - even in shiteholes. Usually happens when I can't walk in a straight line.

It was the Montjuic I was in too. First and only time I've passed an entire circus on my way to the ground - jugglers, clowns, fire-eaters, monkeys. You don't get that on the way to Cliftonhill. Nah, scrub that.

My favourite grounds are those that have hardly had a lick of paint, far less a rebuilt, since the war. Csepel in Budapest for instance was much more enjoyable than Ujpest Dosza. The £4 hospitality tent might have helped me arrive at that decision.

Next stop is Lithuania in October. Mon the Stumbras.
Last Edit: 21 Jun 2016 13:27 by Stobart.
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21 Jun 2016 13:56 #1226015 by Alex Anderson
*Laughs out loud*

Aye, well Ayr United brought a big support when I saw them in Coatbridge last season so ...

Lithuania? Like it, Stobart. Nice. Enjoy sir - and may you require much assistance to the apres-gemme seating areas ...
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21 Jun 2016 18:05 #1226206 by Stobart
Just looked at your GOT and NOT GOT lists again Alex. So are you counting teams you've only seen away from home as well as those you've visited ? In that case I need to revise my list. I've seen quite a few in European competitions and friendlies in Scotland, and I've seen Anderlecht at Zulte Waregem, and Arsenal away to Leeds. Must be more, I'll have a look.
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27 Mar 2017 14:15 - 27 Mar 2017 14:49 #1306567 by Alex Anderson
Sorry, Stobart - haven't been on this thread for a while. Mostly through embarrassment - not from, as you'd think, writing a few million words in middle age on a list of football teams I want to run a biro through, but because of my horribly infantile posts to a couple of nice WSC regulars who were only yanking my chain (see above ... a bit further above ... tho please don't).

So, having left your last post unreplied for best part of a year, just add Ignoramus to Rude Cunt on my CV.

Yup. I don't care where I see 'em. The ground, the competition - the day of the week: friendly down the marshes or Champions League final at Hampden - if it's officially their first team and I've paid into the ground, I'm bagging that European finalist club. I'm just assuming I've seen most of my ticks at Ibrox but - hey - can't be sure and that's all the reason I need to go and research another sub-list. So here's what I did on my lunch hour:

European finalists I have seen at their home ground.

Real Madrid
Milan
Barcelona
Birmingham City
Rangers
Atletico Madrid
Internazionale
West Ham
Liverpool
Celtic
Bayern Munich
Manchester United
Newcastle United
Arsenal
Wolverhampton Wanderers
Fortuna Düsseldorf
Aston Villa
Aberdeen
Porto
Everton
Dundee United
Middlesbrough

Only 22. Man. Even with me throwing in Inter on that technicality I mentioned when making excuses in posts above (they were the away team in the Milan derby), you've gubbed me on that list, Stobart. Perhaps this is the real reason I took so long to get back to you. List envy.

I'm dreading your revised list of bagged European finalists - beating me on my life's mission list would leave even a conscience-free lazy bastard like me feeling properly inadequate. Or inadequat-er.

But at least I can't be accused of ignoring this thread to buy myself time - to tick off more finalists. As usual, I'm fekin skint so have managed to bag hee-haw this season. St Etienne at Old Trafford was particularly painful to miss - especially after doing Bordeaux at Anfield last season - but even a tank of petrol, a plastic Man U "membership" and the in-no-way-golden-to-Man-U-regulars ticket it would allow me to buy were a bit beyond my funds after the festive period (which involved a few days holiday ... in fucking MANCHESTER).

Of course, I'm not factoring in the Ginsters pork pie, Flake, Wispa, Cokey Coley and Mars Bars I purchase when refuelling both the car and myself for the return journey - but I save on accommodation with baggings in north west England. After seeing Girondins at Anfield I was back on the sofa for 2:30 am, calming down with BT Sports highlights of Fiorentina at Basle and licking the air con-ravaged chocolate crumbs from the folds of my car sweater (also bought the two Prince/Symbol greatest hits CDs from Fopp on Byres Road the previous Saturday. Listened to one on the drive down - other on way back to Glesgae. Fuck, that's living).

"Wasted" a lot of last season's anorak fund on finally getting to Upton Park/Boleyn Ground before they closed it (flights, trains, accommodation, pearly king outfit). They were playing the Villa. Wonderful experience watching the only two Claret and Blue European finalists (til the inevitable Scunthorpe v Trabzonspor Europa League decider) but I'd seen both the Hammers and the Villa before, so a "waster" in terms of this list. But, having only previously seen West Ham at Paisley (see previous pages of this thread for embarrassing levels of detail on that particular friendly), I can at least now add them to a "seen on their own patch" list.

Was at Elland Road for two games at Euro 96 but only seen Leeds at Ibrox. Likewise I was at City Ground for Portugal v Turkey but only seen Forest in a midweek friendly at Dunfermline.

I saw Anderlecht in John Brown's testimonial at Ibrox - kinda sums up how I roll on my list-ticking. Never seen Zulte Waregem. Well jel, as they say in Epicures of Hyndland*. I follow them on Twitter though, purely so their gorgeous name - one of those foreign club names which make you sound fluent in the native language the moment you say it - keeps popping into my head ... between the lyrics to If I Was Your Girlfriend.

And if I hadn't married one girlfriend a few years back I wouldn't have felt obliged to take her to fucking Copenhagen last summer coz it was her 40th. Ye ever drank in Copenhagen? A pint over there would cover a Europa League semi-final at the Etihad AND a Champions League group game at Goodison. With accommodation and extra Ginsters thrown in.

So my season 2016-17 began with FC Copenhagen v Lyngby. Neither of which are European finalists and both of which have played Rangers at Ibrox within my adulthood. Was a lovely experience and both a new ground and new domestic league bagged but - again - that's not the real point ... or list. And I'm now so fucking rooked after the Scandi-drama I find myself fiscally worried at Rangers getting so far in the Scottish and League Cups this season (not covered by the season ticket), far less planning a trip to Roma v Austria Wien in Group E of this season's Europa League because it'll be at the massive Olimpico and the Romans don't care about anything other than Serie A and the Champions League so they'll be giving tickets away and that would be two unbagged finalists in one night or Athletic Bilbao v Rapid Wien in Group F because the new San Mames is also massive and, with a final appearance in the same comp as recently as 2012, as well as a league featuring some of the biggest names in continental history, the Bilbainos are unlikely to fill the place out for an easy home win, or even hoping the reverse fixtures are played in successive nights in Vienna because UEFA have been moving some of them to a Wenesday night, so you could bag four European finalists within 24 hours for the price of just one hotel in the Favoriten district and just how fucking romantic would those games be.

No. Haven't been considering a Euro-finalist tick this season at all.

Bloody "loved ones".

I've been reduced to hoping Lyon - seen humping Rangers at Ibrox in 2007 - reach their first ever European final in this season's Europa League and thereby give me a "retrospective" bagging, making the list longer but ticking one off it for me without me having to as much as click on the Easyjet home page. However, Celta Vigo, Genk or Besiktas getting past the semis would push me under "two-thirds ticked" again and I'll be back to praying Partick Thistle arrange a home friendly with Videoton, FC Twente, Eintracht Frankfurt or Real Zaragoza ...

My name is Eck,
And I am funky,
when it comes to bagging the final third of European finalists I've yet to see in the flesh,
I am a junkaaaay.

But real junkies beg, borrow and steal to fund their habit. And it costs them relationships. I clearly lack commitment.



*Haven't walked down Hyndland/Highburgh Road for months either. Last time I passed this establishment it was mid-refurb. Fat workies staring at me through sawdust-coated sheet glass rather than the usual gawping solicitors and architects wives hoping they're still skinny enough to get away with those jeans as they chow lobster from a bar stool up against the full length window onto the pavement and hope you're either a fatter neighbour who'll be jealous at how distressed you look or Peter Mullen, on his way in to make their white Burgundy feel more socialist. So I don't know how it affects your list of Glasgow boundary boozers. Don't even know if it ever qualified. Is it a pub? Is it a restaurant? With UEFA threatening to fuck about with European club competition in a way which'll make the death of the Cup-Winners Cup seems like a floating fairground gold fish, both our lists are being subsumed into big piles of wank. Fucking tragic. A lifetime's work about to matter for nowt. Beginning to feel like a British EU delegate. One who likes Prince and Mars Bars.
Last Edit: 27 Mar 2017 14:49 by Alex Anderson. Reason: I mentioned the Euro 96 excuses already didn't I. Pathetic. I have seen Atalanta, Villarreal, Artmedia Bratislava, Sparta Prague and Union Berlin at home ... as well as East Stirlingshire, Gretna ...
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