Okay, then...

Who makes the best fizzy bile-flavoured beverage in Europe, from the qualified entrants for this year's tournament?

The Czechs walk it, beating Germany in the finals.

The Italians finish bottom of their group, no matter who else is in it.

Oh, I think the Belgians give the Czechs a fair run for their money. At least into ET, if not to penalties.

Russia go bottom--their pivo, served warm (as customary) bears such as striking resemblance to piss as to be indistinguishable.

Well, you can only say that it's fitting that England didn't qualify.

As Ursus says, it's a Germany v Czech final, although I'd give the game to the Germans.

Blimey! No-one sticking up for the Dutch, French or Spanish, then?

On the subject of British lagers, does anyone remember the Newquay Brewery's 'Steam Lager'? If so, how does that compare with some of the continental brews?

We need Wyatt, I think.

It's Lager, Lymond; not beer in general.

And you must not have had any decent pivo.

Dutch? Harmless but not exactly great
Spanish? Basically a bit like Italian but very slightly less grim
French? With a couple of exceptions in very small volumes, bland.

I'll stick up for Italian, there's a surprisingly drinkable Sardinian lager called Ichthusa (I think). The only place I've seen it in the UK is a Sardinian restaurant in Kentish Town.

Ichnusa.

Very difficult to find outside of Sardinia, let alone outside of Italy. FWIW, I have never seen in it in Milan.

Essentially the Massimo Bonini of lagers.

Yes, that's it. Smart label and perfectly drinkable. I can't place Bonini so that one goes over my head I'm afraid.

Czechs win anyway. Poland make a reasonable showing (remember we're talking lager, anything that doesn't taste of rancid metal is going well) and at least the French have Kronenbourg, the king of '6-for-£5' lagers.

Massimo Bonini pf Juventus was (and likely will always be) the best player in the history of San Marino.

ursus arctos wrote:


Fair on both counts, though I have probably consumed swimming pools full of Stella over the years. Certainly one of the best lagers that's widely available in US grocery stores.

The only decent beer to be found in Russia when I was there was Budvar, though. Warsaw Pact doesn't count...

Wouldn't the Greek and Portuguese contestants trail the Italians by some distance?

(I've never tasted any Greek lager and I imagine there's a good reason why not.)

C'mon, the Belgians win this at a canter, surely.

Quiet crowds, though. All those Trappists.

The original post did specify those who'd qualified though.

I think Greece, Portugal, Romania, Spain, Turkey and Italy are all pretty much the same.

Russian Baltika and Sibirska Korona are both very quaffable in my opinion.

Germany beat the Czechs.

GER 1 (Gaffel, 02)
CZE 1 (Budvar, 67)

aet GER win 5-4 on penalties

Gaffel scores
Staropramen scores
Lowenbrau scores
Gambrinus scores
Reissdorf scores
Budvar scores
Sion scores
Pilsener Urquell misses
Bitburger scores

The plucky Czechs undone at the last by the trio from Die Geißböcke.

The Grauniad did exactly that before the tournament. The Swiss beer mentionned was a new one for me, Vollmond, brewed according to bioenergetic (whatever..) principles and quite tasty according to the chap who wrote the article. Still, we went out in the 1/4 against Germany...

Lymond, just so you know the mention of Stella can constitute "fighting words" in the OTF universe.

ursus arctos wrote:


As long as it's not a fight about national identity, racial politics, and the semiotics of Italian football...