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Worst Cockney Accent in Film History

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18 Feb 2012 13:16 #628694 by Anton Gramscescu
I think it's Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Hands down. Occasionally it's bad cockney, occasionally it's some sort of cod-Irish, but mostly he sounds like a drunk with a speech impediment.

But I'm prepared to be proven wrong. What's your nomination?
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18 Feb 2012 13:39 #628699 by Sanctimonious Git
Charlie Hunman in Green Street _


and whats worse_he's English
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18 Feb 2012 13:53 #628702 by Stumpy Pepys
Josh Hartnett deserves a mention. But whether it's cockney or not … I've really no idea which part of the British Isles he was aiming for.
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18 Feb 2012 14:23 #628707 by erwin
Gor blimey guvnor, Don Cheadle in Ocean's Eleven must be up there somewhere, innit?
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18 Feb 2012 15:06 #628718 by oldjack
It's TV not film, but Anthony LaPaglia's turn as Daphne Moon's brother Simon in Frasier is at least as bad as anything mentioned above.

I'm not absolutely certain it's supposed to be Cockney - Jane Leeves had a Lancashire accent, I think.
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18 Feb 2012 15:35 #628725 by Stumpy Pepys
oldjack wrote:

I'm not absolutely certain it's supposed to be Cockney - Jane Leeves had a Lancashire accent, I think.


Daphne's accent was supposed to be Mancunian; it wasn't but it wasn't bad enough to annoy me.

But you're right, that episode where all her family appear was shocking. I can still hear her brother's awful cock-er-nee accent in my head.
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18 Feb 2012 15:49 #628729 by Squarewheelbike
How about the entire cast of Eastenders?
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18 Feb 2012 17:34 - 18 Feb 2012 17:34 #628764 by Amor de Cosmos
but mostly he sounds like a drunk with a speech impediment.

Well he, fairly famously, was an alcoholic at that time.
Last Edit: 18 Feb 2012 17:34 by Amor de Cosmos.
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19 Feb 2012 01:15 #628895 by The Alan Partridge Project
Stumpy Pepys wrote:

oldjack wrote:

I'm not absolutely certain it's supposed to be Cockney - Jane Leeves had a Lancashire accent, I think.


Daphne's accent was supposed to be Mancunian; it wasn't but it wasn't bad enough to annoy me.

But you're right, that episode where all her family appear was shocking. I can still hear her brother's awful cock-er-nee accent in my head.


From Wiki:

"Five out of Daphne's eight brothers have appeared on the show; few of them maintained consistency with Daphne's Northern accent. LaPaglia, an Australian actor, faked a Cockney (London) accent, while Robbie Coltrane, who is Scottish, played Daphne's brother Michael with a muddled Brummie (Birmingham) accent."

I think I read somewhere that the above was a deliberate in-joke more than anything else.

Famously, of course, the only Manc on the show was John Mahoney.
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19 Feb 2012 11:00 #628945 by Sits
oldjack wrote:

Daphne Moon


sigh
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20 Feb 2012 08:58 #629207 by Mitch

Famously, of course, the only Manc on the show was John Mahoney.


Pedantically (although equally unlikely), I thought he came from Southport?
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20 Feb 2012 09:30 #629217 by Jah Womble
American actors in general appear to think that Brits as a rule have cockney accents. Yet none of them seem able to appropriate one with any accuracy.
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20 Feb 2012 10:33 #629236 by Stumpy Pepys
The ones that have done it well have generally done south-east English accents. There are few examples of Americans who have attempted other geographic regions.

Anne Hathaway did try a Yorkshire accent recently (not successfully, but it wasn't as bad as people made out). I'll be interested to hear Mickey Rourke's Welsh accent, if this rugby biopic he's doing gets made.
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20 Feb 2012 11:08 #629247 by ian.64
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves is a virtual conference of bad accents, or, worse, no attempt to even try. This is English courage, says Kevin Costner, giving the impression that Nottingham is located somewhere near upstate New York.
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20 Feb 2012 11:14 #629251 by Southport Zeb
Mitch wrote:

Famously, of course, the only Manc on the show was John Mahoney.


Pedantically (although equally unlikely), I thought he came from Southport?


Sadly for him it was actually Blackpool he was born in - his mother had been evacuated there from Manchester, where his family returned to after the war.
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21 Feb 2012 18:20 #629753 by Boris Carpark
ian.64 wrote:

Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves is a virtual conference of bad accents, or, worse, no attempt to even try. This is English courage, says Kevin Costner, giving the impression that Nottingham is located somewhere near upstate New York.

This film has to be applauded for it's 'Fuck it, that'll do' attitude from the start*.
Costner makes no effort with his accent throughout, stoops on the shore to kiss a load of sand, sea water & presumably, sewage on his return right at the start & barks 'Gaad, I lurve Een-gland'.
Plaudits to the casting director for rounding up a load of ugly bastards to play the stereotype forelock tugging proles in his gang but congratulations to Christian Slater for his 'go' at local radio dj which he pretty much nails, I reckon.
*The entirely correct attitude as dimwits everywhere lapped this up.
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21 Feb 2012 19:54 #629779 by Sean of the Shed
Brad Pitt.
Hang on, that's the worst accent in Cockney movie history.
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21 Feb 2012 20:18 #629793 by Levin
Jonny Depp did cockney in From Hell didn't he?

I'd love it if someone made a period drama with historically accurate accents. 17th century London english sounded more like an American accent than a modern British one.
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21 Feb 2012 20:47 #629823 by Reed John

I'd love it if someone made a period drama with historically accurate accents. 17th century London english sounded more like an American accent than a modern British one.


How do we know things like that?
I'm not contradicting you, I'm asking a methodological question.
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21 Feb 2012 21:14 #629843 by Reed John
I don't think I know what a real cockney sounds like except Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady and I don't know if that's authentic or not.

Is it dying out?
I have noticed from Charlie Brooker's shows that when he shows bits of the BBC from the 1950s, especially vox populi bits, that the people often sound like Eliza Doolittle, but the modern ones don't.

It amazes me how many accents Britain crams into a small space. I can't always remember them all or identify them all, however.



I thought Johnny Depp was pretty good in From Hell. At least it seemed like a consistent accent, unlike the Josh Hartnett one mentioned (I usually like him).

I think Don Cheadle in the Ocean's films is deliberately going OTT, but again, it sounds consistent to my ear, at least. Maybe not authentic, but to me that's not so important in character like that. It's more important that it sounds consistent. Otherwise it breaks the illusion of the performance.
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