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Worst Cockney Accent in Film History
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TOPIC: Worst Cockney Accent in Film History

posted 18-02-2012 13:16
I think it's Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Hands down. Occasionally it's bad cockney, occasionally it's some sort of cod-Irish, but mostly he sounds like a drunk with a speech impediment.

But I'm prepared to be proven wrong. What's your nomination?
posted 18-02-2012 13:39
Charlie Hunman in Green Street_


and whats worse_he's English
posted 18-02-2012 13:53
Josh Hartnett deserves a mention. But whether it's cockney or not … I've really no idea which part of the British Isles he was aiming for.
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posted 18-02-2012 14:23
Gor blimey guvnor, Don Cheadle in Ocean's Eleven must be up there somewhere, innit?
posted 18-02-2012 15:06
It's TV not film, but Anthony LaPaglia's turn as Daphne Moon's brother Simon in Frasier is at least as bad as anything mentioned above.

I'm not absolutely certain it's supposed to be Cockney - Jane Leeves had a Lancashire accent, I think.
posted 18-02-2012 15:35
oldjack wrote:
I'm not absolutely certain it's supposed to be Cockney - Jane Leeves had a Lancashire accent, I think.


Daphne's accent was supposed to be Mancunian; it wasn't but it wasn't bad enough to annoy me.

But you're right, that episode where all her family appear was shocking. I can still hear her brother's awful cock-er-nee accent in my head.
posted 18-02-2012 15:49
How about the entire cast of Eastenders?
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posted 18-02-2012 17:34
but mostly he sounds like a drunk with a speech impediment.

Well he, fairly famously, was an alcoholic at that time.
Last Edit: 18-02-2012 17:34:57 by Amor de Cosmos.
posted 19-02-2012 01:15
Stumpy Pepys wrote:
oldjack wrote:
I'm not absolutely certain it's supposed to be Cockney - Jane Leeves had a Lancashire accent, I think.


Daphne's accent was supposed to be Mancunian; it wasn't but it wasn't bad enough to annoy me.

But you're right, that episode where all her family appear was shocking. I can still hear her brother's awful cock-er-nee accent in my head.


From Wiki:

"Five out of Daphne's eight brothers have appeared on the show; few of them maintained consistency with Daphne's Northern accent. LaPaglia, an Australian actor, faked a Cockney (London) accent, while Robbie Coltrane, who is Scottish, played Daphne's brother Michael with a muddled Brummie (Birmingham) accent."

I think I read somewhere that the above was a deliberate in-joke more than anything else.

Famously, of course, the only Manc on the show was John Mahoney.
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posted 19-02-2012 11:00
oldjack wrote:
Daphne Moon


sigh
posted 20-02-2012 08:58
Famously, of course, the only Manc on the show was John Mahoney.


Pedantically (although equally unlikely), I thought he came from Southport?
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posted 20-02-2012 09:30
American actors in general appear to think that Brits as a rule have cockney accents. Yet none of them seem able to appropriate one with any accuracy.
posted 20-02-2012 10:33
The ones that have done it well have generally done south-east English accents. There are few examples of Americans who have attempted other geographic regions.

Anne Hathaway did try a Yorkshire accent recently (not successfully, but it wasn't as bad as people made out). I'll be interested to hear Mickey Rourke's Welsh accent, if this rugby biopic he's doing gets made.
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posted 20-02-2012 11:08
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves is a virtual conference of bad accents, or, worse, no attempt to even try. This is English courage, says Kevin Costner, giving the impression that Nottingham is located somewhere near upstate New York.
posted 20-02-2012 11:14
Mitch wrote:
Famously, of course, the only Manc on the show was John Mahoney.


Pedantically (although equally unlikely), I thought he came from Southport?


Sadly for him it was actually Blackpool he was born in - his mother had been evacuated there from Manchester, where his family returned to after the war.
posted 21-02-2012 18:20
ian.64 wrote:
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves is a virtual conference of bad accents, or, worse, no attempt to even try. This is English courage, says Kevin Costner, giving the impression that Nottingham is located somewhere near upstate New York.

This film has to be applauded for it's 'Fuck it, that'll do' attitude from the start*.
Costner makes no effort with his accent throughout, stoops on the shore to kiss a load of sand, sea water & presumably, sewage on his return right at the start & barks 'Gaad, I lurve Een-gland'.
Plaudits to the casting director for rounding up a load of ugly bastards to play the stereotype forelock tugging proles in his gang but congratulations to Christian Slater for his 'go' at local radio dj which he pretty much nails, I reckon.
*The entirely correct attitude as dimwits everywhere lapped this up.
posted 21-02-2012 19:54
Brad Pitt.
Hang on, that's the worst accent in Cockney movie history.
posted 21-02-2012 20:18
Jonny Depp did cockney in From Hell didn't he?

I'd love it if someone made a period drama with historically accurate accents. 17th century London english sounded more like an American accent than a modern British one.
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posted 21-02-2012 20:47
I'd love it if someone made a period drama with historically accurate accents. 17th century London english sounded more like an American accent than a modern British one.


How do we know things like that?
I'm not contradicting you, I'm asking a methodological question.
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posted 21-02-2012 21:14
I don't think I know what a real cockney sounds like except Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady and I don't know if that's authentic or not.

Is it dying out?
I have noticed from Charlie Brooker's shows that when he shows bits of the BBC from the 1950s, especially vox populi bits, that the people often sound like Eliza Doolittle, but the modern ones don't.

It amazes me how many accents Britain crams into a small space. I can't always remember them all or identify them all, however.



I thought Johnny Depp was pretty good in From Hell. At least it seemed like a consistent accent, unlike the Josh Hartnett one mentioned (I usually like him).

I think Don Cheadle in the Ocean's films is deliberately going OTT, but again, it sounds consistent to my ear, at least. Maybe not authentic, but to me that's not so important in character like that. It's more important that it sounds consistent. Otherwise it breaks the illusion of the performance.
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