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Welcome, Guest
I've just seen a traumatic advert
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TOPIC: I've just seen a traumatic advert

  • Kowalski
  • Against Modern Banter
  • Posts: 1756
posted 05-02-2013 20:01
I've just seen the advert for the lottery where a northern bloke with that slappable laddish expression suggests that we "'ave a celebration!!!" because local shops sell scratch cards.
posted 05-02-2013 20:10
No Gero, just a bowl with pot pourri in. And a bog roll.

Speaking of which: a pound of Dundee cake is rather an expensive thing to be flushing down the bog. I bought a Dundee Cake and a Black bun in perth before xmas to take to Ms Felicity's Fifer-in-exile father, and got very little change from a £20 note
Last Edit: 05-02-2013 20:10:51 by Felicity, I guess so.
posted 06-02-2013 13:26
Kowalski wrote:
I've just seen the advert for the lottery where a northern bloke with that slappable laddish expression suggests that we "'ave a celebration!!!" because local shops sell scratch cards.


A horrible mutation of Peter Kay, Vernon Kay and Paddy McGuinness with a Blackburn accent.

Though at first glance, the "celebration" could feasibly pass as a Pet Shop Boys gig.
  • gerontophile
  • "Hatewank" is my new favourite word.
  • Posts: 15967
posted 06-02-2013 19:55
treibeis wrote:
- my Dad befriended a German golfer and they sat up all night drinking duty free whisky. Berndt (for it was he) then staggered into the bathroom, lifted the lid on the laundry basket and let loose a long yellow stream.

What, a German bloke standing up to widdle indoors? No wonder he got it wrong; he'd never done it before.


The Germans had a talking ghost or something, which would react when you didn't put the seat up? Or did I imagine that?
posted 06-02-2013 22:03
posted 06-02-2013 22:06
Currently in Australia. Only caught a brief amount of tv, but since that tv was the Super Bowl, I'm already up to speed advert-wise. The first thing to say is boobs are big over here - in every respect. There's not a product that they won't use boobs to sell. I'm talking hi-end school-boy phwwwwwoar. The rest of the adverts consist of showing stuff that kills insects. It's fuqing carnage. Woman with big boobs slaughtering spiders. It's like the love child of russ Meyer and Roger corman.
Last Edit: 06-02-2013 22:13:49 by Slightly Brown.
posted 08-02-2013 20:25
We Buy Any Car once appeared to be in a competition with Go Compare to see who could shoe-horn their annoying song into the most annoying advert. Whilst Go Compare has gone done a weird meta route in their recent campaigns, WBAC's latest effort is more restrained, being a simple description of what their service is and how it works, then ending with a quiet play of their signature riff on car horns. A nice advert, sadly spoiled by James bloody Corden doing the voiceover.
  • ian.64
  • Badgers? We don't want no stinking badgers!
  • Posts: 3231
posted 10-02-2013 11:01
I've probably mentioned it before on this thread, but no greater irritant currently makes me want to pulverise bricks into dust with my bare hands with seething anger than the sound of 'DOM DIDDY, DOM DIDDY' that kicks off the Liverpool Victoria ads.

Dom diddy die, you bastard.
posted 10-02-2013 11:06
Oh, I don't know, the off-tune whistling in the Homebase ads is pretty awful too. It doesn't help that both jingles have been on TV for about 5 years even though both wore out their welcome after about 5 days.

I notice that Halfords have binned their most recent adverts (the ones that portrayed their own customers as morons) and have gone back to the ones they showed previously (which are still rubbish, but don't actually insult the people Halfords want business from).
Last Edit: 12-02-2013 11:58:41 by blameless.
  • gerontophile
  • "Hatewank" is my new favourite word.
  • Posts: 15967
posted 12-02-2013 10:59
TESCO. Trying to use music to sell shit...

Then they use 'Mr Loverman'.

Sorry about this, but

CUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
  • Jongudmund
  • "You're bringing logic to a knife fight."
  • Posts: 926
posted 12-02-2013 12:49
Andrex. "We are a nation divided! Do you scrunch or fold?"

What the hell? Why would anyone want to discuss that?
posted 12-02-2013 13:07
On the old Everton Rivals board (consistently one of the funniest football messageboards I used to visit), the 'sit or stand' debate raged for years.
  • nmrfox
  • This is why events unnerve me
  • Posts: 792
posted 12-02-2013 13:27
Big, bloody, bastardy British Gas using the lovely "The Universal" to tell you what a caring, loyal, mistake-free, wonderful company they are.

Why not be truthful and use "Money" by the Flying Lizards instead.
posted 12-02-2013 13:31
Jongudmund wrote:
Andrex. "We are a nation divided! Do you scrunch or fold?"

What the hell? Why would anyone want to discuss that?


Only an idiot would scrunch anyway.
  • Jongudmund
  • "You're bringing logic to a knife fight."
  • Posts: 926
posted 12-02-2013 16:08
Toby Gymshorts wrote:
Jongudmund wrote:
Andrex. "We are a nation divided! Do you scrunch or fold?"

What the hell? Why would anyone want to discuss that?


Only an idiot would scrunch anyway.


Agreed.
  • Jongudmund
  • "You're bringing logic to a knife fight."
  • Posts: 926
posted 12-02-2013 16:09
nmrfox wrote:
Big, bloody, bastardy British Gas using the lovely "The Universal" to tell you what a caring, loyal, mistake-free, wonderful company they are.

Why not be truthful and use "Money" by the Flying Lizards instead.


They're using the A-team theme now. Because they send a crew of highly trained professionals to tell you that your boiler isn't covered under the expensive warranty they sold you and so you have to shell out extra.
posted 13-02-2013 04:28
Jongudmund wrote:
Andrex. "We are a nation divided! Do you scrunch or fold?"

What the hell? Why would anyone want to discuss that?


I bought Andrex thinking "you know, you work hard, you deserve the odd foray into luxury, you go top-line - you star." And I used the stuff after a modest offering and it was like wiping my ass with a ghost. Half a roll and I'm still in there. Then came the Gentle knocks at the door from ms brown, inquiring about well-being and possible slippage. Unimpressed.
posted 13-02-2013 08:43
Jongudmund wrote:


They're using the A-team theme now. Because they send a crew of highly trained professionals to tell you that your boiler isn't covered under the expensive warranty they sold you and so you have to shell out extra.


Christ.

I've not seen the advert but I'll hazard a guess that to a background soundtrack of martial music and gunshot, a commanding voiceover goes:


"In 1986, a crack public utility was sent into privatisation by an illegitimate regime, a crime to which the public did not commit. This utility promptly escaped from most mandatory regulations regarding decent pricing and service to the stock exchange. Today, still allowed to do what the hell they want by the government they survive as soldiers of profit. If you have a gas problem, they know no one else can help, and if you can afford the astronomical prices....maybe you can hire The BG-Team. Da-Da-Da-Duh-Duh-Duh......"
  • Jongudmund
  • "You're bringing logic to a knife fight."
  • Posts: 926
posted 13-02-2013 13:03
Geoffrey de Ste. Croix wrote:


"In 1986, a crack public utility was sent into privatisation by an illegitimate regime, a crime to which the public did not commit. This utility promptly escaped from most mandatory regulations regarding decent pricing and service to the stock exchange. Today, still allowed to do what the hell they want by the government they survive as soldiers of profit. If you have a gas problem, they know no one else can help, and if you can afford the astronomical prices....maybe you can hire The BG-Team. Da-Da-Da-Duh-Duh-Duh......"


Quite, quite brilliant.

No, the ad doesn't quite run like that.
  • Crusoe
  • Duplo king
  • Posts: 3581
posted 13-02-2013 13:10
Those bloody "people's postcode lottery" adverts. Is this a genuine charity lottery effort, or (as it appears) a less socially minded knock-off?
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