THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

Incorrect but vaguely plausible football stories

  • Kettle
  • Offline
  • Live everyday, people. Live every fucking day.
More
23 Nov 2012 22:41 #735114 by Kettle
#81 Uli Hoeness played saxaphone on Baker Street
More
23 Nov 2012 22:54 #735116 by Southport Zeb
#82 - Former Everton, Rangers and Manchester City defender Michael Ball has spent the last four summers providing musical entertainment on Mediterranean cruises. He was initially signed up by a booker who mixed him up with the West End star of the same name. However it turned out that the footballer had an excellent voice and he has been invited back several times. His signature song is a swing version of Talking Heads' Psycho Killer
More
24 Nov 2012 04:55 #735148 by Sam
#83 Martín 'Once Broke His Own Leg Celebrating A Goal' Palermo is about to become a football manager, having accepted his first job in the Argentine Primera.

Oops, sorry - that's actually happening.
More
24 Nov 2012 05:59 #735150 by Uroš Predić
#83 Nolberto Solano cannot play the trumpet
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 09:36 #735161 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#84 Chris Woods almost missed the 1985 Milk Cup Final after team-mates Mick Channon and Steve Bruce convinced him the final was over two legs. He only realised the prank when he turned up at a deserted Carrow Road and had to arrange a taxi all the way to Wembley, arriving at the stadium with five minutes to spare.
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 09:45 - 24 Nov 2012 09:47 #735164 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#85 Mario Ballotelli has donated over £500,000 to fund the establishment of a museum dedicated to the Flumps, after coming across a compilation video of the 1980s children's TV series at a car boot sale in Barnoldswick
Last Edit: 24 Nov 2012 09:47 by Rogin the Armchair fan.
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 09:51 #735167 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#86 In a chapter of his autobiography that was withheld from publication due to legal reasons, Bryan Robson claimed that he knew for certain that women were playing football at the highest level disguised as men, and that he had once managed such a player while at Middlesbrough
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 09:58 #735170 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#87 Glen Johnson has a morbid phobia of butterflies and moths, believing that if one touches him it will steal his soul and turn him into a zombie
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 10:15 #735172 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#88 The 1968 European Nations' Cup Final between Italy and Yugoslavia had to be replayed after the official UEFA coin, that was to have been used to decide the outcome following the 1-1 draw, was discovered to have been stolen from the referee's pocket during the match, and neither side could agree on a substitute coin to be used in its place.
  • Hamish! Dougal!
  • Offline
  • Don't sell McShane.........
More
24 Nov 2012 10:38 #735179 by Hamish! Dougal!
89 - Before coming to Europe, Shinji Kagawa was the co-host of top rated Japanese game show '2-Headed Tiger, Orange Dragon', in which contestants had to escape an island littered with mud pools and various It's A Knockout-style obstacles, while all the time being hosed down with liquid LSD.
More
24 Nov 2012 10:42 #735181 by Uncle Toni
#90
This thread is the finest funniest thing I've ever read.
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 11:20 - 24 Nov 2012 11:22 #735186 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#91 Philip Neville has a framed poster of brother Gary scoring the own goal past Paul Robinson against Croatia (in Euro 2008 qualifying) above the mantelpiece in his snooker room. Whenever anyone misses an easy black, it is traditional for other players to point at the poster and cheer.
Last Edit: 24 Nov 2012 11:22 by Rogin the Armchair fan.
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 11:31 #735187 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#92 Graeme Souness insists as part of his contract upon taking up managerial duties at any club that the remains of a badger be buried under the away manager's technical area. Torino's inability to comply with his request in 1997 (due to their ground-sharing arrangement with Juventus at the time) was the real reason behind his departure after only a few games in charge.
  • Rogin the Armchair fan
  • Offline
  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
More
24 Nov 2012 11:50 #735189 by Rogin the Armchair fan
#93 Scott Parker has a 250 gallon aquarium in his living room stocked with over 100 examples of tropical fish, each of which he has named "Bob".
More
24 Nov 2012 12:18 #735199 by Lodzubelieveit
#94

José Antonio Reyes keeps happy memories of his time in London alive by greeting fellow members of the Sevilla squad in the manner of a London bobby, with an "Evening, all" when he sees them. This happens whether or not it is actually evening.
  • nmrfox
  • Offline
  • This is why events unnerve me
More
24 Nov 2012 13:35 #735211 by nmrfox
#95 The Captain, Leader, Legend banner first appeared at Stamford Bridge in the 1980's as a homage to Doug Rougvie.
More
24 Nov 2012 15:44 #735236 by dogbeak
#96 - Alexander Graham Bell invented the centre circle, by mistake.
More
24 Nov 2012 20:48 #735314 by Billy Casper
97 - The father of Real Madrid legend Raul is a huge Luton Town fan. His obsession reached its peak in the mid 70s when his favourite players were Ron and Paul Futcher. When his wife became pregnant he decided that he would name the child (boy or girl) after the duo, but couldn't decide which name should be the first name and which the middle...

He threw up his hands in frustration and decided on 'Raul Ponald'.
More
24 Nov 2012 21:48 #735321 by Southport Zeb
#98 - Paul Mariner was born Paul Thompson. His father was a great fan of the US space programme and renamed the family after the Mariner series of probes
  • Kettle
  • Offline
  • Live everyday, people. Live every fucking day.
More
24 Nov 2012 23:10 #735338 by Kettle
#99 - Cesc Fabregas, in his Arsenal days, once built a biscuit empire. He asked to go back to Barcelona when Nicklas Bendtner added a pink wafer as part of the Colosseum, and Aleksandr Hleb did the "is that Jaffa Cake an actual biscuit?" spiel out of pure spite.
Time to create page: 0.123 seconds

Sign up for the WSC Weekly Howl

Just enter your email address