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Incorrect but vaguely plausible football stories
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TOPIC: Incorrect but vaguely plausible football stories

  • Kettle
  • Live everyday, people. Live every fucking day.
  • Posts: 1064
posted 23-11-2012 22:41
#81 Uli Hoeness played saxaphone on Baker Street
posted 23-11-2012 22:54
#82 - Former Everton, Rangers and Manchester City defender Michael Ball has spent the last four summers providing musical entertainment on Mediterranean cruises. He was initially signed up by a booker who mixed him up with the West End star of the same name. However it turned out that the footballer had an excellent voice and he has been invited back several times. His signature song is a swing version of Talking Heads' Psycho Killer
  • Sam
  • Posts: 8603
posted 24-11-2012 04:55
#83 Martín 'Once Broke His Own Leg Celebrating A Goal' Palermo is about to become a football manager, having accepted his first job in the Argentine Primera.

Oops, sorry - that's actually happening.
posted 24-11-2012 05:59
#83 Nolberto Solano cannot play the trumpet
posted 24-11-2012 09:36
#84 Chris Woods almost missed the 1985 Milk Cup Final after team-mates Mick Channon and Steve Bruce convinced him the final was over two legs. He only realised the prank when he turned up at a deserted Carrow Road and had to arrange a taxi all the way to Wembley, arriving at the stadium with five minutes to spare.
posted 24-11-2012 09:45
#85 Mario Ballotelli has donated over £500,000 to fund the establishment of a museum dedicated to the Flumps, after coming across a compilation video of the 1980s children's TV series at a car boot sale in Barnoldswick
Last Edit: 24-11-2012 09:47:21 by Rogin the Armchair fan.
posted 24-11-2012 09:51
#86 In a chapter of his autobiography that was withheld from publication due to legal reasons, Bryan Robson claimed that he knew for certain that women were playing football at the highest level disguised as men, and that he had once managed such a player while at Middlesbrough
posted 24-11-2012 09:58
#87 Glen Johnson has a morbid phobia of butterflies and moths, believing that if one touches him it will steal his soul and turn him into a zombie
posted 24-11-2012 10:15
#88 The 1968 European Nations' Cup Final between Italy and Yugoslavia had to be replayed after the official UEFA coin, that was to have been used to decide the outcome following the 1-1 draw, was discovered to have been stolen from the referee's pocket during the match, and neither side could agree on a substitute coin to be used in its place.
posted 24-11-2012 10:38
89 - Before coming to Europe, Shinji Kagawa was the co-host of top rated Japanese game show '2-Headed Tiger, Orange Dragon', in which contestants had to escape an island littered with mud pools and various It's A Knockout-style obstacles, while all the time being hosed down with liquid LSD.
posted 24-11-2012 10:42
This thread is the finest funniest thing I've ever read.
posted 24-11-2012 11:20
#91 Philip Neville has a framed poster of brother Gary scoring the own goal past Paul Robinson against Croatia (in Euro 2008 qualifying) above the mantelpiece in his snooker room. Whenever anyone misses an easy black, it is traditional for other players to point at the poster and cheer.
Last Edit: 24-11-2012 11:22:52 by Rogin the Armchair fan.
posted 24-11-2012 11:31
#92 Graeme Souness insists as part of his contract upon taking up managerial duties at any club that the remains of a badger be buried under the away manager's technical area. Torino's inability to comply with his request in 1997 (due to their ground-sharing arrangement with Juventus at the time) was the real reason behind his departure after only a few games in charge.
posted 24-11-2012 11:50
#93 Scott Parker has a 250 gallon aquarium in his living room stocked with over 100 examples of tropical fish, each of which he has named "Bob".
posted 24-11-2012 12:18

José Antonio Reyes keeps happy memories of his time in London alive by greeting fellow members of the Sevilla squad in the manner of a London bobby, with an "Evening, all" when he sees them. This happens whether or not it is actually evening.
  • nmrfox
  • This is why events unnerve me
  • Posts: 2604
posted 24-11-2012 13:35
#95 The Captain, Leader, Legend banner first appeared at Stamford Bridge in the 1980's as a homage to Doug Rougvie.
posted 24-11-2012 15:44
#96 - Alexander Graham Bell invented the centre circle, by mistake.
posted 24-11-2012 20:48
97 - The father of Real Madrid legend Raul is a huge Luton Town fan. His obsession reached its peak in the mid 70s when his favourite players were Ron and Paul Futcher. When his wife became pregnant he decided that he would name the child (boy or girl) after the duo, but couldn't decide which name should be the first name and which the middle...

He threw up his hands in frustration and decided on 'Raul Ponald'.
posted 24-11-2012 21:48
#98 - Paul Mariner was born Paul Thompson. His father was a great fan of the US space programme and renamed the family after the Mariner series of probes
  • Kettle
  • Live everyday, people. Live every fucking day.
  • Posts: 1064
posted 24-11-2012 23:10
#99 - Cesc Fabregas, in his Arsenal days, once built a biscuit empire. He asked to go back to Barcelona when Nicklas Bendtner added a pink wafer as part of the Colosseum, and Aleksandr Hleb did the "is that Jaffa Cake an actual biscuit?" spiel out of pure spite.
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