THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

Incorrect but vaguely plausible football stories

  • Rogin the Armchair fan
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  • I've met Riley, and yes, my life is not dissimilar
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25 Nov 2012 10:15 #735428 by Rogin the Armchair fan
Sean, the one about Jamie Carragher has just made me spit coffee all over my keyboard.
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25 Nov 2012 10:26 #735429 by Jobi1
#117 John Wark has a 1:4 scale model of the thunderdome from Mad Max made entirely from lobster pots in his back garden
  • hobbes
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  • A bastion of rightness in a wrong world
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25 Nov 2012 11:18 #735440 by hobbes
#118 - doctors at University College Hospital in London have experimented with using audio interviews with Michael Owen in lieu of anisthetic for relatively minor operations.
They believe it works in a similar way to hypnosis, although significantly, it seems to suppress alpha waves in the brain by up to 97%.
  • Big Boobs and FIRE!
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  • Trains come in, trains go out.
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25 Nov 2012 12:10 #735451 by Big Boobs and FIRE!
#120. Sig Hansun, Captain of the MV North Western and star of Discvery Channel's 'Deadliest Catch', when he is not fishing for Alaskan King crab, is a well known face on the Hellenic League ground hopping scene.

Sig just needs Tytherington Rocks to clear Div 1 west, although there is a dispute about Slimbridge as no programme was issued.

Sig was at the now infamous Wokingham v Holyport game where legendary ground hopper 'Barry the Twat' went mental because the game kicked off five minutes early.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AriawBAR7AA
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25 Nov 2012 12:26 #735458 by tracteurgarçon
#121 AC Milan were formed by Nikola Tesla to promote his new "alternating current" whilst his great rival, Thomas Edison, established DC United.
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25 Nov 2012 12:27 - 25 Nov 2012 12:28 #735459 by Billy Casper
122 - Huddersfield Town legend Andy Booth cannot go longer than thirty minutes without eating junk food. During his playing career he used to hide a Mars bar and a packet of crisps down the front of his underpants and then when the action was down at the other end of the pitch he would reach down, grab a handful of food, and shove it quickly into his mouth.

His various managers never caught on to what was happening, but they did notice he had his hands down his shorts a fair bit of the time. Booth always explained this away by saying he was warming his hands. This earned him the nickname Andy 'Coldfinger' Booth.
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2012 12:28 by Billy Casper.
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25 Nov 2012 12:30 #735462 by tracteurgarçon
#123 Fulham ace, Bryan Ruiz, was the result of a dalliance between the Duke of Edinburgh and a Costa Rican dancing girl, during the Queen's visit to the capital, San Jose, in 1984, unofficially making him 54th in line to the British throne.
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25 Nov 2012 12:36 #735466 by Serge Gainsbourg
#124 Due to an optical illusion, ex-footballer Rodney Marsh is involved in a civil partnership with actor Dennis Waterman, with friends of the couple pointing out their strong compatability.
Will other OTF'ers join me in wishing the happy couple every happiness for the future?
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25 Nov 2012 12:39 #735467 by tracteurgarçon
#125 Due to an anomaly in the signing of the Treaty of Versailles in 1918, the FA Dubious Goals panel is still technically at war with Germany.
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25 Nov 2012 12:46 #735470 by tracteurgarçon
#126 Towards the end of his career Steve Claridge couldn't remember which clubs he'd played for, so out of respect for fans of his former teams, he refused to celebrate any goal he scored.
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25 Nov 2012 13:08 #735478 by N est à?
Tranmere Rovers wear a single star on their kit to commemorate coming top of the fair play league in season 2003/4.
  • Stumpy Pepys
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  • I ought to report you to the Gnome Office
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25 Nov 2012 13:19 #735481 by Stumpy Pepys
#128 — Chelsea's John Terry is rumoured to have the UK's largest collection of Wade Whimsies.

He has received several fines from the club for being late to training, due to his obsessive poring over eBay listings on his laptop, searching for particularly hard-to-find figurines.
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25 Nov 2012 14:13 - 25 Nov 2012 14:14 #735497 by Satchmo Distel
#129 - In 1995, David Batty was tricked into eating a baguette filled with semen contributed by the entire Blackburn Rovers squad, including the youth team.
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2012 14:14 by Satchmo Distel.
  • Duncan Gardner
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  • From the Zeitgeist in Bitesize
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25 Nov 2012 14:30 #735501 by Duncan Gardner
#130 Ex-Crusaders, Linfield and Northern Ireland striker Colin McCurdy had to postpone his bid to become European Golden Boot after being charged with involvement in a UDA heist.
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25 Nov 2012 15:11 #735525 by Banana Banana
#131 After retirement former Airdrieonians and Dundee wing wizard, Graham Harvey, became agricultural story editor for The Archers.
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25 Nov 2012 15:17 #735528 by Banana Banana
#132 George Best changed his name by deed poll before signing for Manchester United. He was born George Mild.
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25 Nov 2012 15:23 #735531 by Banana Banana
# 133 In 2004 Peter Reid raised £43,000 for BBC's Children in Need appeal by learning to peel five bananas with his feet.
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25 Nov 2012 15:30 - 25 Nov 2012 15:31 #735534 by Banana Banana
#134 In his 11 year professional career Yaya Toure has never been caught offside.
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2012 15:31 by Banana Banana.
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25 Nov 2012 15:31 - 25 Nov 2012 15:32 #735535 by The Purple Cow
#135 Dirk Kuyt was the Dutch Air Guitar champion in 2002, 2003 and 2005. He came second in 2004.
Last Edit: 25 Nov 2012 15:32 by The Purple Cow.
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25 Nov 2012 15:33 #735536 by Banana Banana
#136 Gary Caldwell is, in fact, not eligible to play for Scotland
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