Having spent the GDP of Switzerland ($491billion) on Jamie Rainman and Liam Brownhill, Chester have today announced the signing of FC United's flying winger Jerome Wright.

With this, Chester have ensured that the Supporters' Direct cup in July will be sheer bloody carnage, with death and fire on the pitch and in the stands.

Could it be that Chester have seen how unpopular Halifax were last season and though "Yeah. We can top that."

On this, the end of days, the four horsemen have landed in Chester, to watch an open topped bus parade, and sign our second best player.

I can understand how this would grate with a Man. U. fan but hey, that's show-business.

Happens at least once a year to us. As Wimbledon told us at the start, don't get too attached. Love at this level is wasted. Everything is transient save the shirt. I think it's just the fact it's happened twice already this year that stings. With more to come.

But fuck it. McManus has gone. Jerome has gone. Others may follow. As El Presidente, Comrade Walsh said, we won't be held hostage over wages. So at the start of next season, we'll have a team of men, strong in heart, and steely in vision. Young, gifted and red. And they'll take the field for our team, my team, and not for money, but for what we believe in. Until next post-season, at which point they'll fuck off to Scarborough or somewhere for an extra £120 a week. The cunts.

All the more important that the new ground gets built, then, I guess.

EIM wrote:

Stop whining. You lot are much better off than Scarborough.

We're much better off in many ways than every other club on the planet, GO. But I'll kindly reject your request to stop whining, if that's OK with you.

Here, Ian, where are Chester getting the cash from? Apart from the £12 tickets?

Chester took Droylsden's best midfield player, Alex Brown, away from us this week too.

I think it was because Droylsden fans were whingeing about losing Brownhill and they came back to rub our noses in it.

I thought you would take the news well with your traditional good humour and cheery disposition.

I had no idea we had signed Alex Brown, whoever he is.

Gary Aardvark wrote:


Oh, you just wait until the season starts. And/or when you sign Jake Cotterell as well.

I mean, Jesus, find your own players. Stop signing ours.

Is your goalkeeper any good we could do with a new one?

The keeper who played outfield for Bolton, in nets for us, but scored this season? Or the keeper who was a keeper as a youth, plays up front for us, but saved a penalty this season?

They're both shit, obv.

Confusing. Might as well take both while we sort out their positions.

Will you be at the Supporters Direct Cup in July? If so, you can buy me a beer seeing as you're all so loaded and that? And if you can't, then I'll buy you one in a gesture of fan owned solidarity, on this momentous day. This Wimbleday.

EIM wrote:

Rainman? Have you been possessed by the spirit of Fartle?

Hahaha. Sorry. I was thinking rainman as I went to type Rainford. This is due to my work colleague Nick 'Rain Man' Rainsford.

Still, I like it. "Fifty goals. Fifty goals. AAAAAAHHHHAHHHH."

We're going to piss this tinpot league...

Jamie turns up for pre-season training at Chester and won't get kitted out.

"Gotta get my shorts at K-Mart. All my shorts have my name in. Jamie."

Go on then. I'll be unarmed. Hopefully my trained negotiation skills will prevent mass murder and the carnage you promised. Just walk into the ground with your hands in the air and no sudden movements. Our stewards are highly paid trained killers.

Buxton's all time leading goalscorer, Mark Reed (191 goals in 294 appearances) has left the club. The commute form Ellesmere Port is too much for him, and with a child due soon, he wanted to join a club closer to home.

Hmmmm. A club at this level close to Ellesmere Port. Who on earth could he be joining?

Vauxhall Motors?