THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

A small portion of despair and enlightenment delivered to your inbox every Friday
22 May 2015 ~

Great opportunity for Norwich and Middlesbrough in the play-off final this weekend. The winner will get to compete for the highly coveted 17th place trophy next season.

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Moneni150Badge of the week ~ Moneni Pirates FC, Swaziland
It is possible that Moneni Pirates FC have missed the point about pirates. Pirates are supposed to inspire fear and awe, surely? Maritime sighting of the skull and crossbones is meant to distress the blood and curdle the mind, but when the lad in the crow’s nest spots the little smiling skull on this flag he won’t experience anything more physiologically traumatic than a faint smile.



It is true that there was once a pirate captain, NiceBeard, who patrolled the Spanish Main, boarding ships only in order to give his infamous three-hour lectures on Islands I Have Visited, but most pirates were quite rough and had very little grasp of the concept of giving a good first impression. Whereas Moneni Pirates’ badge gives a very good first impression, one that inspires not fear in their opponents, but the hope of a nice plate of cucumber sandwiches in the players’ lounge. Cameron Carter

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Manchester City may have finished ahead of Arsenal, but Arsène Wenger has a nicer office than Manuel Pellegrini. Relatively speaking.

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Phil Jones’s headlong scamper will surely become the “Cruyff turn” of this decade.

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from Paul Cannon
“A fine effort by the Sunday Mirror’s reporter in offering a tantalising glimpse of a parallel world in which Nigel Pearson is admired by Steve McQueen.”

Escape400

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One thing we don’t see enough of football is people falling off podiums during trophy celebrations. So well done, Frank Lowy, president of the Australian FA.

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Also in the news this week
Troy Deeney: shirt connoisseur

Unorthodox goalkeeping in Turkey
Blackpool release 17 players – but not Nile Ranger

The Premier League Ineptitude Table

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