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11 July 2008 ~
Anyone who has managed to stay awake while reading reports about Frank Lampard's contractual wrangling with Chelsea may have noted a comment by his agent earlier this week that negotiations have been going on “for two years”. Nuclear non-proliferation treaties have been wrapped up quicker than that. So what have they been discussing for all this time? Our guess is that they have often been close to an agreement before Frank drops by after training to add a new proviso – the contract must be printed on a rare type of paper that needs to be imported from a remote region of China, or any agreed deal will be automatically terminated if the club canteen is ever unable to fulfil his dietary requests (which may involve big buckets of whipped cream to judge by the latest pre-season photos). Oh and he'll want a special pen for signing with because David Beckham bought an exclusive Montblanc to formally seal his attachment to Real Madrid – even though photos indicate that Real's president made do with a Biro.
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 Badge of the week
Gent is the third largest city in Belgium. It has a well preserved medieval town centre and was the birthplace of several famous people. Odd, then, that the football club's badge should feature a Native American chief whose sardonic expression is suggestive of a long-suffering spectator enduing another dismal home defeat – a slow handclap is going on around him but he'll sit it out with arms folded. Buffalo Bill's Wild West show visited Gent in the early 1900s, and must have made an enormous impression. Shortly afterwards the football club, which was founded in the 19th century, began to be known as De Buffalos. It took several decades, however, before this very loose connection to the American West was made into the club's rather sombre official logo. Of course, if it had been created in our brand-aware era, we'd have a beaming Disneyfied buffalo in football kit raising a cheery hoof in the approximation of a thumbs-up gesture. ---
Spotting players
Chris Font had a close encounter on Teesside
“A few years back for reasons I find hard to recall I found myself trapped in a hospitality suite at the Riverside Stadium with several Boro first teamers and Century FM ‘Legend’ Bernie Slaven. Looking round for something to amuse himself Bernie latched on to a TV-video remote control that was lying on a sideboard. He pointed it at Craig Hignett and pushed the mute button. Hignett, who was evidently well up on this sort of thing, promptly started moving his lips without making a sound. Hilarity ensued. Soon Phil Stamp and several youth-teamers had joined in on the act, switching off one another’s voices with never diminishing mirth and enjoyment. What would have happened if they’d discovered the rewind or fast-forward button heaven only knows. These days there are quite a lot of people round the Riverside who’d like to see somebody press the mute button on Bernie Slaven permanently but I found him to be quite a decent, friendly bloke all round.”
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Historic Football Websites No 12 ~ Classic Kits
Aside from a couple of experimental interludes, Manchester United’s home kit changed very little between 1902 and 1980, but since then there’s been a whole lot of meddling with the red shirt, plus a vast array of second and third kits. The club’s page at long-running site Classic Kits (“the original kit history site”) outlines at a glance the latter-day marketing of an item whose original intent was merely to help differentiate one team from another. There’s a load more useless pictorial knowledge to accumulate here, such as the fact QPR played for 30 years in Celtic’s green hoops or that serial kit-whores Crystal Palace had a special one-off strip just for a friendly against Real Madrid in 1962. Mind you, I’m sure that Aldershot used to play in sky blue with white shorts. Ian Plenderleith
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How to stir up interest in a biography of Owen Hargreaves? The editorial team at John Blake Publishing have set to it. The jacket text on the newly published Owen Hargreaves: The Biography of Manchester United's Midfield Maestro begins: “When England's 2-3 defeat to Croatia sent them spinning out of the Euro 2008 qualifiers, it had a seismic effect on the national game, with the knock-on effect costing the British economy an estimated £1.5 billion. That November night, many believed that with the scores locked at 2-2, England were through and that playing Owen Hargreaves in a holding role would ensure England's qualification. Therefore, it could be said that the failure to play Hargreaves set England's cause back years.”
It goes on: “The most overlooked player of the so-called ‘Golden Generation’, Hargreaves received little recognition from a catatonic press or public for his penetrating verve and unstinting performances in an England shirt.” Then there's: “Owen's journey from the foothills of Calgary to the Theatre of Dreams, via the crucible of Munich, is a 21st century fairy tale. Reserved, affable and highly articulate, Owen now has a global presence.” It's £17.99 in the shops, cheaper online – hurry before they sell out.
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WSC Trivia ~ No 23
We have several thousand subscribers, some of whom have been ordering WSC since the 1980s. There is also one would-be subscriber who regularly phones up with a credit-card order for a year's subscription, then phones back the following day to cancel. His details are always dutifully taken down just in case this is the time he decides to go through with it. We suspect that WSC is not the only magazine to be taunted in this manner – Cat World, Angling Times, Classic Bus and dozens more may also be held in a similar state of anticipation. One day we shall be released.
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Stickipedia
A mine of information constructed from sticker cards
 Mick Harby, Nottingham Forest Wonderful World of Soccer Stars 1968-69
The first Stickipedia nominated Colin Beesley as the most obscure player ever to have his own sticker, given that he made just three substitute appearances for Sunderland. But he has a rival. Forest goalkeeper Mike Harby spent longer on the pitch than our man Colin – three full League matches in 1967-68 – but his record suggests that he might have been substituted if the rules had allowed. In Harby's debut, on March 30,1968, Forest lost 3-0 at home to Sunderland. His other two games, one each in April and May of the same year, both ended in 6-1 defeats, at Wolves and Liverpool. None of these matches exists on film but we're guessing that Mick might have made the odd fumble here and there. He was released, quietly, in 1969. ---
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