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Anyone who has managed to stay awake while reading reports about Frank Lampard’s contractual wrangling may have noted a comment by his agent that negotiations with Chelsea been going on “for two years”. Nuclear non-proliferation treaties have been wrapped up quicker. So what have they been discussing for all this time? Our guess is that they have often been close to an agreement before Frank drops by after training to add a new proviso – the contract must be printed on a rare type of paper that needs to be imported from a remote region of China, or any agreed deal will be automatically terminated if the club canteen is ever unable to fulfil his dietary requests (which may involve big buckets of whipped cream to judge by the latest pre-season photos). As Lampard would be available for free in a year’s time, it was assumed that Chelsea would decide to cash in on the £140,000-a-week star while they can. Now it seems that Roman Abramovich is prepared to forgo a big fee for the sake of keeping Lampard for one last year. Of course Chelsea don’t really need money for any of their players – the fees they will receive for the various squad members gone or likely to be sold, including Steve Sidwell and Shaun Wright-Phillips, amount to pocket money for the club’s beaming benefactor. From WSC 259 September 2008 On the subject...
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