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1 February 2008 ~

Redknapp Watch. Monitoring the outbursts of the keenest man in Britain. Part 1
On 'Grand Slam Sunday', Jamie, King of the Interruptors, fell prey to a decisive counter-interrupt from Richard Keys. Steaming right through Ruud Gullit's words to give his own vital opinion of the Liverpool v Man Utd game, Redknapp was only halfway through his stormy thesis when Keys interrupted him with a crunching follow-up question. Confused by this, Jamie admitted that Liverpool's midweek game in Europe had been "crucial" to today's result, while not being "the be-all-and-end-all".
An interesting answer in that it agreed with Keys and disagreed with him at the same time. Dressed like an estate agent at a Great Aunt's funeral, Redknapp's relentlessly vigorous views were like those of a gobby junior player who just wants to be noticed by the first team.

Some people may find Jamie’s bright-eyed eagerness appealing but for us it just induces a cold fear in the pit of the stomach. You too? Let us know.

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Condensed Match Report of the Week
Tooting & Mitcham 2 Corinthian Casuals 0, Isthmian Division One (South) Jan 5 
Blustery conditions on the pitch and in the stands. Someone behind me burped in alarm at each Casuals attack. He needn’t have worried - the visitors, in a possibly traditional yet repellent kit of maroon and pink halved shirts with light blue shorts, wouldn’t have scored if it had gone on till 2010. First goal after 14 minutes, the second  a breakaway two minutes from time. As might have been expected, Casuals had a player with a double-barelled surname (Murray-Green) but Tooting, surprisingly, had two. No sign of Fabio Capello, though he may have been in mufti. 

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Why do the whistles used by football and rugby union referees sound different? The rugby referee's whistle makes a sound like a boozy chirrup, a short spluttering rasberry of a trill, while the football referee releases a thin, sharp peep. Do they use a different model of whistle or are the acoustics different in the grounds? Have behavioural psychologists found that the different types of sportsmen respond quicker to different sounds?

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Badge of the Week
Columbus Crew SC, from MLS have eschewed traditional crest images such as eagles, footballs and longswords and taken instead as themes for their club badge a combination of Stalinist worker-hero iconography and New York disco camp. While clearly  the intention is to motivate its players into giving 110 per cent  on the pitch (within permitted health & safety guidelines, as symbolised by the hard hats), the result is to mislead the casual observer into believing a group of celebrated male strippers is in town. Overlooked in the image, as usual, is the fact that white-collar workers such as Graphic Designers, Systems Analysts and Proctologists also work very hard for their take-home pay and would make just as good poster boys for industry and commitment as firefighters and construction workers.
Columbus Crew’s official website bears the banner slogan ‘One Nation. On the sod.’ This phrase, despite intensive examination by linguistic experts, has been shown to contain no meaning whatsoever.
Image: Wikipedia

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Poetic Commentaries
From Jim McKenzie, who says:
It's neither timely nor useful, but clearing up the house the other day, I discovered a bit of paper on which I'd feverishly scrawled John Motson's introduction to (presumably - I don't note it on the scrap) the February 2007 replay of Man U v Reading in the FA Cup, presented here in poem form as seems appropriate:

Outside there's a conference centre,
A luxury hotel,
An indoor training complex.
But I think what most of us appreciate,
(Those old enough to drive, anyway - heh!)
Is the location of the Madejski,
Just a mazy dribble
By Cristiano Ronaldo
Over a couple of roundabouts
Would take him onto Junction 11
Of the M4,
As that westbound motorway
Roars out of London
Through the Thames Valley
And onwards to Bristol
And Cardiff,
Where the Millenuim Stadium is still on standby
Just in case the new Wembley
Is not ready to stage
The final
From which
These two
Teams tonight
Are just
Three matches
Away.

I think, frankly, it speaks for itself.

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Slow News Day
This week's Slow News Day award goes to the Sun Online
'Jodie Eyes The Beautiful Game' (November 19) heralded the news that part-time celebrity and self-help failure Jodie Marsh was to be BBC Asian Network's guest commentator at the forthcoming Arsenal-Wigan game. Skilfully stretching this press-release to 50 words, Gavin Glicksman went on to report that:
~ Jodie Marsh cannot wait to get stuck-in for the digital radio station.
~ She may not be the next John Motson.
~ Football is 'the beautiful game'.
The story, for that is what it technically was, ended by quoting Marsh on the physicality of the sport: “I don't know much about football but I love men and seeing what they can do with their balls.” Sun readers were asked to discuss this development and, by the end of the 24-hour period, precisely two of them had complied.

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This week in history ~ February 2, 1974



A curious set of results with only 18 goals in 11 games, seven of which came from Ipswich, recording their biggest top level win.

Goalkeeper Eric Martin was one of three Southampton players who’d also played in the Saints’ 7-0 and 8-0 defeats at Leeds and Everton two seasons earlier. Unsurprisingly, he was to emigrate to America shortly afterwards. A traumatic afternoon for young sub Terry Spinner who was playing his second, and last game, for the Saints.

Man Utd’s defeat at Coventry was part of a seven game winless run that saw them drop into the bottom three, where they were to remain. The fans weren’t deterred though - their next match, a 2-0 home defeat by Leeds, was watched the division’s biggest crowd of the season - 60, 025.

Man City, by contrast, were feeling the pinch - less than 25,000 watched their goalless draw with Spurs although they were missing their entire international forward line of Rodney Marsh, Francis Lee and Denis Law; City were to finish the season with one of their lowest ever goal totals, just 39.

Future Welsh international Brian Flynn made his debut for Burnley in their draw at Arsenal and was the smallest player in the League at the time, at 5ft 2in - though he was only 17 and grew a bit subsequently.

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Spotted this week
Paul Scholes, with his scowling ginger children, shopping for computer games in the Trafford centre, Wilmslow where his son tripped over a display of games consoles. 

Ahmet Brkovic, Millwall’s Croatian midfielder, in Surrey Quays shopping centre, Bermondsey, looking at top of the range mircowaves in Dixons. Of more interest was the man Ahmet appeared to be with who was animatedly talking on a mobile which included saying: “I can open the door, Barry, but she has to walk through it...”

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Thrilling trivia from WSC. No 1
The latest edition of WSC contains three articles by unrelated people called Barker, plus a photo taken by another Barker. Try working that into a conversation and let us know how you got on.

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Stickipedia  
A mine of information constructed from sticker cards
Colin Beesley, Sunderland: ‘Wonderful World of Soccer Stars’ 1969-70
Colin made three appearances in his entire career, all as a sub with Sunderland in 1968-69 when aged 18. He was included in the squad for the following season’s sticker album but they couldn’t find a picture of him in action so had to  make do with him looking chilly on winter’s day.

What happened to Colin? Did he have to retire early or did he become a non League stalwart? Let us know if you know.

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League table courtesy of www.statto.com: the place to go for football stats & odds comparison – English & Scottish stats from 1871 plus European & International

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