John Chapman explains why the Belgian FA is making it tough for clubs
In a country with 18 political parties and three official languages, it’s no surprise the Belgian FA has labyrinthine regulations. Euro 2000 supremo and ex-FA official Alain Courtois once commented: “They’re so complicated, I’m totally lost.” Recently, those same regulations have swung into action as economic realism hit Belgian football with a vengeance.
Former Belgium goalkeeper Jean-Marie Pfaff now has his own reality TV show, much in the mould of The Osbournes, which John Chapman has watched
The Art Nouveau gates swing open to a soundtrack reminiscent of Dynasty and Dallas. We’re already thinking JR. The characters are introduced: Nicolas and Debbie on the tennis court, Sam and Kelly by the pool, “Bompa” pouring himself another drink and Lyndsey jumping out of a 4×4. There’s Jean-Marie checking the financial news, while his loyal wife Carmen keeps an eye on what’s cooking in the American-style kitchen. But this is no soap. It’s The Pfaffs, Flemish TV’s answer to The Osbournes, and it’s a massive success.
Belgium have everything in place to host next year’s European Championship, except a reasonable football team. Jan Antonissen reports on the co-hosts’ disarray
What the hell is wrong with Belgian football? At the 1998 World Cup Belgium were clearly the most cowardly team. The team didn’t lose in France, not even to the Dutch, yet they were sent home after the first round. Since last summer, the inappropriately named Red Devils have even lost the ability to draw. They lost five games in a row, and on March 30th were humiliated by Egypt in front of an outraged crowd in Liège. Belgium has become a Third World football nation.
Cris Freddi looks back at the highs and lows of the European Championship. Guess which category England appear most in
1960: USSR 2, Yugoslavia 1 aet (Paris)
The Soviets were a little lucky to reach the last four, the Fascist government having withdrawn Spain from the quarter-final, but once there they were generally in charge, conceding only one goal in the two matches while wearing down the Czechs (3-0) and the skilful Yugoslavs, their big centre-forward Viktor Pondelnik scoring the winner in extra time. Yugoslavia consoled themselves by winning the Olympic title later that year. To no-one’s surprise, then or now, none of the British countries entered.
Player of the tournament: Lev Yashin, prominent in match reports and beaten only once by a deflection from his captain Igor Netto.
Cock-up of the tournament: Anything by the French defence. Leading 4-2 with a quarter of an hour to go in the semi-final with Yugoslavia, they concede three in three minutes.
Marcelle van Hoof's international top ten of awful football songs include examples of the crooning footballer, the hideous cover version by a team, the good cause song and the (unintentionally) funny interview
1. JOHAN CRUYFF: Oei Oei Oei (Dat Was Me Weer Een Loei) (1969, Polydor) When recording this single, Cruyff’s singing voice turned out to be even more out of tune than the studio personnel had expected. They didn’t know what to do. A friend who accompanied Cruyff to the studio suggested they give him a drink. Cruyff, who never drinks, accepted. After a while, when the atmosphere was more ‘relaxed’, they put Cruyff in front of the microphone again and his tipsy singing proved good enough to use. However, a couple of days later he was invited to sing his song (which roughly translates as ‘oh, oh, oh, yet another blow’ and is not about football, but about a friend of Cruyff being beaten up at a boxing match, then during a visit to a pub and then by his wife…) live on national television. Unfortunately he was sober again and only shyly mumbled the words he could remember, while staring at the ground. Cruyff has a reputation for being a know-all. No matter what subject (the weather, politics, cooking), he has a strong opinion about it. This must have been the only time in his life that he was lost for words.