Dear WSC
I write to you concerning Simon Creasey’s fascinating article Parting Shots (WSC 259), in which Ignacio Palacios-Huerta of the London School of Economics describes that, in penalty shootouts, the team that taking a penalty first wins 60.5 per cent of the time. He then goes on to say that the team kicking first “has a 21 per cent greater probability of winning the shootout”. I don’t cast doubt on Mr Palacios-Huerta’s abilities as a statistician, but it is possible that he meant 21 per cent more probability of winning. If Team X has a 60.5 per cent probability of winning, then Team Y therefore has a 39.5 per cent probability. Team X’s probability is [(((60.5 / 39.5) -1) x 100) =] 53 per cent greater than Team Y’s of winning the shootout. Or, in other words, that Team X wins 21 per cent more matches means that their chances are 53 per cent better than Team Y’s for any given shootout. We can be sure that this is precisely what was going through Rio Ferdinand’s head after extra time in Moscow.
Patrick Finch, Eskilstuna, Sweden
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Stories
Dear WSC
How’s this for a delicious sense of irony? Brentford v Colchester United, Tuesday February 18, 2003. 1) On a freezing cold night when almost everyone wishes they’d stayed indoors, the Bees put in a dreadful first-half display and are roundly booed off the pitch. 2) In an effort to placate the home fans, Brentford decide to play the D:Ream hit Things Can Only Get Better over the tannoy. 3) Immediately the song finishes, the club announces the match has been abandoned at half time. If only the Bees’ strike force was as good as their comic timing.
Eddie Hutchinson, Ashford
Dear WSC
Surely the insouciant arrogance with which David Elleray slithers to cover up his mistakes cannot be unconnected with his day job? Who remembers a school teacher who ever admitted to getting something wrong? Of course, as a servant of the privileged classes, Elleray performs his role with a polished charm, his eyes glinting like a demented pterodactyl. But beyond this saurian resemblance, I can’t be the only person to notice that the penalty he gave against Sean Dyche, for obstruction outside the area, was a carbon copy of the dreadful decision he gave against Frank Sinclair when he came shoulder to shoulder outside the box with the dying swan of the Ukrainian ballet, Andrei Kanchelskis, in the 1994 Cup Final. It’s time this man was confined to the playing fields of Harrow.
Martin Humphrey, London SW4
Dear WSC,
I am writing, still shocked by one of the worst performances I have witnessed on a football pitch in 25 years of attending. I refer to the half-time ‘entertainment’ provided by comedian (sic) Stan Boardman at the Liverpool v Charlton Cup tie. Being a Charlton supporter but living in the Midlands I cannot afford to be too snooty about the North/South divide, but events such as those witnessed can only provide fuel for the debate. To their credit the Liverpool crowd met Boardman’s ‘jokes’ with stony silence. One example quoted here might give the flavour of this man’s exceptional wit: “Jan Molby’s gone to Swansea, but they had to cancel the match yesterday, they couldn’t get the sheep off the pitch.”If I hadn’t seen this man’s pathetic attempts to get a laugh, I would have sworn it was a pisstake with Bobby Chariot on a bad night. Dying a spectacular death at the Kop end, Boardman took the chorus of “Who are yer?” from the Charlton end as some form of encouragement and tried to engender some banter there, but failed to notice the sarcastic laughter emitting from a now convulsed away end. Had I been a Liverpool supporter, I would have cringed with embarrassment, and someone from the groundstaff finally twigged, leading Boardman away by the arm down the tunnel from which, one hopes, he will never again darken an Anfield which only 45 minutes previously had seen 36,000 people from both sets of supporters stand in silent tribute to Bob Paisley. My advice to Swansea – don’t get Stan Boardman for your half-time entertainment unless you want to hear some very bad jokes about yourself – it’s unlikely that he’s got the imagination to change his material.
John Salvatore, Birmingham