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posted 09-09-2010 03:53
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Cutting a sandwich is the gustatory equivalent of applying the clinical finish. It's simply good etiquette.
I would have done the same as Suarez. It's cheating fair and square within the rules.
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posted 09-09-2010 09:12
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Suarez is a shitbag and what he did was vile. As John Charles said, "if you have to cheat to win then the game's not worth playing".
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posted 09-09-2010 09:38
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Er Liquidatore wrote:
What Suarez did was magnificent. He sacrificed his own reputation for his fellow countrymen, and saved the day for plucky Uruguay. Who's with me?
So by this logic we should change the name of the sport to 'Foot(and-hand-when-it-suits-us)ball'.
Seriously. If we're going to advocate the arbitrary abandoning of fundamental rules willy-nilly, then the game needs to change its name to reflect this new 'anything goes' ethos.
Suarez cheated. Even more sickeningly, he went on to play the whole 'hand of god' gambit. If anyone thinks Maradonna's original episode somehow set a good example, let this stand as evidence to the contrary.
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Last Edit: 09-09-2010 09:39 By evilski.
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posted 09-09-2010 10:18
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He didn't cheat, he fouled. Please don't make us have this discussion again.
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posted 09-09-2010 13:27
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Cutting my sandwich without even asking me is bang out of order.
Handball is, of course, deliberate. If it isn't deliberate (as Yoss says, as used within football) then it isn't handball. "Deliberate handball" is a tautology. "Corner ball" is just annoying. But funny.
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posted 09-09-2010 13:35
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What would be even worse is if they cut it into triangles without asking. Bastards.
Plus: yeah, what TonTon said. If it's a handball, it's deliberate. If it's not a handball (ball-to-hand, my favourite commentatorism) then it's not deliberate. Shurely?
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posted 09-09-2010 14:20
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Two triangles is fine, it's just cutting it in to four that's annoying. Unless it's as part of a sandwich platter garnished with crisps in a hotel bar after midnight, of course.
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posted 09-09-2010 14:23
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"crisps"?
Peasant.
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posted 09-09-2010 14:28
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I can't be the only one who thinks the juxtaposition of hand-ball transgressions and sandwich-cutting etiquette makes this message board what it is.
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posted 09-09-2010 14:37
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What're you sayin', like?
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posted 09-09-2010 14:41
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Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote:
"crisps"?
Peasant.
It can be posh crisps, of course.
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posted 09-09-2010 15:03
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Sandwiches should only be cut into 4 (small triangles) when there's cucumber in them.
I don't even cut my sandwiches in half, personally.
That is the most manly thing I do, though.
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posted 09-09-2010 15:09
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I don't even cut my sandwiches in half, personally.
That is the most manly thing I do, though.
Ordering the kitchen staff to bloody well do it for you, followed by a stern little growl?
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posted 09-09-2010 16:40
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If you're going to cut them in half, cut them horizontally across, not diagonally. I have no idea why triangular sandwiches get on my nerves, but they do.
Possibly more than intentional handballs.
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posted 09-09-2010 17:34
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Toasties are allowed to be triangles. That's how God made them.
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posted 09-09-2010 18:17
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Breville ones? Two sealed triangles, if course.
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posted 09-09-2010 19:02
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As the freekick that Ghana nearly scored from should never have been given in the first place, it was a blatant dive, I've a fair bit of sympathy for Suarez.
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posted 10-09-2010 17:30
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Sandwiches should only be cut into 4 triangles on special occasions such as birthdays,communions and funerals etc.
Suarez sacrificed himself for the team it was almost like a Tale of Two Cities only on a footy pitch.
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posted 10-09-2010 21:41
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Sydney Carton's disciplinary sanction was of a slightly more long-term nature and he wouldn't have been able to return to enjoy the fruits of his sacrifice in the final. But other than that, an almost perfect analogy.
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posted 10-09-2010 22:35
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Thank you. I've always quite liked Raith.
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MESSAGE BOARD 
