As for a World Cup crossover, whomever "Badger John" is, he did a great job on dailykos...
www.dailykos.com/story/2010/6/11/121539/630
We need something to keep us from getting too suicidal from the Gulf spill, and the Cup is here for that. Besides, we can take a little revenge on England tomorrow.
The real problem for most noobs is a frame of refererce: How good are we, anyway? Why does Brazil win all the time? Shouldn't Russia, China and India be really, really good? So to help, match up the team you're curious about with the NCAA football team you know and love (or hate).
* Badgerjohn's diary :: ::
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Brazil is...Texas: Their castoffs are stars around the world. The only problem they have is what 11 to put on the field, and meeting their perennially-stratospheric expectations. Unlike Longhorn fans, however, Brazilians are famously charitable, sportsmanlike and gracious winners compared to their Austin counterparts.
Spain is...Alabama: Offensive-minded and star-studded, they finally have the "this is our year" aura about them. Their workaholic coach knows not to conduct a complete overhaul when a simple fine-tune will do.
England is...Ohio State: Tradition-heavy and always full of drama, it's a team that is most representative of the state of the sport...for good and for ill. Although a formidable team now, they seem forever stuck on past glories.
Germany is...Michigan: Down a bit from past efforts and not possessing the firepower that's expected, they still command respect and have the personnel to remain in the running. However, respect only gets a team so far.
Argentina is...Oklahoma: A reliable fountain of talent and always a member of the short list, The 1980's was both their highest point (1986 Cup win/1985 Orange Bowl) and darkest moment (Maradona's heavy coke habit/Charles Thompson's shooting spree and NCAA sanctions). Recently, a team that can't get the big win when needed.
Mexico is...Oklahoma State: Expectations are always high, but never as high as the teams they eventually face. Suffering from fragile confidence, they suffer the same problem as most teams hoping the reach the next level: just when they start getting the respect they deserve, they stop deserving it.
USA is....Cincinnati: Hardly a blip on the radar 20 years ago, they forced their way into the conversation with a weak conference/continent and a few bloody noses to top teams. The Sugar Bowl exposed a lack of depth for the Bearcats, a problem the Yanks also face.
South Africa is...San Diego State: In the preparation to host the big dance, they've turned back the pessimism and are ready to be great hosts. As for the team, however, they won't be using their shiny new stadiums as the setting for many victories.
France is...Tennessee: 1998 was their day in the sun, but recent years haven't been that kind to them, needing all kinds of help and small miracles just to finish in the running. Also a recent history of completely insane coaches.
Uruguay is...Notre Dame: In the infancy of both sports, they took all the attention and still feast on that history. Still regarded as regulars in the running, they aren't relevant once the competition pares down to the real contenders.
Italy is...USC: Everything you hate about the sport: Corruption, cheap shots, diving, thuggery, the sense of entitlement, a legion of douchebags who make up a huge chunk of their fan base (not to mention roster)...This is the team that the "Jersey Shore" cast is most likely to cheer for. Let that sink in.
Algeria/Slovenia/Honduras/North Korea/New Zealand are...Conference USA: Thanks for coming, boys, now take your beatings like men. There might be a potential breakout from this bunch (Honduras/Houston), but that's a decade down the road.
Denmark/Slovakia/Switzerland/Greece are...The Big 12 North: There are some good teams there to be sure, but no one that will cause any waves or excitement. And like the Big 12 North, Europe's second tier is only good by association.
Ghana is...Boise State: They will be the first African/Non-BCS Champion, just not this time. Both have experienced a solid upswing in recent years, and scare establishment types to death. The Black Stars won the Under-17 World Cup last year, which would be like the Broncos locking down 20 of the Top 50 high school recruits.
Ivory Coast is...TCU: Also a possiblity to break the establishment stranglehold on the title, the Elephants/Horned Frogs are heavy with pure athletic talent and nomenclature. Not to mention snappy uniforms.
Australia is...Minnesota: Both teams are loved, but not the major sports of interest in their area (Aussies dig rugby and cricket, Minny U people are hoops and hockey fans). Most likely to be the team of choice for casual female viewers, with their scruffy white-boy charm and cute nicknames (Socceroos/Golden Gophers)
South Korea is...Texas Tech: Their mode is stuck in attack at all times, and they often don't play defense even when reminded. They rarely make the push into the top echelons, but have given enough upsets to start grudges (Spain and Italy/Oklahoma and Texas).
Nigeria is...Hawai'i: A breeding ground of talent bedeviled by inconsistency and a lack of real area challenges. They could become a true contender if they got their act together, but risk getting passed by their peers.
Cameroon is...Fresno State: One of the first "look out for these guys" teams, and still staying consistenly dangerous, although not quite as thrilling to watch as most of their African/Mid-Major counterparts.
Holland is...Florida State: Many past players and coaches are icon who made quantum leaps in the way the sport was played, and left scant few dull moments...at least, until the inevitable tragic end of each title run.
Serbia is...West Virgina: Both are violent, backwards mountainous regions with a history of separatist sentiment, as well as the setting for all kinds of jokes about incest and squalor. And both teams are solid, consistent performers that have few weaknesses.
Japan is...Northwestern: Pouring money and attention into the team in recent years, they have made the Cup/Bowl Games a regular occurance, and are also a popular choice of hipsters. Still unable to bridge the gap between regional respect and global contention.
Paraguay is...Arkansas: You know what happens in football when you have great skill players but no good linemen? The same thing happens in soccer when you have good forwards and defenders but no midfielders.
Portugal is...Georgia: Every year, full of confidence, a loaded roster, loyal support, a high ranking and an uncanny talent to lay an egg at the worst possible time.
Chile is...BYU: A team that can pull out a goal from anywhere at any time, and can concede a score in the most baffling way. Has a chance in a shootout, but not against a disciplined team.
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