I saw them (there are a load of others) floating around the place ages ago on message boards, usually posted by our fans on our messageboards to general amusement.

Really? Very weird behaviour but there you go...

One from the early 90's chanted by various teams playing Liverpool

"He's fat,
He's scouse,
He'll rob your fucking house,
He's St*v* McM*h*n"

Just as an aside, I hope we're not potentially getting WSC into hot water with these? Admins?

The_Liquidator wrote:
I'm pretty sure they're singing

The city is ours,
The city is ours,
fuck off back to London,
The city is ours

Which is trading on a stereotype I doubt any City fans really believe is true.

When they play us, their songs are about Stockport being full of City fans. They probably ought to decide whether shunning your local team for a Manchester club is a good thing or a bad thing, and stick to singing one or the other. Can't have it both ways.

Peterborough away in 2008 generated some classics:

He beats up his wife,
He beats up his wife,
The spawn of Fergie,
He beats up his wife

Oh oh here he comes
Watch out girls he'll beat you up,
Oh oh here he comes
He's a wife-beater

I always think that:

Lee bums Bell
Bell bums Lee
They both bum Mike Summerbee
With a knick-knack paddy-whack
Give the dog a bone
Why don't City fuck off home

To be such a quintessentially 70s offering that you can almost hear the flares flapping in the breeze.

Charlton had this doing the rounds a few years ago:
Oh Andy Hunt,
he plays up front.
Oh Andy Hunt,
he plays up front.
He's got a name like a fanny.
Oh Andy Hunt, he plays up front.

The_Liquidator wrote:


Fuck off, Chelsea FC,
You ain't got no history,
Frank Lampard's fat and all the rest are queer,
And you ain't won the league in 49 years

Which in turn is half pinched from West ham who sing

Fuck off, Chelsea FC,
You ain't got no history,
Lampard's fat
Joe Cole's queer,
And you're gonna win fuck all this year

The rest of that Terry one (one of a few I think) could be:

Chelsea wherever you may be
Don't leave your wife with John Terry
His Dad deals coke
His Mum steals tea
And he cried when he lost the captaincy

Chelsea wherever you may be
Don't leave your wife with John Terry
He cannot shoot
And he can't fucking pass
But he'll take your missus up the arse

Terry Yorath got some stick off the Pop Side at Doncaster after he'd been in trouble for running over a woman whilst drink driving, though I forget which club he was with at the time. Pick of the unpleasant chants was...

He'll drive
His car
Right over your grandma
Terry Yorath, Terry Yorath

"You're supposed to..." has always been a good basis for new chants.

I seem to recall ManU fans chanting "you're supposed to be in jail" to Lee Bowyer circa 2001.

And didn't Gianfranco Zola regularly get chants of "you're supposed to be a gnome"? Or was that someone else?

"You're supposed to..."

Brighton responding to the various gay chants with:

'You're too ugly to be gay'

Always made me laugh.

originally by one of their fife rivals, now sung by anyone visiting Cowdenbeath's Central Park (to the Addams Family Theme)

They're dirty and they're smelly,
they come from near Lochgelly
They can't afford a telly,
the Cowden family.

also to the same tune:

Your sister is your mother
your father is your brother
you all shag one another
the <insert rival town name> family

the first one has been aired on TV i'm sure, but not sure if the 2nd one has ever been "reported". or if so, why.

Antonio Gramsci wrote:
I seem to recall ManU fans chanting "you're supposed to be in jail" to Lee Bowyer circa 2001.

Around the same time, Newcastle fans v Leeds, to the tune of "Hey Baby":
Hey Lee Bowyer
We wanna know
Why you're not in jail

some blackburn fans were recently convicted of chanting a song about owen coyle, paedophilia and natives of the indian sub-continent.

don't know about "political correctness gone mad" but there is a limit to what i would call harmless banter.

That's the sort of thing I think SR was on about at the start of the thread, I think. You'd have to have fans of Chelsea, Arsenal and West Ham and their casual use of the word 'yid' or 'yiddo' when singing about Tottenham (yes, yes I know they use it too).

Charlton had this doing the rounds a few years ago:
Oh Andy Hunt,
he plays up front.
Oh Andy Hunt,
he plays up front.
He's got a name like a fanny.
Oh Andy Hunt, he plays up front

Ah, Andy Hunt. I love him. As all Albion fans do. And he's quite well disposed to us too. I remember the last game of one season, our first under Megson, where we had to avoid defeat against Charlton to stay up. I swear I never saw him play a forward pass for Charlton all afternoon.

They had a slightly different version of the song at the Hawthorns. (Changes italicised for ease of comparison).

Oh Andy Hunt,
is good up front.
Oh Andy Hunt,
is good up front.
He's got a name that rhymes with fanny.
Oh Andy Hunt, is good up front

I thought about contributing to this thread but ours always get reported, normally to UEFA or the UN.

Still, if this thread is typical of what people find sick, cruel or politically dodgy at football matches these days probably better you stay clear of parts of Glasgow.

I attended an Old firm match at Parkhead in the mid 80s shortly after the Celtic chairman, Desmond White, had died. 2 guys climbed up into the rafters of the old Rangers end terrace at Parkhead and unfurled a banner, one of those home made bedspread/spray can types, bearing the legend 'Desmond White sucks cocks in hell'. The Glasgow polis went nuts, however short of using snipers there was no way to get the guys down, the Celtic support that could read it, which was a good few, went apoplectic attacking police and stewards in an attempt to get at us.

Needless to say the 2 guys up in the rafters had no intention of coming down knowing they were going straight to gaol. So we had the surreal sight of police and Celtic stewards fighting with and arresting Celtic fans who were trying to get over the fence into the Rangers end whilst 8,000 or so of us sang the words printed on the bed sheet.

I'm not even going to start on the Celtic Boys Club stuff, although that isn't exclusive to us, which isn't much of a defence I know.

That celtic boys club stuff is unfair. Celtic were just doing what every other Irish catholic institution were doing to children. It's getting to the point where I believed that they were under the delusion that that was what you were supposed to do.

Ji-Sung wherever you may be
You may eat dogs in your own country
But it could be worse
You could be Scouse
Eating rats in your council house

---

(Wonderballs)

Defeat, the word is on the street
That you've gone and signed a superstar
Its not Hagi, its only Nigel Clough
And some guy to rival Cantona
I don't believe that anybody feels so bitter
About it noooow

So Fraaaanny
You're gonna be the one that saves me...
But with Alan Ball...
We're gonna win fuck all...

AMMS's post has made me laugh and reminds me of another homemade banner, which in no way rude, has always stayed with me.

Newcastle were playing in Europe in the late 90's and were playing in Monaco, home of the super rich.

The banner said:

BMX FOR SALE
£8 ONO

Two from the red side of the Merseyside derby on Saturday

Your captain's a Manc
Your captain's a Manc
You stupid bastards
Your captain's a Manc!

and, aimed at Yakubu

You're just a fat Purple Aki...

Background Aki info here