Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
Posts: 6670
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posted 08-03-2010 11:53
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Wake Up Little Susie
Obviously their most pressing problem is that her parents forbid them from ever seeing each other again, but probably a more serious underlying problem is that when faced with a dull movie rather than chatting or making out they just watched till they fell asleep. Not much chemistry there.
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posted 08-03-2010 13:15
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I Want To Know What Love Is
If I were the object of the singer's desire, I'd tell him not to come back until he's tidied up his patter a little bit. One moment he's claiming not to know his arse from his elbow when it comes to love, a few seconds later he's claiming to be "feeling so much" of the stuff.
If you're going to bullshit people, you silly sod, think things through properly before opening your mouth.
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posted 08-03-2010 15:48
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Young Girl
'Nuff said, surely. The coppers will break this relationship up sharpish. See also: Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen, probably the creepiest pop song not called He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss).
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Last Edit: 08-03-2010 15:49 By Ginger Yellow.
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posted 08-03-2010 16:06
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The Girl With the Wandering Eye - Wreckless Eric's Hitsville House Band.
Brilliant.
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erwin
on the side of caution
Posts: 2749
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posted 09-03-2010 09:23
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Lonnie Donnegan, you complete oaf. Didn't the name Lorelei make you just the slightest bit suspicious?
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Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
Posts: 6670
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posted 09-03-2010 10:05
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Ballad Of A Teenage Queen
Ostensibly a tale of love conquering all, but really it seems that the main motivation for her loving him is that he works at the candy store. Particularly after the body image pressure of Hollywood, it's likely that she is just going to pig out when she gets back. And as there is no evidence that his feelings for her go deeper than the glamour that attracted every boy in town, how long will that last when she is no longer the prettiest girl around. Doomed.
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posted 09-03-2010 10:38
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Yo baby, you got to cut that garbage off. Yo! I wanna watch
the game. Hey yo, lemme tell you a little som'in: I'm
'a take all your soaps, an' then I'm gonna hang 'em on a rope. You know what
I'm sayin'? 'Cause that garbage your watchin' don't make no sense. Hey yo,
lemme tell you a little som'in baby: I'm 'a take your set an' I'm 'a throw it
out the window. G's.
It looks to me, Flav, that there's more to this than just the TV.
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posted 09-03-2010 11:59
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I Love To Love
A lot of women would give their eye teeth for a bloke who'd rather trip the light fantastic than stand round the edge of the dancefloor staring morosely into his pint. Yet all Tina Charles can do is complain that her chap doesn't want to stay home every night and get jiggy. Poor bugger.
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posted 09-03-2010 12:10
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I hope Tina wakes him up before she go-goes.
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Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
Posts: 6670
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posted 09-03-2010 15:04
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GY, it'd be easy to do a mix album of dodgy songs like that. Take Fats Domino' Little School Girl
"Your momma told me you'd gone out to play,
Hey little school girl are you going my way?
[...]
Hey little school girl I want you for myself,
If I can't have you, you won't belong to no-one else"
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posted 09-03-2010 17:56
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Sure enough. Sixteen was the implied — if not legal — age of consent in pop-music during the fifties and sixties and there are shed-loads of songs associated with it.
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posted 09-03-2010 19:01
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It's not just the sixteen thing, though, in Happy Birthday... It's the fact that he's going on about how he's wanted to shag her since she was an infant.
Also, it's interesting how the standard "you're mine forever" trope of love songs seems really fucking weird in this context.
But since you've grown up
Your future is sewn up
From now on you're gonna be fine
cf that Fats Domino song
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posted 09-03-2010 20:11
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Alessandro Nesta Mahdi wrote:
Yo baby, you got to cut that garbage off. Yo! I wanna watch
the game. Hey yo, lemme tell you a little som'in: I'm
'a take all your soaps, an' then I'm gonna hang 'em on a rope. You know what
I'm sayin'? 'Cause that garbage your watchin' don't make no sense. Hey yo,
lemme tell you a little som'in baby: I'm 'a take your set an' I'm 'a throw it
out the window. G's.
It looks to me, Flav, that there's more to this than just the TV.
I think it's pretty evident that he's changed his mind on that score, though.
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posted 10-03-2010 08:55
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Lovin' You
An insatiable desire for sexual congress to the exclusion of all else does not a happy relationship make, Ms Riperton. It may sound all right in the early stages, but the novelty wears off sooner or later, I'll tell you that for nothing.
Why don't you try going out for a meal together or visiting a museum, just the two of you, or even taking up ballroom dancing or attending cookery classes as a couple? Because one of these days, your chap, for whatever reason, is going to be on the flop and what are you going to do with yourself then? You can sit around saying "I want, I want, I want" until you're blue in the face, but it's not going to make him feel any better about himself (if anything, it'll only make things worse). And it's not going to make him get wood, either.
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Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
Posts: 6670
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posted 10-03-2010 17:09
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Mick, you may think that it's a good thing that your girl now dresses down and only speaks to you when she's spoken too, but in time you'll realise that she's a much duller person than the one you fell for and the relationship is less rewarding.
Plus, in time she's bound to realise what a prick you are.
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posted 10-03-2010 17:15
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There's always the stalker's anthem, Every Breath You Take. You'd need to call the bloody Police if anyone talked to you like that.
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posted 10-03-2010 17:32
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Listen, Al, mate, do you really know how far a million miles is? That's forty laps of the equator. By the time you've walked that, your mother'll probably have died of old age. If the constant fretting over your well-being in countries where she just knows the food won't agree with you doesn't kill her first, of course.
So why don't you promise her something a little more realistic? "I'd pop in unexpectedly on the way home from work / take you out for a Sunday roast with all the trimmings / bare my backside in Trafalgar Square for one of your smiles", something like that. She won't love you any less for it, you know.
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posted 10-03-2010 17:36
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The Stalker's National Anthem is actually this song
Closer to You by Betty Harris
I made you think
You don't understand
But remember I'm only doing
The best I can
Every little thing I do
I'm just trying to get
Closer to you
(Nearer, nearer)
I'm sorry if I seem,
A little bit stubborn sometimes
I hope I'm not being
A nuisance to you
I know you said
That you'd be home soon
But I got to be nearer
Nearer to you
Every little thing I do
I'm just trying to get
Closer to you
(Nearer, nearer)
Every little thing I do
I'm just trying to get
Closer to you
I got to be nearer
Nearer to you
[Brilliant haunted, semi-hysterical vocal performance, btw.]
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Last Edit: 10-03-2010 17:37 By The Purple Cow.
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posted 10-03-2010 19:04
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Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat
It just wasn't meant to be.
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Last Edit: 11-03-2010 08:59 By treibeis.
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