WSC Logo



SEARCH  

Advanced search

dig
ROB

Weekly Howl

A mixture of comment, fact and captivating trivia via email

Sign up

Follow WSC

 twitter

NEWSFEEDS

sstore

 

HOME arrow MESSAGE BOARD
Message Board
Welcome, Guest
Worst. Crosser of the Ball. Ever.
(1 viewing) 1 Guest
Go to bottom
TOPIC: Worst. Crosser of the Ball. Ever.
#351620
Garamczy Antal
Mysterious Dwarf
Posts: 9376
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: TFC, for my sins. Tom Hanks (sorry, Ly) In God We Trust; All Others Require Data Location: Northern Ontario Birthday: 03/31
posted 14-03-2010 02:20

 
Theo Walcott, hands down. Jesus, he is useless. He can never get any height on the ball, and so it always banks uselessly off the shins of some defender long before it comes near to troubling the keeper.

Sure, he's dangerous with the jinky runs, but if he's expected to play on the wing, shouldn't he learn the rather basic skill of how to put the ball into the area on a consistent basis?
 
Logged Logged
 
#351623
NickSTFU
Posts: 551
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Shrewsbury Town, Ressies, Youth and Ladies. Gender: Male Any short, fat, ugly bloke, Danny DeVito? Like them all. Or books. Live and let live. I don't think that deeply about music. Location: Shrewsbury Birthday: 03/01
posted 14-03-2010 07:22

 
I'm pretty shit at that skill.

But then I've never been a pro.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351633
dotmund
Posts: 454
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Brighton and Hove Albion Gender: Male Tony Hancock dotmund Ginger Nut The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, aged 13¾ Bi-polar Dusty in Memphis Location: West Sussex Birthday: 04/14
posted 14-03-2010 08:53

 
You've not lived until you've seen Peter Smith cross a football after a boundingly enthusiastic lope down the wing from right-back. In the days of the Goldstone Ground, Peter Smith used to be able to land every cross right on the head of someone having a picnic in Hove Park.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351638
Cavalry Trouser Tips
Posts: 6469
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Gender: Male
posted 14-03-2010 09:36

 
I used to always get too much height on my running crosses. I could take a good corner though.

I play in goal now - my tricky winger days are long gone.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351714
brian potter
Posts: 282
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Mangotsfield & Bristol City Gender: Male The Wedding Present Location: I can read and write. No, I don't own a tractor. Birthday: 07/28
posted 14-03-2010 18:06

 
Junior Bent is yer man here.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351718
waterlooroader
Posts: 25
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Ards / Wolves Gender: Male Half man Half... The day we take it seriously is the end Blood on the tracks Location: Wolverhampton
posted 14-03-2010 18:35

 
You have obviously never seen Matt Jarvis use his burst of pace to get past the full-back, create the ideal crossing position and then hit the first man with admirable consistency (Even if I did enjoy his goal yesterday)
 
Logged Logged
 
#351721
Bryaniesta
Posts: 4076
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Ajax, Cork City, Crystal Palace Chocolate Kimberley Orbital 2 & Toot & Maytals - Funky Kingston Location: Skåne
posted 14-03-2010 18:44

 
Aiden McGeady.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351723
Harry Truscott
Mango & lime half chicken, spicy rice, macho peas.
Posts: 12333
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Cardiff City & Wales Forest Whitaker Custard Cream 3 Bits of Fry & Laurie - The Complete Scripts Jaded Axe Attack Location: Lets take a ride and run with the dogs tonight Birthday: 12/11
posted 14-03-2010 18:52

 
Crossing the ball at all seems to have gone largely out of fashion though. Every wide player wants to cut in and shoot or just hammer the ball in to Ron Atkinson's "corridor of uncertainty".

Another thing that almost seems to have dissapeared as a consequence is the cutback. I bloody love a good cutback to around the penalty spot from the goal line but I can go not only whole seasons but entire managerial eras without seeing a Cardiff player execute one.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351735
Tony C
hardly bothers any more.
Posts: 2249
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Manchester City and Droylsden Gender: Male Someone who can do old and tired Tim-Tams Those who can, do.... Katy Lied by Steely Dan Location: Warrington Birthday: 04/02
posted 14-03-2010 19:56

 
Elano.

Never failed to hit the first man.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351736
Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
Posts: 6670
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
So much beauty out there
posted 14-03-2010 19:57

 
"Crossing the ball at all seems to have gone largely out of fashion though."

With the exception of Valencia who has a Stanley Matthews like purity of "beat full back, put ball on centre forwards head towards the back post, do nothing else" thing going on.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351738
Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
Posts: 6670
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
So much beauty out there
posted 14-03-2010 19:58

 
Walcott's inability to cross would be less aggravating if he could pass or shoot instead, sadly he can't do either. Still, maybe eventually he'll do a Lennon and it will click.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351741
Cavalry Trouser Tips
Posts: 6469
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Gender: Male
posted 14-03-2010 20:02

 
brian potter wrote:
Junior Bent is yer man here.

He was hilarious. David Beresford was in a similar vein too - run as fast as hell, only just about having control of the ball, before smacking the cross fuck-knows-where.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351743
Cavalry Trouser Tips
Posts: 6469
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Gender: Male
posted 14-03-2010 20:05

 
Harry Truscott wrote:
Another thing that almost seems to have dissapeared as a consequence is the cutback. I bloody love a good cutback to around the penalty spot from the goal line but I can go not only whole seasons but entire managerial eras without seeing a Cardiff player execute one.

Look at this perfect example from that tricky winger... er... Berbatov.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351751
steaua power
Posts: 457
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
posted 14-03-2010 20:58

 
Cavalry Trouser Tips wrote:
Harry Truscott wrote:
Another thing that almost seems to have dissapeared as a consequence is the cutback. I bloody love a good cutback to around the penalty spot from the goal line but I can go not only whole seasons but entire managerial eras without seeing a Cardiff player execute one.

Look at this perfect example from that tricky winger... er... Berbatov.


Disagree. That wasn't so much a cutback as Berbatov passing to the only person on his side in the penalty area.

I tried to find an example of a real cutback on Youtube, but it was full of the usual videos of PES taken on someone's phone, sometimes with a Nickelback soundtrack.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351755
Georgeous George
"You're going home like Sandy Richardson!".
Posts: 580
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Hull City AFC, Bradford Bulls, Yorkshire CCC Gender: Male Peter Lorre TUC Sandwich The Kama Sutra A corrupt world, comforted by cheese. Nevermind Location: The frozen wastes of the North. Hull Branch. Birthday: 04/18
posted 14-03-2010 21:13

 
Cavalry Trouser Tips wrote:
brian potter wrote:
Junior Bent is yer man here.

He was hilarious. David Beresford was in a similar vein too - run as fast as hell, only just about having control of the ball, before smacking the cross fuck-knows-where.


Heh, the number of times Bez used to wind his little legs up so quick he'd just run himself and the ball straight into the South Stand at Boothferry Park. Never failed to amuse me, did that.

In fact, that 1 season when we had the enthusiastic but ultimately pointless Beresford on one wing, and the uninterested and comical Ryan Williams on the other, had me wondering for long enough how Gary Alexander managed to bag 20+ goals that season.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351758
Toby Gymshorts
Cheesy and disturbed.
Posts: 2971
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Liverpool FC Gender: Male Ewan McGregor. Yeah, right. Colbert Nation The sadly MIA Bandit Biscuit Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams Crisis? What crisis? Supergrass. Super Furry Animals. Super. Location: Workin' on a sex farm
posted 14-03-2010 21:20

 
Maxi Rodriguez appears to have some kind of problem with the air in England. Quite hilarious, really.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351760
posted 14-03-2010 21:26

 
brrr. Sent a shiver through me there Dotmund. Useless. How he won player of the season (in a dreadsul side admittedly) I'll never know. Shocking.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351775
Mumpo
This boy's a mess, he's a menace, he's a pest
Posts: 5308
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Gender: Male Location: The bucolic nightmare of Cumbria borders Birthday: 10/19
posted 14-03-2010 22:18

 
Meanwhile, on MOTD2, Neil Warnock seems to be on LSD and Martin Keown has just praised Wayne Rooney's pivotal part in Man United's win over Fulham as a "cameo role".
 
Logged Logged
 
#351781
Cavalry Trouser Tips
Posts: 6469
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
Gender: Male
posted 14-03-2010 22:32

 
Craig Gordon is doing a fair impression of the best goalkeeper in the world right now. Which is some feat, when Shay Given is leaning against the post at the other end probably smoking a fag.
 
Logged Logged
 
#351801
Amor de Cosmos
My soul has been Psychedelicized
Posts: 7616
User Offline Click here to see the profile of this user
ICQ#: Queens Park Rangers & Hitchin Town Gender: Male Boris Karloff (if he wasn't a bit mouldy) Fig Newton The Way of all Flesh It's kinda like...err...y'know...like way cool man Da Capo Location: A cosy seat on the outer edge of the planet Birthday: 06/11
posted 14-03-2010 23:17

 
Mumpo wrote:
Meanwhile, on MOTD2, Neil Warnock seems to be on LSD.

Hmmm, could be true. Here's further evidence from Colin:

"I've never had ability like this group of players really.

It's almost like winning the pools for me
I feel like I've just had a weight lifted off my shoulders and I can concentrate on what I'm good at now and that's managing a football team."

The clincher: three games on the bounce he's started Tamas Priskin at striker. No one who isn't experiencing some sort of altered reality would ever do that.
 
Logged Logged
 
Go to top

Today's most read WSC articles

Teenage anguish - USA MLS youth development   

Mike Woitalla   

WSC 145 Mar 99

Kenny Achampong Tricky midfielder who disappeared   

Tom Davies   

WSC 179 Jan 02

Oldham Athletic Dowie, Wembley, Division Two   

Steve Ragg   

WSC 194 Apr 03

No love, no joy Tim Lovejoy’s rubbish autobiography   

Taylor Parkes   

WSC 250 Dec 07

Amir Karic and Ulrich Le Pen Not worth the money?   

Jonathan Barnes   

WSC 221 Jul 05

The domination game Praising Chelsea   

WSC   

WSC 217 Mar 05

Major success? MLS's first season   

Mike Woitalla   

WSC 118 Dec 96

WSC digital edition & apps    

   

 

Unpopularity contest West Ham and Terence Brown   

Darron Kirkby   

WSC 223 Sep 05

Firm Favourites: Old Firm Sectarianism in Scotland   

Dianne Millen   

WSC 206 Apr 04