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posted 14-03-2010 02:20
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Theo Walcott, hands down. Jesus, he is useless. He can never get any height on the ball, and so it always banks uselessly off the shins of some defender long before it comes near to troubling the keeper.
Sure, he's dangerous with the jinky runs, but if he's expected to play on the wing, shouldn't he learn the rather basic skill of how to put the ball into the area on a consistent basis?
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posted 14-03-2010 07:22
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I'm pretty shit at that skill.
But then I've never been a pro.
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posted 14-03-2010 08:53
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You've not lived until you've seen Peter Smith cross a football after a boundingly enthusiastic lope down the wing from right-back. In the days of the Goldstone Ground, Peter Smith used to be able to land every cross right on the head of someone having a picnic in Hove Park.
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posted 14-03-2010 09:36
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I used to always get too much height on my running crosses. I could take a good corner though.
I play in goal now - my tricky winger days are long gone.
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posted 14-03-2010 18:06
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Junior Bent is yer man here.
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posted 14-03-2010 18:35
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You have obviously never seen Matt Jarvis use his burst of pace to get past the full-back, create the ideal crossing position and then hit the first man with admirable consistency (Even if I did enjoy his goal yesterday)
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posted 14-03-2010 18:44
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Aiden McGeady.
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posted 14-03-2010 18:52
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Crossing the ball at all seems to have gone largely out of fashion though. Every wide player wants to cut in and shoot or just hammer the ball in to Ron Atkinson's "corridor of uncertainty".
Another thing that almost seems to have dissapeared as a consequence is the cutback. I bloody love a good cutback to around the penalty spot from the goal line but I can go not only whole seasons but entire managerial eras without seeing a Cardiff player execute one.
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posted 14-03-2010 19:56
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Elano.
Never failed to hit the first man.
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Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
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posted 14-03-2010 19:57
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"Crossing the ball at all seems to have gone largely out of fashion though."
With the exception of Valencia who has a Stanley Matthews like purity of "beat full back, put ball on centre forwards head towards the back post, do nothing else" thing going on.
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Etienne
Life sorted but now lacking time for OTF
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posted 14-03-2010 19:58
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Walcott's inability to cross would be less aggravating if he could pass or shoot instead, sadly he can't do either. Still, maybe eventually he'll do a Lennon and it will click.
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posted 14-03-2010 20:02
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brian potter wrote:
Junior Bent is yer man here.
He was hilarious. David Beresford was in a similar vein too - run as fast as hell, only just about having control of the ball, before smacking the cross fuck-knows-where.
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posted 14-03-2010 20:05
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Harry Truscott wrote:
Another thing that almost seems to have dissapeared as a consequence is the cutback. I bloody love a good cutback to around the penalty spot from the goal line but I can go not only whole seasons but entire managerial eras without seeing a Cardiff player execute one.
Look at this perfect example from that tricky winger... er... Berbatov.
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posted 14-03-2010 20:58
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Cavalry Trouser Tips wrote:
Harry Truscott wrote:
Another thing that almost seems to have dissapeared as a consequence is the cutback. I bloody love a good cutback to around the penalty spot from the goal line but I can go not only whole seasons but entire managerial eras without seeing a Cardiff player execute one.
Look at this perfect example from that tricky winger... er... Berbatov.
Disagree. That wasn't so much a cutback as Berbatov passing to the only person on his side in the penalty area.
I tried to find an example of a real cutback on Youtube, but it was full of the usual videos of PES taken on someone's phone, sometimes with a Nickelback soundtrack.
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posted 14-03-2010 21:13
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Cavalry Trouser Tips wrote:
brian potter wrote:
Junior Bent is yer man here.
He was hilarious. David Beresford was in a similar vein too - run as fast as hell, only just about having control of the ball, before smacking the cross fuck-knows-where.
Heh, the number of times Bez used to wind his little legs up so quick he'd just run himself and the ball straight into the South Stand at Boothferry Park. Never failed to amuse me, did that.
In fact, that 1 season when we had the enthusiastic but ultimately pointless Beresford on one wing, and the uninterested and comical Ryan Williams on the other, had me wondering for long enough how Gary Alexander managed to bag 20+ goals that season.
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posted 14-03-2010 21:20
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Maxi Rodriguez appears to have some kind of problem with the air in England. Quite hilarious, really.
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posted 14-03-2010 21:26
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brrr. Sent a shiver through me there Dotmund. Useless. How he won player of the season (in a dreadsul side admittedly) I'll never know. Shocking.
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Mumpo
This boy's a mess, he's a menace, he's a pest
Posts: 5308
  
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posted 14-03-2010 22:18
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Meanwhile, on MOTD2, Neil Warnock seems to be on LSD and Martin Keown has just praised Wayne Rooney's pivotal part in Man United's win over Fulham as a "cameo role".
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posted 14-03-2010 22:32
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Craig Gordon is doing a fair impression of the best goalkeeper in the world right now. Which is some feat, when Shay Given is leaning against the post at the other end probably smoking a fag.
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posted 14-03-2010 23:17
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Mumpo wrote:
Meanwhile, on MOTD2, Neil Warnock seems to be on LSD.
Hmmm, could be true. Here's further evidence from Colin:
"I've never had ability like this group of players really.
It's almost like winning the pools for me
I feel like I've just had a weight lifted off my shoulders and I can concentrate on what I'm good at now and that's managing a football team."
The clincher: three games on the bounce he's started Tamas Priskin at striker. No one who isn't experiencing some sort of altered reality would ever do that.
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