MM you decided to become a Canaries fan to piss off your brothers then, good call.

You don't choose your team, mate :) It just happened. Ironically, it was at a Lillestrøm - Vålerengen derby that they brought me to when I was 11 that I realised that "Hey, I should support these guys!"

MM, my mate, ahem, Morten from Bergen has put me right about Valerenga and to me they are scum of the highest order <winkey think>

Slightly disagree with the "friendlier when drunk", I was expecting that actually, based on my vague knowlege of Scandinavians when I went to Bergen but I found that even sober, the locals were friendly and quick to chat with me. Mind you, I was wearing a fetching Servette ultras top, I was in the "Football Pub" and people were quite intrigued by it...

Moonlight shadow wrote:
MM, my mate, ahem, Morten from Bergen has put me right about Valerenga and to me they are scum of the highest order <winkey think>
My brother!

New batch of matches this weekend. Tonight Stabæk will host Vålerengen in a battle between west and east. Stabæk, hailing from the richest area in Norway (Bærum, just west of Oslo) against the filth from East Oslo. The home side will have to be favourites for this one. Funny thing about Stabæk; their "stadium" is a concert hall with artificial grass, with an all-covering ceiling and everything. A bloody disgrace it is.

Lillestrøm will host Tromsø tomorrow - a side we haven't beaten at home for as long as I can remember, but I think it was in 2003. For some reason, I think we'll take them this time. Ålesund last week is perhaps the place that differs the most from a home game, and conditions and circumstances will be a lot friendlier this time around. I predict 3-1 Lillestrøm.

Other games of interest are Viking - Brann, the two western giants who both underperformed in the opening match. Expect a packed Viking Stadion and a boring draw.

After this round, I think Rosenborg and Stabæk will be the only ones with a perfect record. Rosenborg will host Start on Monday.

MachoMorten wrote:
Other games of interest are Viking - Brann, the two western giants who both underperformed in the opening match. Expect a packed Viking Stadion and a boring draw.

After this round, I think Rosenborg and Stabæk will be the only ones with a perfect record. Rosenborg will host Start on Monday.
Man, was I off. Viking completely crushed Brann 4-0 and played fantastic football! Brann's good-defensive-midfielder-turned-destructive-defender Rudolph Austin was sent off late in the match as well, not for the last time this season.

Stabæk didn't manage a win, and their home game against Vålerengen ended in a 1-1 draw. The visitors have been overly efficient in front of goal so far; when they took the lead on Saturday, they had scored three goals in two chances!

Last year, Molde finished second in both the league and cup. Now, after two games, they are still without points.

Lillestrøm had to wait ten games for their first win last year, and barely escaped relegation. This year, after a disappointing opening in Ålesund last week, we just had to wait until matchday 2. Tromsø came visiting, a team we hadn't beaten at home since 2003, and got ridiculed by an aggressive home side. It finished 2-0, both goals coming in the first 15, but it should've been more. Delicious! Anthony Ujah, from whom I expect great things, scored his first official LSK goal and assisted legend Arild Sundgot on the second.

The goals from Lillestrøm - Tromsø can be seen here: www.lsk.no/?did=9123957 (Click on "Se video", double-click for full screen)

So, Start surprisingly managed a draw against Rosenborg last night, in a cracking 3-3 performance. That means that the only team with a perfect record so far is... Aalesund?! Luckily, there's 28 matches left.

The talk of the week is Viking's destruction of Brann in the western derby. Brann coach Steinar Nilsen is already a hot topic among scandal-chasing reporters, as Brann haven't scored a goal yet. Sporting director Roald Bruun-Hansen and Nilsen seem to have a feud going, mostly about which one is to blame for the lack of results.

Haugesund salvaged a point in their first Tippeliga home match in about ten years, and after the surprising draw against Brann the week before, they haven't lost an official game in six months.

Tippeligaen's third round was kickstarted by Start and Molde, who battled it out in a 1-1 draw in Kristiansand. Start took the lead through Costa Rican star Cristian Bolaños, but Molde equalised through ex-Heerenveen player Thomas Holm - his first Tippeliga goal since 2004. Last year's double silverists Molde earned their first point of the season with this.

Today, Lillestrøm will play their second home match in a row, against newly promoted Hønefoss, who have yet to score a goal or earn a point. The mantra for the game is "36 years vs. two weeks", as LSK have been in the top flight for 36 years straight and the visitors have been here for two weeks... altogether.

We are huuuge favourites for this tie, which can only mean one thing: We will fuck up. LSK are expected to field the same 11 that ridiculed Tromsø a week ago, even though we signed a new player this week. AEK Athens midfielder Tam Nsaliwa signed a loan contract with us, and is supposedly "too good for this league", according to reports. Even so, he's likely to start on the bench.

Hønefoss also got some good news this week. Their striker, Madiou Konate (ex Molde, Ankaraspor and Ankaragücü), finally got his work permit. Although he was mediocre during his last spell in Norway, he always seemed to find the net against us, costing us the cup in 2005.

Other matches of interest:
Aalesund - Stabæk: Will AaFK keep up their unexpected winning streak against a Stabæk side that looked pale against Vålerengen?

Strømsgodset - Viking: Two teams with nearly unlimited attacking powers. Will definitely not end in a 0-0 stalemate.

Vålerengen - Rosenborg: The biggest match of the week. Vålerengen coming off a surprisingly good start will host last year's champion and this year's only true title candidate. Expect 15-20 000 attendees and a shitty match.

A 6-0 win MM is great for a fuck up.

Here are the highlights from Lillestrøm's demolition of poor Hønefoss: www.lsk.no/?did=9124406 (Click on "Se video")

6-0 was a decent outcome. After two years of relegation-fighting, I had to rub my eyes more than a few times during the match. 2-0 after 15, 4-0 at half time and 6-0 with 30 minutes to go. What is going on here?!

Karim Essediri, the Tunisian full back, was involved in five out of six goals. His crosses can make or break any match. Captain and beast, Frode Kippe, scored twice, while newcomer Tarik Elyounoussi got his first LSK goal. Anthony Ujah scored once again at Åråsen, his second in two home games.

In Ålesund, the home side were close to winning again, but a Pontus Farnerud strike in injury time made it 2-2 after Stabæk had one goal wrongly disallowed, and they were also denied a penalty.

Strømsgodset beat Viking 2-1. The 1-1 goal by Jo Inge Berget was a cracker, combining beautifully with "The Norwegian Rooney", Marcus Pedersen.

I told you to expect a shitty match between Vålerengen and Rosenborg in front of 15-20 000 people. 17 000 showed up to see a shitty match end in 0-0. Both teams were shite.

Tragic news to report about Konyaspor's Baranimir Poljac who was involved in a car accident on April 2 which has left him with serious injuries and a 90% chance he will spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

It seems that he was driving with his brother on an overpass, lost control of the car a bend on which then plunged 7 metres down and landed on its roof. Doctors say he has some movement in his arms and upper body.

It has of course been mentioned in the news here as well, and it's quite close to home as it is just a few years ago that Fredrikstad darling Dagfinn Enerly ended up in a wheelchair after a challenge on the pitch went horribly wrong.

The latest results from Norway to come.

Pardon my long absence, I am sure you are all quite excited to hear about the last few weeks' developement in the cold north.

After two straight wins and eight goals scored, Lillestrøm have run into a bizarre slope. After the 6-0 molestation of Hønefoss, we played three straight 0-0 matches, then 1-1 at home to Haugesund and just yesterday, we followed up with 0-0 against Rosenborg in Trondheim.

With a goal difference of 9-4 after eight matches, we are smack in the middle of the table. Funnily enough, Tromsø have the same goal difference (but in 7 games) and will take the top spot if they can beat Molde tonight!

Vålerengen, Tromsø and Aalesund are so far overachieving, while Molde, Stabæk, Brann and Viking are the biggest letdowns so far. Most of the other teams are where they are supposed to be...

Has the league finished MM or are Lillestrom stuck in mid-table with nothing to play for?

Forgot all about this thread!

Part of that is that Lillestrøm is such a depressing club to follow. After playing some of the best football in the league up until mid-May, we have now gone nine games without a win, including home losses to our greatest rivals Vålerengen and Rosenborg.

However, the league is far from finished. Rosenborg with Nils Arne Eggen back in charge (the guy who led them to years of continual Champions League glory) after Erik Hamrén went for the Swedish national job, they have semented the first place and will not let go of it. Couple of surprises in Vålerengen and Tromsø have been the closest, but there is a huge gap in quality between Rosenborg and the rest.

We are going downhill fast, and are currently in mid-table limbo, getting ever closer to the relegation battle. Luckily, Sandefjord and Kongsvinger seem doomed already, but Hønefoss have started to pick up points, and Stabæk and Molde have the quality to surpass us during the autumn. It's sketchy.

This weekend we're up against Aalesund, a team we never beat away but usually at home. Hopefully this will turn the trend, we are getting rid of injuries and might even sign a new player or two. We are in dire need of a decent winger, maybe two, after Tarik Elyounoussi returned to Heerenveen. Erling Knudtzon has been utter shite and he's pretty much the only real winger we have.

The bright spot in all of this is Anthony Ujah, the 19 year old striker from Nigeria. He came here in the winter and has scored 7 or 8 goals so far, not even playing regularly all the time. Huge prospect for us with his strength and speed.

For the first time in ages, fans and players of Lillestrøm experienced a win with 1-0 against Kjetil Rekdal's Hønefoss. Nigerian striker-turned-winger Edwin Eziyodawe with the winner after about an hour of play, having dribbled past the defence and smashing it into the net. Extatic drinking binge ensued, and I ended up crashing at the stadium for the night as I had no more money for taxis or anything.

Relegation battle seems unlikely now, and the club has stated they still hope for a top 5 or top 6 finish. Not gonna happen. At the same time, both Vålerengen and Rosenborg won their matches and are still number two and one respectively.

Vålerengen manager Martin Andresen has caused controversy the last week as he's open about not hoping Rosenborg will qualify for the champions league. Pundits have been flaming him for "unpatriotic" opinions, but fans of pretty much all clubs are agreeing with something from the Vålerengen camp for once. We only have one place in the CL, and the money there is absolutely ridiculous compared to what the other clubs can earn. A lot of people are afraid of a new 90's era, in which Rosenborg earned millions every year and always winning the league by 15 points or more.

Tomorrow will see FC København host Rosenborg for the decisive qualifying match. Rosenborg with a slender 2-1 lead from the home leg, and they will be without their most important player Anthony Annan. I for one am Danish as f*** tomorrow night.

Here's the league table after 21 of 30 rounds:

1. Rosenborg 14 7 0 42-15 49
2. Vålerengen 12 4 5 49-23 40
3. Tromsø 11 6 4 26-17 39
4. Aalesund 10 3 8 29-23 33
5. Strømsgodset 10 3 8 32-37 33
6. Viking 8 8 5 32-24 32
7. Start 9 5 7 38-41 32
8. Haugesund 8 6 7 35-28 30
9. Lillestrøm 6 10 5 33-26 28
10. Odd 7 7 7 33-34 28
11. Stabæk 7 6 8 33-30 27
12. Brann 5 8 8 30-33 23
13. Molde 4 8 9 31-41 20
14. Hønefoss 5 5 11 18-42 20
15. Kongsvinger 3 5 13 20-43 14
16. Sandefjord 1 5 15 13-37 8

Sandefjord obviously doomed, Rosenborg obviously taking the league.

Funny thing about Stabæk, Brann and Molde, who are all in trouble: Brann and Stabæk won the league in 2007 and 2008 respectively, while Molde were runners-up last year. This is common in Norway, teams that perform well one season get in trouble the next year. Fredrikstad were relegated last year after taking the silver the previous season, and we finished 4th and winning the cup before turning shit before the 2008 season.

Recently promoted Haugesund are surprisingly good this season and have yet to lose at home. Speaking of not losing, Rosenborg lost only one match last season and have yet to lose this year.

Joy and relief all across Norway tonight as Rosenborg failed to qualify for the Champions League. FC København won 1-0 in Denmark and went through on away goals. FCK is, by the way, coached by Lillestrøm legend and semi-god Ståle Solbakken. Hail, hail!

Thought you'd be happy about that.

In reality the Champion's League offers a huge opportunity for one side who regularly qualifies to earn huge amounts of money and to negatively distort their home league, it is magnified when the league becomes smaller. A side like Cluj could become their league's Rosenborg.

No league deserves to have a team like the Rosenborg of the 90s. Hope Cluj fails.

In unrelated news; The following was written by the user GrusomB on the Lillestrøm fans' message board a couple of years ago. It's a response to an English-speaking fan (!) who was wondering about why Vålerengen are to be despised:

"Perhaps a bit more info would be in order here. This is the obvious choice in regards to our national league, even though it is in large part a media and club administration-derby. We(Lillestrøm) are by far the fiercest rivals of Vålerengens IF, but because Lyn also come from Oslo(we do not, Lillestrøm is situated some 15 miles from Oslo and is a city onto itself, albeit a very small one) the media and the two respective clubs built up their rivalry in order to make more money for the clubs and more local football to cover for the capital-based newspapers, which includes the three largest papers in the country(the sporting editor of the third largest paper, Dagbladet, is significantly nicknamed simply "Vålerenga" within the paper itself, just to give you some idea of how biased the Oslo media is toward this steaming, reaking, foul pile of shit). This cynicity is very, very typical of Vålerengens IF, which likes to market itself as a working class club by the people, for the people. This is about as true for them as it is for Chelsea in London, but these people have no scrouples or morals, and thus give not so much as a slightly elevated fuck about what lies they perpetrate on the gullible and often simpleminded inhabitants of eastern Oslo. Lyn on the other hand is the westside club, thus making them the supposed economic powerhouse of the two, as their geographical key areas are the most affluent in the city. Vålerengen, as you've probably gathered, come from the traditionally "poorer" eastside of the city, which historically has been where the working classes have resided ever since the industrial revolution towards the end of the eighteenth century. The truth, however, is that Vålerenga are by far the richest club, while Lyn is among the poorest clubs in the league. I will give you more background and subjective opinions fueled by both facts and deep, deep hatred later on, but now to the core of the matter:

Due to Vålerengas uncanny and delightful habit of getting relegated with regular intervals, and Lyn being a smaller club which naturally inhabit the lower leagues with similar intervals, though with a lot more dignity and without the disgusting sense of entitlement often found in the supporters of Vålerengen, who really do believe they are superior to all other clubs in the country in spite of the fact that they essentially are a media jippo supported by white trash(and I do mean this in the most vicious way possible) and glory hunters, the clubs have not met all to often in the eighties and early nineties. The last 13 years however, they have mostly played in the same division, and thus have faced each other a lot more often than during the aforementioned period. The point of all this is this: In 1981(before I was born, I think) Vålerenga beat Lyn for the last time. They have not beaten them ever since, and LOOOOOONG may it continue. That makes 27 years of well deserved agony, and thank fuck for that. This is obviously a source of great chagrin for the phony bastards, and a source of delight for almost everybody else. Now, we probably take more pleasure from this fact than most others still, but this is only due to the fact that the same media that go into a feeding frenzy whenever a Vålerenga-player, coach or twelve year old fan eats a Kebab or catches a bus have figured out that vilifying us(Lillestrøm, we are now the most hated club in the country, a position Vålerengen held for keeps for many years previously) reduces the negative attention on their own darlings. If this was not the case, every football fan in Norway would be wearing a specially-for-the-occasion-purchased Lyn replica kit come derby day. Alas...

If there is anything else you need to know, please ask, as I take great delight in ranting and raving about the corrupt juggernaut of putridity that is Vålerengens If.

Oh, I forgot something. Here is why Vålerenga is a corrupt juggernaut of said content: They have repeatedly ruined themselves economically, but are allways let off by one of two factors. Whenever they bankrupt themselves, they are either dealt with ridiculously leniently by the football association(normally there are other clubs guilty of the same offences, but on a smaller scale, who are either bankrupted or deducted points at the same time), which is itself a big fucking boys club staffed by incompetents and mongoloids, thus enabling them to go on perverting norwegian football, or they are bailed out by their hideous oil-tanker magnate sugar daddy. This sugar daddy is John Fredriksen, a man so lacking in morals and ethics he makes Dick Cheney seem like a loveable grandmother. He made his fortune by forcing his tankers to enter the persian gulf during the Iraq-Iran war in the eighties, costing several of his third world employees(who, of course, were grossly underpaid from the get-go) their lives, and filling his bloodstained pockets with ridiculous profits due to the staggering oil prices the said war produced. Oh, and the dead workers families never saw one cent of compensation. This is a person who now recides in Cyprus to avoid paying taxes on his ridiculous fortune to his native country(he is easily among the 500 hundred richest people on the planet, if not one of the 100 richest), just in case you needed further evidence of his foulness.

Now, if you don't mind, I'll go hide myself while the lawsuits start piling up in my mailbox. Don't worry though, it was worth it."