Werll... it had to happen, didn't it?

(Ed Wood doesn't count, btw)


The Kid
The Gold Rush
Event Horizon
Jaws III-D
Jaws IV
The Swarm

I was mulling over a fair few films with Scarlett Johansson or Jude Law in (Is there soem montrosity with both in?) but it has to be joint winners

"Before Sunset" and "Before Sunrise"

Two people you don't give a shit about walking around talking in two different cities

Guy Potger wrote:

QUOTE:
The Kid
The Gold Rush

The Charlie Chaplin films? Are you insane?

Moulin Rouge
Lost In Space
Ghost Dad

Are we including films that are so bad they're amusing, or just soulcrushingly shit ones?

If the former, then:

Plan 9 From Outer Space
The Core
Armageddon

If the latter, then:
Showgirls
Battlefield Earth
Swordfish

There's so many fun bad films that it would be impossible so I'm going to go for films that I would stick pins in my legs all day rather than watch again

1/ Existenz
2/ Punch-drunk Love
3/ Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4/ I Heart Huckabees
5/ Northfork
6/ The Neon Bible
7/ Dans Paris
8/ Vacas
9/ Sex and Lucia
10/ Y Tu Mama Tambien

Oh dear God.

Lyra, go have a lie down. 2 and 10 were excellent films and 4 was just average but not one of the "Worst films of all time....ever!!!!".

Wow Lyra. Y Tu Mama was in my top 5 favorite films, I still think the best film I've seen this decade.

Bored Of Discipline wrote:

QUOTE:
I was mulling over a fair few films with Scarlett Johansson or Jude Law in (Is there soem montrosity with both in?) but it has to be joint winners

"Before Sunset" and "Before Sunrise"

Two people you don't give a shit about walking around talking in two different cities

Ha!

Y'see, I love 'Before Sunrise' ...but, then, I'm just a big softy and a hopeless romantic. (Was, I should say.)

We've done this ...how many times, now?

Anyway, my usual selections:

'Night of the Lepus'
'The Giant Spider Invasion'

evilC wrote:

QUOTE:
We've done this ...how many times, now?

Anyway, my usual selections:

'Night of the Lepus'
'The Giant Spider Invasion'

Night of the Lepus! That was awesome...ly bad.

Put me down for Mrs Beast's collection of rom-com's. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a particular favourite as I paid money to see that

You are so odd sometimes, Lyra.

Worst films, hm?

Well Ghost, obviously. It's got Whoopie fucking Goldberg, Patrick fucking Swayze AND Demi fucking Moore in it. Bile inducing cast, bile inducing script. Bilge of the lowest order.
Next up, Pearl Harbour. A film so bad I had to take it out of the DVD player and throw it out the window after an hour. I wouldn't have even used it as an coaster lest it made my drinks taste of ham.
Then it's the only film I've ever walked out of the cinema for. The Thin Red Line.
Pompous, abject and so mind-crushingly dull even the action scenes couldn't redeem it/wake me up. Makes Pearl Harbour look like an accomplished film.
A controversial one here. It's popular on OTF but I would scoop my eyes out rather than inflict it on myself again. Ghost Dog. Way of the Samurai. Oh dear god, it's impossible to express how pretensions this bilge is. Goes right past laughable bad into an area of appallingness that could have you chewing off your own hands in embarrasment just because you're the same species as the people who committed it to film.
Finally there is no possible way a worst five films ever could exist without at least one film staring Kevin Costner. The choice of Costner-led screen-crime is rich and varied. The Postman, Waterworld, Dances With fucking Wolves perhaps. But no film really personifies the gut-crunching horror of Costner more than Tin Cup. It's conclusive proof that aliens haven't visited the Earth because if they had seen Tin Cup in all it's awful glory, they'd have sterilised the planet with ninja space weapons just to teach us a lesson for allowing Costner to continue to exist.

Possibly this belongs in a different category, i.e. "worst book to film transition" but I saw "The Bone Collector" recently having read the book and was appalled. A fairly decent crime thriller given a huge budget and turned into shite. Film alchemy in reverse.

imdb's list may be fairly accurate, but I'm proud to say I've never seen any of them so I wouldn't know.

I would like to put forward a film called "What's Good For The Goose", in which Norman Wisdom has a mid-life crisis, gets psychedelic and backs himself an 18 year old mistress.

(The saving grace is a cameo appearance by The Pretty Things).

Oh, and "On The Buses: The Movie".

I forgot the Cable Guy.

What's wrong with my choices? That right there is the top ten worst film experiences ever. I'd rather watch Showgirls or Before Sunrise any day.

Hobbes YOU are so weird. The Thin Red Line is a masterpiece.