Darren Anderton will be in an old folks home and he'll have a clause that guarantees he gets the most medication every day, whether he needs it or not.
I read a bit more about the Lampard deal this afternoon and it is a little more complex than we thought. He stays on £ 120,000 per week at the moment but has a guaranteed increase to £130k next year and then £140k the year after. In years 4 and 5 the weekly salary then declines, it didn't say by how much but I might guess that it would go back to £130k in year 4 and £120k in year 5. John Terry remains Chelsea's highest earner on £135k per week with Ballack and Shevchenko on £130k.
I expect Kenyon will claim that he is looking out for Chelsea's best interests with the diminshing element but even at its poorest it's still a shed load of money to pay someone at the back end of a career like that.
Five year contracts are common of course and if you give one to a player then there is always the risk of injury and that player's contribution reducing enormously while the remuneration remains high. Occupational hazard of course, but the risks are so much higher when a player is in his 30s than when he is his 20s. At the wrong end of a career a player has accumulated a lot of stresses and strains over the years and as they decline physically, so their ability to shrug these off and play unhindered declines in tandem. Lampard is an all action sort of player with a lot of miles on his clock, he's the type who could suffer despite his generally excellent record thus far with injuries.
I thoroughly agree with Arsenal and Man United's policy on over 30 year olds. It protects the club of course but it calls the players bluff a lot as well. By that age those players will be past their peak, so their ability to pick and choose clubs at the same sort of level is reduced. Then there is the domestic element too, players in their 30s are much more likely to have families and kids and roots which would take a lot of upheaval were they to move on abroad somewhere. We're all like that as we get older, change becomes less desirable and more unsettling.
Contract negotiations should be a bit like that, bluff and counter bluff with compromise being the eventual outcome. Chelsea just roll over and give whatever their players ask for, and if you were at a club that wealthy then who wouldn't chance their arm by asking for the moon as well as the stars. Chelsea throw in the sun too, tax free.
I don't understand why they didn't flog him to Inter this year to be honest. They would have got a good price and as everyone says, his level of play will deline in a year or two. He's still great now mind you - there were a couple of performances last year that were among the best I've seen from him at the club, but I couldn't help but feel that this was his time to depart as a one of the club's legends.
I assume Cristiano Ronaldo is watching this sorry affair unfold with great interest.
Watch out for another pay increase demand and more 'Ronaldo to Real' mongering next summer when the double Glazers padlock their wallets in response...