It took a few months, but I finally sat through a non-sport programme made by Sky. I forget the details but it had "Britain's" in the title, and consisted of lots of people talking about fights in pubs as if they were a pleasure on a par with Venetian painting.

Is it always this bad? If so, why? Don't American cable channels make the odd good show? Has satellite telly in Britain ever made a good show? What's the best ever, Danny Dyer's Real Football Factories?

Presumably if the licence fee went (not impossible) would we get any good programmes made at all?

"Don't American cable channels make the odd good show?"

The subscription ones do (HBO, Showtime) and of course Comedy Central and Battlestar Galactica on Sci-Fi. But there's a lot of dross. Sky, unlike Fox, doesn't have much of a production budget or ethos as it's always been geared toward US imports and cheap sub-ITV filler.

Sky Arts has some decent stuff on occasionally, although I think it might well fail your "not Civilisation" test, Tubbs.

I've just become aware of that channel, and it looks fairly decent.

If budgets are the key, then you think they might bung some penniless academic a few quid to talk about something. Or is that sort of telly not as cheap to make as I'm suggesting?

So Horse/GY, what's the best programme ever made by a British cable/satellite broadcaster?

QUOTE:
Sky, unlike Fox, doesn't have much of a production budget or ethos as it's always been geared toward US imports and cheap sub-ITV filler.

The funny thing is that Sky always try to hype their terrible, homemade game-shows with the same fervour they'd give a Fulham-Wigan game on Sky Sports.

After really giving it some thought, the best programme Sky make might be the "Ross Kemp On Gangs" one.

I mean, the bald meathead does tend to ruin everything with the commentary, but the series does go to some interesting places?

The "Last Chance To Save" series was half-decent. I enjoyed that cartoon about lions with John Goodman too.

I haven't had Sky for a year now, so I haven't a clue what's been on recently.

The Ross Kemp in Afghanistan series was well done I thought and wasn't just all about showing how tough people were.

A lot of trash is made and shown, but that was thoughtful and respectful whilst being interesting and revealing.

Been doing without Sky One for a bit and I can't say I've missed it all that much. What helps is the trailers for the utter shite that are sometimes plonked on the other sports channels. The sight of gurning, muscle-bound oafs standing around Ian Wright promoting the Gladiators show can almost have its own inner voice attached, the one that says: "You're missing nothing. There are better things to watch. See this? Who cares? You'll be seeing and doing better things when this is on..."

Have I read that correctly, Ian? You have sports channels but no Sky One. Please tell me the secret.

There's nothing on satellite TV that I can't get off the internet.

Well, look up "I Have Sex With Strangers" from one of the Virgin channels last night. Women are the sexual predators now- so concluded a panel of experts, three men outside a pub, and three women who laughed a lot and had their arms around each other's shoulders.

Branson for BBC Director General.

I watched some of that Tubbs. It was a bit daft. Men, it told us, used to find sex on the net. Now, though, women do to. It didn't mention who the men were finding to have sex with when it was just the men. (they did start off saying they were talking post-Gaydar, etc, so presumably not just other men).

It all seemed a bit unrealistic to me as well. Surely you have to be willing to sleep with people you don't actually want to, in order to get this much sex? Still, one of the characters was called Lucipher, which was amusing.

Indeed. "Sexual predator" women (in the sense of there are fewer of them than men and they can choose) exist in pubs and clubs as well.

I strongly reject the idea that women can take their pick. No we can't!

You pretty much can. Us men are weak and stupid.