I've always felt quite strongly that the main purpose of rabbits is to taste good in casseroles, especially when accompanied by a nice spicy full-bodied red. Oh, and perhaps to serve as some kind of metaphor advertising the joy of frequent shagging. Frankly, the idea of spending time looking after a live member of the species as a pet has never had any appeal whatever.

But when your beloved 12 year old daughter, who lives with her Mum, asks you if you'll look after her new pet whilst she's away on hols, the response "you must be f*cking joking" is never really an option.

So here I am, on rabbit care duty. So far I've learnt the bad news (they don't do anything interesting; they shit in random places) and the good news (the shit is conveniently solid and dry).

Is there anything else worth learning about them?

I thought this thread was going to about to be about something entirely different, vis-a-vis a certain product that is apparently very popular off the shelves in Anne Summers outlets.

But anyway, as you were, "real" rabbits, don't leave them hopping around in your garden overnight, unless you want to find out just how close you are to your local foxes. And there will be some around, believe me. Even in central London. I once had to get get up very early for work when I lived in Southgate, had to meet a taxi outside my house at about 5-00 in the morning for a connection to a plane from Heathrow, and was staggered to discover that the only awake denizens of my road at that time were me, the taxi driver, and two foxes tugging a bin-bag apart at the end of the street.

Well, they eat their own shit to make sure they don't miss out on any rabbit poo goodness, but I suppose most people know that.

I think I heard somewhere that they are the only animals that can re-absorb embryos if times are hard. I'm not sure if this is true, though.

Funny you mention foxes, Rogin. We do indeed have a fair few of them in Stokey, and I have sighted them in the street a few times and also heard their infernal screeching at night. But, by coincidence, a couple of days ago I saw one of the cheeky buggers in my own (small, inner-London style) back garden. It gave me a bit of a stare as I opened the window and jumped on to the fence and away.

Fear not, Bunny is safe indoors.

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Well, they eat their own shit

Crikey, I didn't know that. I wonder if that's why the commercially sold rabbit food pellets (which my charge has of a morning, complemented by a gourmet dish of freshly sliced carrot of an evening) look remarkably similar to the critter's shit pellets.

If you've got a cat-flap, seal it up. Friends of ours used to let their new, cute, fluffy bunny rabbits have the run of downstairs, while they were upstairs at night, and one morning came down to find that foxes (well, they assumed it was foxes) had got in through the cat flap and left little more of Floxy and Poxy (or whatever they were called) than a trail of blood and entrails.

Or it could have been, like, the cat.

He did have a suspiciously contented look on his face, by all accounts.

The most attractive person in the entire histpry of the world was looking at rabbits when I rang her this evening, scaring them away.

Carry on.

I think your description of her attractiveness needs a little work there.

Maybe the rabbits have better judgment concerning beauty than Doctoro PhD.

Only rabbit advice I can give is to not let them emigrate to Australia.

According to rugby international Mark Bailey's PhD, they were very important to the mediaeval economy in England.

Rabbits are the best pets. We've had Mr Twitchly Twitch for just over a year now and I am completely sold on him. He is the most placid, delightful creature you could imagine (at least, heis since we had his balls whipped off. Before that he'd rut furiously away at your arm as soon as look at you). Sometimes I like to just give him a big cuddle and snuffle my face in his beautiful oatmeal mane (he is a Lionhead, no common lops for us). He does not smell a bit. Why people have cats - why cats even exist - when rabbits make better pets in every respect, is beyond me.

Cats bury their own shit. Rabbits eat their own shit.

Why do people give rabbits such shit names?

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The most attractive person in the entire histpry of the world

You've got Jonathan Rhys Meyers' phone number? Can you put in a word for me?